grandma's tea cup collection

 Sunday's, I don't set my alarm.  When I wake up, I wake up.  No to do list is waiting.  And every Sunday when I'm home...I find myself wandering into a little project.  This morning was cleaning teacups.  My grandma Ella had a big collection of teacup.  Grandpa had made her 8 tea cup cabinets to hang on their walls.  Each held 9 teacups.  When she passed my sister and I were gifted her collection.  

At the time, I wasn't having tea parties.  Frilly, fancy teacups weren't really my thing.  As much as I love my grandma, I didn't really want a giant collection of teacups.  I didn't even like pink or fancy dishes.

Of course, growing up, I didn't like broccoli, asparagus, brussels sprouts, or beets either.  Everyday you lose cells and gain new cells.  Every 7 years we become new people.

A few weeks ago, I cleaned out, organized, rebooted and downsized all my dishes, my grandma dishes, good dishes, tea cups everything you would find in a china cabinet.  Which is funny because, I also never wanted a china closet and yet somehow, I had enough good dishes and such to fill a china closet.  90% of which were gifted to me or wandered into my life. 

Over the years, I fell in love with tea parties and vegetables.  A friend of mine endeared me to the art of tea.  Sitting, enjoying a cup of tea during a work pause or after work satisfaction.  Maybe I learned to love tea parties by reading about Wabi Sabi, or going to Iona, or from my aunt Darlean.  Or maybe I've always be destined to love tea parties.  I'm a slow bloomer. 

Like the dishes I didn't buy, tea parties wandered into my life.  I didn't search them out, and yet they found me anyway.

This morning, as I was washing my tea cup collection.  (My own collection whittled down to 9 tea cups with saucers.)  I was wondering.  As many tea cups as my grandma had did she ever have tea?  Did she use her tea cups as tea cups?  I never saw her have tea.  And yet, as much as she like collecting tea cups, I can't remember one time her using those tea cups.  Maybe she used them when I wasn't there.  My hunch is, she loved collecting tea cups and making cookies, pies and the most amazing sticky pecan rolls.  But the actual tea party...I don't know.

Now I find myself falling in love with tea parties, tiny bites.   Moments you savor slowly, absorbing the moment as well as the food and tea.  Tea served in a tiny cup feels special.  Deliberate, better?  I'm awake.  Mugs of hot tea go well with books, afghans and afternoons.  Teacups, are used awake-present.

I know my grandma loved her tea collection.  Going to garage sales, on day trips, finding a teacup calling her name.  Having the means to buy something beautiful just for the sake of beauty- was a gift to her.  She grew up very poor.  Her china closet was more than just dishes.  

I understood why she loved teacups.  This morning as I was washing each tiny plate, little cup, I was present. I was so present.  This is what a tea party means to me.  Savoring a moment.  Being fully present and tasting life.  Pausing from my own life to slow down, slow way down and simply sip, or taste a bite a tasty bite.  Tea parties, even tea for one, when served on tiny plates and little teacups with a special treat...makes me... happy. 

With a tiny tea cup you take tiny sips.  You hold your posture a little straighter.  The table set just so.  It's a tiny moment in life. It is special.  Tea parties are special moments.

Thank you, grandma, for my tea collection that took a long time to be appreciated.

If you have a teacup collection.  Dust them off.  Wash them.  Take them out of the cupboard.  Brew a bit of tea.  Make a tiny treat.  Sit up straight, breathe slow and deep - satisfying breaths.  Invite a friend over.  Tea parties don't have to be fancy.  Little peanut butter and jelly sandwiches do just fine.

               Denise

I have an update to this tea party... Yesterday, my mom and I got into a conversation about sewing machines and tea parties.  I gave away my sewing machine this summer.  On paper, I should love to sew. My mom is an amazing seamstress, so is my step mom. I'm not. I'd rather be doing pretty much anything but sewing.  To be fair, I love to sew straight lines, go buy material and fantasize about all the things I could create...but that's as far as it goes.  I was telling my mom I was loving tea parties.  She told me something I don't think I realized.  Denise you have always loved tea parties.  She would know, she is my mom.  Thinking about it, I can't imagine a time that I would turn away a tea party.

Secrets of a happy farmer from 1913

July...comes around only once a year. I know it may seem like we are all on a race to the end of the year. In reality, we are in a circle. July is back, she circles around every year...this same time, same messages, same wisdom.

July rings summer more than any other month.

Are you pausing long enough to welcome her or him in? Give space to play, to pause to be! To eat hot dogs, lemonade and frozen ice cream on a stick? Am I?

We need to. Play, rest and just being are equally as important as goals, achievements and focus. They balance each other out.

July keeps us sane!

Question! What does summer mean to you? Do it! At least a little bit.

A note about Thomas Mitchell. The author of the following quote. As I was looking up a link for you, I found Thomas Mitchell wrote his essays in 1913. Prior to world war 1. I have even more awe for his timeless wisdom. Enjoy!

"One of the best secrets of a happy life is the art of extracting comfort and sweetness from every circumstance...

People are always looking for happiness at some future time and in some new thing, or some new set of circumstances, in possession of which they some day expect to find themselves.

But the fact is, if happiness is not found now, where we are, and as we are, there is little chance of it ever being found. There is a great deal more happiness around us day by day than we have the sense or power to seek and find.

If we are to cultivate the art of living, we should cultivate the art of extracting sweetness and comfort out of everything, as the bee goes from flower to flower in search of honey."

Thomas Mitchell, a farmer, on happiness:

Source: Essays on Life

shared by James Clear in his weekly newsletter

6 easy and enjoyable stress reducers... that work!!

Are you feeling stress?  Yup, we all are...here are 6 of my top stress busting tips for November... in no particular order.  Try one or two... let me know how it goes.   One simple shift can change everything... I'm here right here with you!

  Go outside

These are tiny fungi in our garden

Even 15 minutes out of the house and unplugged can shift your mood.  While you are outside...go for a walk, look around to see what wonders the season is bringing.  What are the clouds doing? Wave at neighbors.  Talk to barking dogs.  Smile at bursts of beauty. Move out of your brain and into the world.  Nature expands you.  Your radiant energy is nourished.

Get your zzzz's

Create space to sleep.  I totally get how easy it is to fall asleep on the couch watching TV or scrolling through Instagram or Facebook.  Those activates turn me into a zombie's!  How about you?  So create space to sleep 8-9 hours of nourishing sleep.  In addition to a good night's sleep...take a nap.  A well rested baby is a happy baby...we never grow out of our need to sleep. Sleep is when we heal, reboot, and replenish our mind, body and spirits.

Play

  Play is the antidote to stress!  Unplug, shut off work and go play.  Our nervous system needs play.  If you have ever had a puppy you know how sad they get when they don't get to play.  We are no different than puppies.  Joy begets Joy... cultivate play.  Discover what makes your spirit sparkle.

  Gratitude

  Gratitude moves us from the worry and fretting, fear and dread and into a world that warms your heart.  For a complete guide to the wonders of gratitude, check out this gatherings of articles...The neuroscience of Gratitude and how it affects anxiety and depression.  And check out Joshua Becker's a month of Gratitude

Gratitude Defined:  The quality of being thankful.  Readiness to show appreciation for and to; return kindness to someone

 Be present  

Move your attention from your thoughts to your body.  When you are feeling your body, your breath... your brain can relax.  By becoming present and breathing long, deep, slow nourishing breaths...you get to rest your weary mind.  

"To stay present in everyday life,  it helps to be deeply rooted within yourself:  otherwise, the mind, which as incredible momentum will drag you along like a wild river.    It means to inhabit your body fully.  To always have some of your attention in the inner energy filed of your body.  To feel the body from within, so to speak.  Body awareness keeps you present. It anchors you in the Now".   Practicing the Power of Now... Eckhart Tolle

Practice acts of kindness

This can be as simple as waving at a neighbor, to calling a friend.  Even pickup up the house so it feels better for your family.  Not as a chore but an act of love...we will feel better.  When we stop thinking of our own wows...and focus our attention on helping someone else.

  A funny thing happens...we feel better. It is the gift of giving.

You are more powerful, resourceful and resilient than you will ever know.  If you want an additional boost of inspiration... read the dressmaker of Khair Khana.  This book really put in perspective how strong we are...and how lucky we are!!  I highly recommend.

Wow...this book will put our 2020 in perspective!

And if you need support, reach out.  You are not alone, you are surrounded by lots of kindred spirits...and we are all fingering this out one day at a time.

   Denise Frakes  your life and home coach

 

When you wobble...dig deep. Be a dandelion!

I've been smitten with dandelions ever since I can remember.  This little weed, she inspires me. Her determination to thrive in any condition, to bloom wherever she is planted, speaks to me.

We are living in wild times.  We have to decide if we are going to bloom or whither.  Nature teaches us how to be resilient, how to thrive in storms and come back from fires.  How to bloom on our own.  We are more resilient than we know.

I love dandelions because of their feisty spirits.  When I start to wobble...and of course I do wobble, slump and grieve....and then I think: "Be a Dandelion Denise".

The wisdom of Dandelion

My tap root runs deep. It is strong. When I need nourishment or water I dig deep into the earth.

Try to pull me up...my root may snap, but that is only temporary.  Before long I will be blooming again ... stronger, brighter, more joyfully.

My roots are medicinal, I am meant to heal

My leaves are nourishing, I am food

My flower is bright yellow. I bring joy

I'm the first to bloom in the spring and one of the last to bloom into winter.  If I get planted in tall grass, I will shoot my blooms up high so I can see. I will explode thousands of seeds. I have faith at least one will find soil.

Not everyone understands my value.  By most, I'm considered a weed and yet I don't mind. I continue to multiply and grow despite the effort to quiet me.  I don't need much to bloom. You can find me growing in unlikely places.  I grow in ditches. I bloom on freeway walls...with nothing to hang onto but a handful of dirt...I will bloom no matter where I find myself. It is my gift.

I'm a determined and feisty soul. I am who I am, and I like my spirit. I will thrive in any climate, any season, any location.  I am tender and strong.  I am bouquets of love given by tiny hands.

I am the definition of resiliency.  I am medicine. I am nourishment. I am spirited. I am beautiful. I am bright, I am happy. I am authentically me.  I am a dandelion. 

This is what I think when I need to dig in deep and bloom... in uncertain times ... let your roots dig in deep, your spirit bloom.  Don't ask permission or wait for the perfect conditions. 

We have one life and this is it!  Let's bloom where we are planted!  Be a dandelion! Be whatever you need to be...listen to your heart, your spirit, your joy.  Let's find ways to thrive, re-create, to connect, bloom, grow, share.  We all have it in us.  That feisty, wild spirit... this spirit we need to listen to.  The world needs our blooms!

No matter what the world is doing, in spite what is going on around us- bloom!

    Denise...I'm digging in right next to you!

Wabi-Sabi Beauty

How to create breathing space...for 2020

Pausing...
Do you feel like your life is rushing by? Like there is no space to breathe, to play, to create, to love?  It's just task, errand, work, TV, sleep...Facebook videos...What do we do with our time?  Do we even know?

I love my work... I get to explore and play with these questions everyday.  How can we make cleaning our homes not only healthy and efficient but enjoyable and nourishing?  How can we love our lives and have room to play in any weather and any season?

Pausing...do you pause?  Or rush from task to task, from action to action to rest and then up and going again.  Do we let our breath complete it's cycle, our food space to digest, our minds space to wonder and ponder?  Do we think of our lives as circles repeating or a race to run?

As the new year rolls around, I'm fascinated by our habits.  I live in the world of habits.  Most of my coaching is around not goals but daily habits.   Cleaning, breathing, un-cluttering, health, happiness, creating space to ....????

These are lifestyle habits more than goal driven actions.  A lifestyle action focuses more on the practice of doing... to get the outcome you wish.  A goal driven action focuses on the end result. I believe in enjoying the journey...and arriving where we wish to go.

 Pausing gives our daily music form.   We relax our bodies, untangle our minds and let our natural beauty have space to be.  Think of time as a circle instead of a destination.  Our destinations are all the same...we will all pass away.  This is life.  If we focus on the circles within our life's journey, we give ourselves space to play, to nourish and improve our life skills.

Where are the circles?  And what do they have to do with Pausing?
    Circles...each minute is 60 seconds, an hour 60 minutes, a day 24 hours, a week, 7 days a month 30 days, a season 3 months, a year 12 months...After each segment- we circle back to the beginning.  We are back to January.  Circles give us rhythm.  They give us natural measurements.  They move with the seasons and are ever shifting with the seasons.
    Pausing...is learning to pause within the circles.  To pause between projects, at the beginning of each new day...at the end.  Pausing before we eat to be thankful and present.  Pausing before we begin to visualize how we want this segment to go...how we want to feel.  Pausing at the end of a cycle a circle to ask...how did this go?  What could we have done differently, what did we love?

  The truth is each second is a gift.  No matter what we are doing, it is our lives.  Our lives are impermanent, imperfect and uniquely our own..we share this with others.  Learning to pause between the circles... to be present and to relax.

  When we are in a relaxed and receptive state we are more intuitive.  When we are happy we are healthier, our ability to problem solve higher, our natural ease of connection is improved.
When we learn to pause, we let our bodies relax... We hop off the treadmill and go wash dishes. And then we have a conversation.  We put down our cell phones, turn off the marathon tv series.  We put down our fork and smile.  We create space to create.

When we pause, we give our lives space.  By thinking in terms of circles.  We can practice being and living instead of racing.  This is not a practice of wondering around. we still have a vision of our future and how we want to feel.  The practice of pausing and feeling makes the path more enjoyable.  And when we get to our destination we are not out of breath, exhausted and depleted by life... but nourished each step along the way.

We live in abundance.  Sometimes we need to pause from abundance to breathe.  To create nourishment instead of gathering more.

Do this...

Practice pausing.  3 times a day for 3 minutes each pause.  Become still. listen, breath, smile, relax your shoulders, breathe deeper and slower.  Soften your eyes, relax your neck, soften your belly and stand tall. gently put your shoulder blades down from your ears and into your back pockets.  Listen... Listen what do you hear?  How does your body feel?
                Finish with saying a little blessing or kindness to someone or something.
                See your world as you wish it to be.

And this... create a home for your pause... first thing in the morning, before sleep, before you eat... when you pee, between projects... find a home for your pause.

And then do this...  Let me know how it goes.  Do this for a week.  or a day.. how did it feel.  Try it again tomorrow...

         Happy Pausing,
               Denise Frakes- life and home coach

6 ways to turn your New Year's Resolution into a successful habit!

 The average New Year's resolution lasts for just 18 days!!  18 days is just the beginning of a good love story.
 Unless we know the secret to keeping our resolutions and turning them into a love story. Those beautiful, passionate wishes and dreams we have for 2020 will be gone in 18 days.

Why do we fail and why are we afraid to even try?  We can blame our brains.  We are all creatures of habit.  Our brains are wired to create habits.  Habits help us go on automatic pilot, which conserves our energy.  We have super efficient brains.  It is our gift and like all gifts it can also become our Achilles' heel.

Once our brain decides our consistent actions are a habit- it will hold on for dear life.  Did you know most of our deep rooted habits are formed before we are 9 years old?  We learn by mirroring our family and those closest to us.  This is one of the main reasons family habits get passed from generation to generation.  We are wired to repeat.  That's the good new and bad new.  Great if you have beautiful healthy habits.  Bad news if your habits are less than awesome.

So what does this have to do with New Year's resolutions and the 18 day average?  Everything!!!  When we make a new years resolution we need to change habits.  Before we can add on a new habit we need to at least identify what habit we want to reduce or illuminate.  Real change is habit changing. Or substituting one action for another.

 Resolutions give us vision...but it's the daily actions that gives us results. 

Habits require:  Consistency, Persistency and Tender Loving Care

   Research says the average habit takes 66 days to become a habit.  A more complicated habit can take up to 254 days... and that is if the new habit is practiced with daily frequency and diligence.  If we don't take consistent care, in about 18 days our existing  habits will rise up and take their rightful space in our brains again.  This overrides our beautiful New Year's Resolutions and leaves them to wilt.

Think of Your new years habits as baby seeds.  Seeds need time to sprout, to grow roots to make it past the dirt and into sunshine.

6 tips to turn resolutions into totally doable habits that grow deep roots!

1.  Make you new goal a tiny daily action.  Doable- everyday in any weather.  I know want big changes... the best way to get there is through habits.  Start with a habit that is so simple and small An action you can do everyday not matter what...even on those days when you run out of time, have company show up, it's raining, you have a cold...life happens.  On the great days, you can do more but the key to a habit is persistence, frequency and consistency.  Doing a little bit every day. 1 mile or 15 minutes of walking, Unplugging from social media at 9pm...

2.  Tag it with an existing habit.  What do you already do everyday?  Add your habit to that habit.  Your brain wont complain.  It's like adding a chicken to the hen house at night.  You already have the space and time...Your brain likes that.

3.  Use time habits.  Time is consistent. We are habitual about what we do at certain times of the day.  Add your new habit to your morning, when you get home from work, before you settle in and watch TV, turn on the computer each night, before bed...add in your new healthy habit.

4.  Give it an ending date.   Instead of telling your brain.  "You have to do this the rest of your life..."  Say "I'm going to try this for 66 days and then see how we are doing."  At the end of 66 days you can make a intentional decision to adjust your habit, stop it or continue... Giving yourself an out, reduces stress. Staying with your new habit past 66 days gives you time to nourish a habit and see how it is impacting your life...  (1000 days of continual action moves you to becoming a master...)

5.  Give it a home.  By having a consisting time of day or a place in your schedule, you give your new habit a home.  We need to create space for what is truly important. Everything and everyone feels better when there is a nourishing home to go to.  Habits are the same way.  Create a cozy home for your friend.

6  Build one habit at a time.  Habits need care and focus.  It's better to fully develop one true habit than watch a huge dream wash away again this year.  Instead of one big new years resolution, change a habit a month, or 6 this year or one per season. In a month or two you can start up a another new habit... It's better to slowly create sustainable life changing habits over an entire year- than have one big dream loose footing in 18 days.

One little change can start a domino effect of many changes.  By cultivating habits we use our brains to help us create change.  If you want to learn more... one of my favorite resources and inspirations for this blog was Tom Corely's book:  Change your habits, Change your life.  It's an easy read that packs a big punch...kind of like habits.

Start here:  Look at your wishes, dreams, new year's resolutions or even the word or intention of the year.  Look at a habit you might want to reduce.... or a habit you can add.  (habit- daily persistent action) Apply your resolution habit... to the one or more of the 6 tips and turn your wishes into habits.

Let me know what and how your are doing!  Having support is good for habits and goals... we are over 65% more likely to achieve our goals with support.  I love being a coach!!

Happy New Year and New Decade!!
          Denise- home and life coach

FYI:  If you click here to buy Tom's book.  I got set up as an affiliate of Amazon this year so I can add income to support this blog.  If you want to support me, please by the book through the link, hire me to speak at your events or as your own personal coach.  Thank you and happy habit creating...

What do Comfort zones, Butterflies and Clutter have in common?

My sister and I were talking the other day about comfort zones. Our conclusion, you have to be comfortable to actually be in a comfort zone.  If you are dreaming of change, then technically you are not in a comfort zone!!  Think of clutter as an uncomfortable and muddling comfort zone.  A butterfly stuck in a cocoon.

Have you ever watched a caterpillar turn into a butterfly?  My Aunt Velma was a scientist at heart. Her back yard was one big science experiment. When I would visit, she would bring me to the back yard and show me butterfly cocoons.  We would check on the cocoons everyday watching caterpillars become butterflies. 

 The purpose of clutter clearing isn't just reducing your stuff. Hardly!  Clutter clearing is the uplift of your life.  The exploration of your spirit.  It's pulling weeds and pruning branches. It's making space to plant.  It's unsticking your brain from its ruts. It is spreading your wings and transforming. It's the discovery of what kind of butterfly you are.

 Clutter clearing is a metamorphosis of mind, body and spirit.

  Transformation is getting out of your comfort zone, your cocoon.  

Why go to the trouble of clearing clutter and changing your life?  

Because the payoff is... you get to fly, wear beautiful colors and children squeal with delight when they see you.  That's why.

Intentionally transformation

 Percolate your curiosity

"... caterpillars are short, stubby and have no wings at all. Within the chrysalis the old body parts of the caterpillar are undergoing a remarkable transformation,called 'metamorphosis,' to become the beautiful parts that make up the butterfly that will emerge."  

                                                 The Butterfly Site

Autumn begins a season change.
We know we need to clean out from summer and prepare ourselves for winter.
 Leaves are falling.  The season is shifting.
Expand your wings

     Take 1 hour this week and unclutter a pile that needs un-cocooned!
          I'll be with you all the way,
                Denise

Don't let summer pass you by...

 When I started this summer's mastermind workshops, my thought was to create space to accomplish one major summer project.  And it still is... uncluttering our paper, downsizing our stuff, writing that book, painting your house, visiting Italy...  A project that come autumn, your future self will say thank you!

However...,
in the process of creating space to work, I was called to add in play.  Summer isn't summer without play, exploration, outside, freedom to be, watermelon and long summer nights.  If we forget this, then come winter, our spirits will baulk.

So I added in the summer bucket list, 10 simple pleasures of summer.  Actions requiring very little time, energy, finances or thought.  Little things like- eating a hot dog at a ball game, trying a new flavor of ice-cream, going on a walking road trip to no where, exploration of summer. Things you would do when life was simple and your imagination and curiosity were big.

You do know,  I never ask anything of you I'm not willing to do myself.  So this summer while I'm focusing on my one project, I'm also checking off my summer bucket list.  So far I have eaten 4 different kinds of hot dogs (I haven't got the right bite yet so still in quest), gone on daily micro road trips and tried 3 different kinds of ice-cream.  I have added in more dance, road trips on foot and beauty.

 My whimsical bucket list...is turning out to be the driving force and inspiration to my project and life.

By focusing on curiosity- what do I love to do in the summer?  I'm creating time and space to play, to discover.  Adventures and ideas are showing up.  My brain is working differently. I feel lighter.

We have 4 more mastermind workshops this summer.  Next one is July 23rd.  Let your joy muscles start percolating and your pride of accomplishment grow.  Everyone should take this class.  We can't forget our joy as we go about living. And big projects are best done in bite sized chunks.

Our summer workshops and taking summer two weeks at a time- play and progress.

Summer bucket list... Do you have one?

Do you have a bucket list?  I didn't until this summer.
You all know I'm a huge fan of simplicity, clearing out clutter and stuck energy.  Over the past 10 plus years, what I've come to know for sure is uncluttering is only 1/2 the equation.  The other 1/2 comes in discovering and intentionally creating.

 Creating a life we thrive in, that delights our spirits.  A life we love.  A life that gives light to others.  Getting rid of our stuff unsticks our lives, clears our minds and revives our spirits.

Clutter Clearing is powerful work on all realms: spiritually, mentally, physically, emotionally, financially and environmentally. Once we clear the way, our lives start to flow.  We gain energy. We can do more and share more of our natural gifts with others.

However,  if we only work, our internal kid will feel robbed.  Summer is a balance of both work and play.  We need to time to weed, unclutter, simplify and un-procrastinate our lives, and time to play, hang with friends, travel, explore and be free.

 Our inner 10 year old's are wise.  Yes, we should get a good project in and set the groundwork for the rest of the year.  And we should play, be free to do nothing and explore the summer- our own way.

This summer I challenge you to create a summer bucket of the simplest, most delightful activates your 10 year old you would pick.    Think less- spontaneous adventures you could do on an very tiny 10 year old allowance. Be creative!!!

 Denise's summer bucket list 2019 
1. eat a cheap hot dog- the soft ball park kind
2. have a tea party
3. go on a walking road trip through a town or city
4. listen to music, outside on a warm night with Dallas (my hubby)
5. sit around a camp fire
6. eat a new flavor of ice cream
7. sleep outside
8. have a party
9. go to the movies
10. go on a spontaneous and delightful adventure
11. sit still and shoot the breeze with family and friends, with absolutely no rush to finish...watch clouds go by as we sit...maybe have tea... or a beer
12. play catch

Do this now:
   Get out a pen and paper and create your own bucket list.  There is no right or wrong here.  You can add to it as you get inspired.  Post it and start checking off.  Don't spend much time thinking, if something more delightful pops up- do it and then add it to your list.

Share your list with us below!   Or Click here and post your list to my Facebook page

 Join me this summer in my mastermind workshops.
As of this blog posting we have 5 more meetings. Next meeting is July 9th- click here for details

Master Mind Uncluttering and Delight Workshops

  1.  Get support, motivation to complete a project you need to do, such getting rid of your paper clutter, your stuffed closets, muddled boxes or cleaning our your unruly garage... one project done at a time with a team
  2.  Make your own summer bucket list start checking off your fun.  Ignite you spirit, cultivate simple delights

Quiet time- holiday life saver

My mom taught me a life enriching practice when I was little.
At the time she was a young wife, with 3 young kids.  I imagine she was feeling overwhelmed. To save her sanity my mom instilled what came to be known as quiet time.   After lunch, we all had to be quiet for 1 hour. My older brothers and I could pretty much could do anything we wanted, if we were quiet.  The only rules were: be quiet, stay inside and be safe. We didn't have to nap or do anything specific.   We were free to play and be.

My mom tells me, that first summer, we all balked at quiet time, but the next summer we asked for it.  Beyond, saving my mom's sanity, she says we were all happier and more at ease.  There was less bickering and irritable kids.

I'm all grown up and then some and yet I still crave quiet time.  Time to wonder, ponder, play, nap, run, sit and just be.  As we head into the holidays, you might like to add quiet time, the freedom to do nothing into your day too.  I usually give myself quiet time, first thing in the morning when the house is quiet and day hasn't got legs.

From our family to yours, may your holidays be happy, healthy and easy

                     Denise

 

Prune your chores = Increased Happiness

Cooking, cleaning, shopping, errands etc... our chores will expand in our lives until we start pruning. Without a bit of clutter clearing our freedom is squished and smashed.  Our chores and habits are closely related they silently and quietly move into our lives talking up our time and energy until we are exhausted and bogged down by life..

    The laws of money say your expenses will match and exceed your income unless you create intentional boundaries and awareness to stop the over spending.    The same is true of our chores.  Our in boxes, to do lists and daily chores can become time clutter.   Our lists of daily, weekly  and seasonal responsibilities needs periodic pruning.  Before the holidays appear, downsize your chores, giving yourself breathing room to play and celebrate.

Downsizing- deleting-delegating chores = Increased happiness

This week I came across a study... How buying time promotes happiness  The study tested the hypothesis of how spending money on material goods would compare to spending money on activities that saved time on our chores.  It turns our we are significantly happier spending money on saving time on our chores than on new stuff.

5 tips to Pruning your Autumn Chores

 Start slashing, cutting and simplifying your chores- get your knife sharp and mind clear 

    1)  Become aware...Pay attention to what you are doing each day- how much time and energy you spend on chores??

    2)  Unclutter your self imposed work!  How have your chores expanded over time?

            How many grocery stores do you go to each week?

            Do you have more stuff to dust around.

            Can your meals be simplified?  Can you use fewer dishes?

    3)  Delegate!  Hire! Buy!  Sometimes all you have to do is ask for help.

             Other times you might want to hire out.  A housecleaner, an decluttering coach, dinner out

                Help to the rescue!!  Get help!!!!!  Lighten your load!!

     4)  Simplify! Simplify! Simplify!
              Cook less but bigger batches,  Eat simply, enjoy left overs

              Downsize your possessions- less is more free time

              Shop less, shop fewer places, shop with a clear list

     5)  Just do it- Decide to reduce!   Open up your creative juices to see how many "required" chores can be simplified, downsized, reduced and deleted!

  This last quarter of 2019 sets the stage for next year.  Start by following our seasonal cues.  Let go of your leaves, let plants die away, harvest and prune your chores.  Less is more in our lives.  We don't need to go on vacation for freedom.  Freedom can be found everyday of our lives.  Breathing space is a gift it is the best gift you can ever give yourself and those you love.  Chores are there to support us in our lives...we were not created to mark off our daily chore lists

As always, I wish you great joy in your daily travels,

              Denise Frakes
    Personal and home coach... at your service

Are your New Year resolutions starting to fade?

What do you love so deeply that you would be willing to dedicate 1000 days toward its growth? 

About this time of the year our New Year's resolutions start losing their zest.  If we aren't careful by next December they will become a regret.

Life gets cluttered.  Before we know it, the quiet clarity we felt in January gets blurry from the bright lights and endless requests of life.

Take a minute to be quiet- very still.  Go back to the vision you had when you passionately wanted to create change in your life.  How did you feel?  Do you still want that change?  How will you feel next December if it doesn't happen?

Are you still hungry for that vision to become a reality? If the answer is yes....

1.  Look at your goal- break it into bite sized pieces, next steps to take.  Work in two week segments on your bite sized pieces.  Always be moving on the next step.

2.  Get an accountability buddy or hire a coach to support you and help keep you focused, excited and moving forward.

3.  Make sure your goals are clear. Work on one goal at a time.  It is better to master one life changing goal than to chase 100 chickens around the barnyard.

4.  Goals are like baby plants.  They need extra TLC until they have deep roots.

As always I wish you happy and joyful travels on your path.  If you find you need a walking friend to keep you moving forward... give me a call.  253-815-0446

Best Storage Idea for 2018

Is there such a season as storage season?  In the new year, most every store is promoting their storage containers sales. After the holidays we have lots more stuff.  We also have a natural instinct to rebalance and create space for the new year.   The simple solutions are to improve our organization and buy more storage containers right??  hmmmm

It is time to reconsider this holiday storage season and instead turn it in to the as the season to unclutter, downsize and simplify our lives season.

The easiest way to organize your home is to downsize its belongings.  Reducing instead of storing will make your new year lighter, clearer, freer and happier.  Organization is a snap when you are only organizing a few things.  The things you use, you love and that supports your life.

Think about it... do you want 2018 to be the year you improve your storage containers or the year you let go, simplify and set yourself free?  Tough choice right?

The beginning of the year brings hopes and dreams to the surface.  Don't stuff them into a box, a bin or a tub!

Wishing you happiness and freedom in 2018,
            Denise

The Practice of Forgivness

 Leave the weight of the world in December by practicing forgiveness 

 Before the new year starts- let go of the weight you carry with you.

The following is an ancient forgiveness practice called Ho'Oponopono

 This prayer or practice is simple, powerful and healing. It clears and releases you and who/what you direct it toward.  Say it quietly or out loud.  

I started using this practice about a month ago.  It has since become one of my favorite clearing mantras for releasing life's residues.  I especially like it to use toward family, pets and myself. It works especially well when I feel anxiety, regret, guilt or helpless. 

Anyway you use it seems to work. 

Play with it.  Be consistent.  Use it in unexpected places and ways  

Try it for 21 days and let me know what you discover

Please forgive me

I'm sorry

Thank you

I love you

We are all imperfect- it is a human condition. 

Wishing you happy holidays
May we all find peace by giving peace
 Denise

Chocolate the wonder food...

Chocolate!  I love chocolate.  My family loves chocolate.  Chocolate is my go to food when I need a pick me up, nourishing, TLC, a satisfying treat, a warm cup of love.... plus chocolate is so good for you.  It has massive antioxidants and it is even skin nourishing.  It's a wonder food!

I eat or drink chocolate most everyday.  In the winter, holiday months nothing soothes the soul better than a big old mug of hot chocolate.... If you are reading this blog, we are probably kindred spirits

What I'm about to share with you may feel disturbing... but I must share.  The other day, my hubby returned from our naturopath with a suggested strategy for food intolerance. I read it and paused....

" Consider the foods you love or crave as well as those foods you frequently eat, especially foods that you eat as a pick-me up when you are low in energy or out of sorts..."   hummmmmm  heavy sigh 

 

It took me a couple days of pondering before I decided.  For the season between Thanksgiving and Epiphany day (January 6th), I'm giving up my beloved chocolate as an experiment.   How will I feel during the darkest months, the holidays, the season of desert abundance, of friends and family giving you baskets and trays of chocolate, the season of snuggling under a big blanket, drinking hot chocolate and reading a book???  WOW 

While emptying my big mugs from our dishwashing, this morning, I realized hot cocoa is chocolate!  Oh dear- did I really think this through??  Yes Denise, a deal is a deal!

 I quickly texted my sister- who totally gets the challenge of no chocolate- she immediately replied with three options to hot chocolate- bless you Tara!  My hubby offered two more- thank you Dallas. whew!

   
When you let go and try new paths your creativity flows, you get out of your habits and life becomes more interesting.  When your "go to plan" is not longer available, you pop out of your rut and create a new trails.  Chocolate is a little rut- Ok maybe a big rut. Shifting your life with simple changes can bring big beautiful blessings.  

If you have a go to food or drink, consider putting it on hold during the holiday season.  Experiment, see how you feel, travel new roads with food.  You don't have to do it forever- just play.

   Please share your discoveries with us in the comments below- thanks!

            Happy holidays, to you all.  May the season of gratitude blend beautifully throughout the season.

                 Denise

This is the link a great foodie site my sister sent as options to my hot cocoa drought .   Great foodie site!  Thanks Tara - my brain is feeling healthier by the minute...

    Warm Spiced Carob Milk