Never Fret on a Friday, Worry on a Wednesday...

 

Never fret on a Friday.  Never Worry on a Wednesday.  If you going to have a tantrum…for heavens sakes don’t do it on a Tuesday.  Don’t over think on a Thursday, sit around on a Saturday or spend too much time moping on a Monday.  Sundays are better suited for savoring than stressing.

I started thinking about this on a Friday.  I was fretting.  I haven’t a clue what I was fretting on.  But at that moment, it dawned on me that Fridays are not great days for fretting.  Then I got to thinking…when is a good day to fret? Is there a good day to fret?  As I scrolled through the days, it was clear…most days or not created for productive fretting, except maybe a Monday.  It seems Mondays are the day for a bit of moping.  However, make it short and sweet. Mondays are also rich for music, movement, moments of mystery, magic and mindfulness.  Too much moping on a Monday can waste a perfectly lovely day.

Fridays are the day to finish up and then have fun.  Why would you waste a good Friday by fretting when you could be creating art, loving and playing?  Fridays are perfect for finishing up and living brightly.

Don’t over think on a Thursday.  Looping thoughts, too many thoughts, too deep of thought are best saved for another day.  Be creative on Thursdays.  Luck shines brightly on Thursdays.  Take a leap of faith and jump.

Don’t worry on a Wednesday.  It’s the day to begin.   Start new projects on Wednesday.  Begin your new habits, write, and call a friend. Wiggling is fine for Wednesdays, especially if it comes with a tune.

Never have a tantrum on Tuesdays.   If you have inner venom circling around, redirect it.  Don’t spit it on others.  Wash your car, go for a walk, find a safe outlet. Your words have an extra bite that goes straight to the heart on Tuesdays.

Do not sit around on a Saturday.  Stand up, shake off the muck, smile and get started.  Saturday focus carries a special kind of satisfying. 

Never stress on a Sunday. Let the sunshine and nature wash away tension.  Relax, savor. Do it outside, study in the sun, nap in the shade.  Stir a pot of stew slowly.  Sip a cup of tea on the porch with friends.

So.... if you must mope, fret or worry, do it on a Monday.  Wallow if you must, but remember too much wallowing can dehydrate you, so drink a lot of water.

The next time, you find yourself fretting, worrying, snapping...pause and check your day.  Be mindful about when and what you do.😊

Denise Frakes- Life and Home Coach

grandma's tea cup collection

 Sunday's, I don't set my alarm.  When I wake up, I wake up.  No to do list is waiting.  And every Sunday when I'm home...I find myself wandering into a little project.  This morning was cleaning teacups.  My grandma Ella had a big collection of teacup.  Grandpa had made her 8 tea cup cabinets to hang on their walls.  Each held 9 teacups.  When she passed my sister and I were gifted her collection.  

At the time, I wasn't having tea parties.  Frilly, fancy teacups weren't really my thing.  As much as I love my grandma, I didn't really want a giant collection of teacups.  I didn't even like pink or fancy dishes.

Of course, growing up, I didn't like broccoli, asparagus, brussels sprouts, or beets either.  Everyday you lose cells and gain new cells.  Every 7 years we become new people.

A few weeks ago, I cleaned out, organized, rebooted and downsized all my dishes, my grandma dishes, good dishes, tea cups everything you would find in a china cabinet.  Which is funny because, I also never wanted a china closet and yet somehow, I had enough good dishes and such to fill a china closet.  90% of which were gifted to me or wandered into my life. 

Over the years, I fell in love with tea parties and vegetables.  A friend of mine endeared me to the art of tea.  Sitting, enjoying a cup of tea during a work pause or after work satisfaction.  Maybe I learned to love tea parties by reading about Wabi Sabi, or going to Iona, or from my aunt Darlean.  Or maybe I've always be destined to love tea parties.  I'm a slow bloomer. 

Like the dishes I didn't buy, tea parties wandered into my life.  I didn't search them out, and yet they found me anyway.

This morning, as I was washing my tea cup collection.  (My own collection whittled down to 9 tea cups with saucers.)  I was wondering.  As many tea cups as my grandma had did she ever have tea?  Did she use her tea cups as tea cups?  I never saw her have tea.  And yet, as much as she like collecting tea cups, I can't remember one time her using those tea cups.  Maybe she used them when I wasn't there.  My hunch is, she loved collecting tea cups and making cookies, pies and the most amazing sticky pecan rolls.  But the actual tea party...I don't know.

Now I find myself falling in love with tea parties, tiny bites.   Moments you savor slowly, absorbing the moment as well as the food and tea.  Tea served in a tiny cup feels special.  Deliberate, better?  I'm awake.  Mugs of hot tea go well with books, afghans and afternoons.  Teacups, are used awake-present.

I know my grandma loved her tea collection.  Going to garage sales, on day trips, finding a teacup calling her name.  Having the means to buy something beautiful just for the sake of beauty- was a gift to her.  She grew up very poor.  Her china closet was more than just dishes.  

I understood why she loved teacups.  This morning as I was washing each tiny plate, little cup, I was present. I was so present.  This is what a tea party means to me.  Savoring a moment.  Being fully present and tasting life.  Pausing from my own life to slow down, slow way down and simply sip, or taste a bite a tasty bite.  Tea parties, even tea for one, when served on tiny plates and little teacups with a special treat...makes me... happy. 

With a tiny tea cup you take tiny sips.  You hold your posture a little straighter.  The table set just so.  It's a tiny moment in life. It is special.  Tea parties are special moments.

Thank you, grandma, for my tea collection that took a long time to be appreciated.

If you have a teacup collection.  Dust them off.  Wash them.  Take them out of the cupboard.  Brew a bit of tea.  Make a tiny treat.  Sit up straight, breathe slow and deep - satisfying breaths.  Invite a friend over.  Tea parties don't have to be fancy.  Little peanut butter and jelly sandwiches do just fine.

               Denise

I have an update to this tea party... Yesterday, my mom and I got into a conversation about sewing machines and tea parties.  I gave away my sewing machine this summer.  On paper, I should love to sew. My mom is an amazing seamstress, so is my step mom. I'm not. I'd rather be doing pretty much anything but sewing.  To be fair, I love to sew straight lines, go buy material and fantasize about all the things I could create...but that's as far as it goes.  I was telling my mom I was loving tea parties.  She told me something I don't think I realized.  Denise you have always loved tea parties.  She would know, she is my mom.  Thinking about it, I can't imagine a time that I would turn away a tea party.

Sit still and be interesting

"When I run after what I think I want, my days are a furnace of stress and anxiety.

If I sit in my own place of patience, what I need flows to me and without pain.

From this I understand that what I want also wants me, is looking for me and attracting me."

Rumi

 When I was a kid, my job (self imposed) was to help tame our baby calves and barn kittens.  It didn't take long to learn that if I chased them...they ran.  It was when I got still, sat and did something interesting that they would come to me.   When I think of Rumi's words, I know it to be true.  Denise stop chasing, sit still, be interesting and wait for my little friends to come visit me.

    Just a thought, when you feel like you should "go after"  your dreams.

                                                    Denise

Why I'm getting up at 5:30am during this quarantine

Why am I getting up at 5:30am, during this quarantine?

 Waking up early is like putting on my own oxygen mask.  You've heard the saying in the airline safety announcement... "put your oxygen mask on first".

 At first when we got asked to stay home, I went into speed drive.  Then I relaxed my normal schedule and started sleeping in.  But an interesting thing happened...my stress when up, my confidence went down. 

So I shifted my own plan.  I don't really like getting out of my nice warm bed any more than you do... but waking up early, drinking hot water and then going for a run or walk starts my day beautiful.  Since I returned to my early wake up and early morning nature... my anxiety and stress have dropped by at least 80%!  That's significant!!!!

What's the law of physics?  Things in motion tend to stay in motion...Things at rest tend to stay at rest?  It's the same for routines and rhythms.
           

Start off well...end well. 

 Start off muddled = end muddled

You may or may not need to wake up early, get am fresh air and keep a clean house... This works for me.  Find your own rhythm.  What works for you.  Maybe you do better with a great night time routine.  Listen to yourself.  Our actions have cause and effects.  This is especially when we are under stress.  The greater the stress the higher the need for better self care.

When I'm on vacation..I can sleep in and eat more junk..apparently but not during a world stress event.  Nope, now I need to wake up early, be at my best and put my oxygen mask on first...

Because the healthier, more confident, vibrant we are.. the better we will be at problem solving, resilience, compassion and supporting others.  This is true for all of us.  

My rules of thumb...

              When I wake up I get up and wash my face

               I go outside...listen, see beauty, smell the flowers and fresh air

               I reach out to others

               Tidy up my home

               Eat healthy...not crap.. drink water

               Relax before I go to sleep

I know it's hard out there.  We are all stressed.  Be kind to yourself.  Practice kind habits.

 I'm here for you!!  

                        Denise

Hope from 1869 & 2020

A poem by an Irish woman after the plague devastated Ireland in 1869

And the people stayed home.

And read books,

and listened,

and rested,

and exercised,

and made art,

and played games,

and learned new ways of being,

   and were still.

And listened more deeply.

Some meditated,

some prayed,

some danced.

Some met their shadows.

And the people began to think differently.

And the people healed.

And, in the absence of people

   Living in ignorant, dangerous, mindless and heartless ways,

the earth began to heal.

And when the danger passed,

and the people joined together again,

they grieved their losses,

and made new choices,

and dreamed new images,

and created new ways to live and heal the earth fully, as they had been healed.

                                            Kathleen O’Meara or Irene Vella

Originally, I believed this poem to have been written in 1869.  Later my friend who sent this to me, corrected her earlier post. She discovered this poem was a current poem written by an Italian journalist Irene Vella and translated by Kathleen O’Meara.

I want to give credit where credit is warranted…  And yet, when I thought this poem was written by a woman in 1869, I felt such an uplifted vision, a feeling of renewal after winter.  So, as you read this poem…pretend these words were written from a wise soul who came through a similar storm. Because it was and because eventually this storm too will pass.  We will come back out and we will be changed.  How we change will be up to us.

One of my favorite quotes ever is:
   “Never fear the storm, that’s where all the energy is.”
                          Unknown

Be well, be safe, be kind
     from my home to yours,
                  Denise

Becoming the solution...acts of kindness given

I loved the movie Fantastic Fungi.  It's amazing, how fungus has this huge interconnecting network underground.  If one tree in the forest is struggling, this underground network will send nutrients and energy to the tree in need.  We need to be more like fungus.

How we feel and what we think does affect those around us.

With this virus, we are traveling on a path with a more bends and rocks than normal  We are asking our guides and leaders to already know this path. They don't. They may not even know the right questions to ask...yet.  But they will and we will.  In the mean time, it's time to lift us all up.

I propose this: Pay it forward.  Each day take 1 minute, 10 minutes, 1 hour whatever you can do. Meditate with uplifting emotions.  See scenarios where we are all thriving.  Send nutrients to our fellow trees. Believe and send kindness and support to those around us.  Send TLC to our neighbors near and far, to our family members now in isolation for protection, send it to anyone and everyone you feel called.  Send faith to places it needs to go.

During that minute, feel how you want to feel.  How you want our leaders, families, communities and businesses to feel. Picture solid solutions, thriving communities, happy families, wise leaders making brilliant decisions.  If you hold a lot of anger or fear, then focus on something or someone you love that puts you in a a place of kindness and strength.  The key is for us to project a future where we are healthy, happy and thriving.  Include our neighbors, community, cities, states and fellow countries.

 Just because you are a world leader, public health official, doctor, or even a blogger and life coach... doesn't make you immune to stress.  Helping others, will help our own stress drop.  Sending kind thoughts to those around us has a bigger impact than we realize.

If you have been following my past blogs, you know my take on happiness.  When we are healthy, confident we make better decisions, we are more creative and better problem solvers.  We need to support our leaders and community to feel this way.  The better our brains work the easier it will be for us to move through this path.  Want more info on happiness?  The science of happiness

The benefits of this daily meditation/prayer will be felt by you as those you send it out to.  Which will in turn help our own ability to process in a higher level.

        Our brains work better when we are confident.  Let's help those around us feel this way too.
                                    Denise

Epiphany Season Starts Now!

Epiphany:  A moment of sudden revelation or insights…  a manifestation of a divine or supernatural being… the festival commemorating the Epiphany on January 6^th  (Seri definition)

This is our Penny Kitty

Epiphany day was introduced to be by my aunt Darlene. I love the idea of a whole day for just for Epiphanies.

How I celebrate 

Epiphany day: the day we get and celebrate Epiphanies 

This year I'm using the 12 days of Christmas as 12 delightful days to cultivate and create space for Epiphanies...and set in motion a beautiful 2020

Yes, I know I'm redefining the meaning of both the 12 Days of Christmas and Epiphany Day.  Can I do that?  Yes, I can. As far as I know there is no such thing as Holiday police.

 The secret to a great ending is a brilliant beginning.  That’s exactly what Epiphany season is... creating space for the new year...the new decade.

The season goes something like this… 

On the first day of Christmas …which is also Epiphany season, my true love gave to me…

             1 hour to play and a freshly cleaned out office storage cabinet...

On the second day of Christmas… which is also Epiphany season, my true love gave to me

              …...…?????...…   You get the gist

  How do you want to live in 2020?  

From Dec 26th to Jan 6th...

                    clean; clean out; discover; create space for 2020; to encourage Epiphanies …

                                          Pay attention…Epiphanies are quick and nibble                                          

      One more thing…have fun!  Epiphanies love delight.       

The more fun you have the more Epiphanies you'll attract.

                                       Happy Epiphany Season... it's magical
                                                                             Denise Frakes… Seasonal Epiphany Coach...

What day should you clean your house?

I have given this question a tremendous amount of thought... Seriously, odd amounts of ponderings. When I was a kid, my mom cleaned on Saturdays...which meant I cleaned on Saturdays.  Over the years I've tried cleaning on Saturdays- all times, Monday mornings, Tuesday afternoons, Sunday nights, hardly ever on Thursdays and Friday mornings.

I explore cleaning...it's a thing … My quest has been long and deep

Cleaning re-boots our lives and un-muddles our homes.  It creates a cozy, nourishing space to rest and play.  Cleaning is even one of the 7 essentials for a healthy home.  I can go on and on...you know I can.  I've written about cleaning on this blog for 10 years!  A kindly cleaned home is good for the soul.  This I get, no question there is value of what cleaning does for our lives.  But...

When do we clean???

The when of cleaning...here are my discoveries from a life of cleaning as a practice...

Cleaning needs space.  If I don't have a designated time and day to clean, cleaning gets put off and before I know it my house is muddled, dust bunnies run wild and I no longer have a cozy life.  Having a rhythm to this practice of cleaning- creates a natural ease in your life.  Cleaning needs space- consistent time just for cleaning...putting your life back in order.

 Early Friday morning is my favorite time.

    Each day of the week has a natural energy to it.  It's like what farmers do when they plant with the moon's rhythms.   There is a time to grow, to weed, to plant and a time to rest. The days of the week have a similar feel.  Friday's has the energy of completion for the week, love and art.  This is the perfect energy for cleaning.  I get my home in order and I use cleaning as a lovely practice of love and artistic play.  Super early Fridays morning is my absolutely my preferred space for home TLC

 When I need my creativity to be ignited.  

   Cleaning jump starts my brain for writing and creating.  If I want to write about cleaning, or give a talk on clutter, the best way to dig in is to start with cleaning. We get ideas when we shower, go on walks, cook etc.  By getting out of our brain and into methodical physical movement, our brains relax and our creativity gets a kick start. Cleaning cleans my brain.

 When I'm stressed, feeling ungrounded or don't know where to start... I clean.

    Cleaning is the great de-stressor.  Having my home in order makes me feel like my life is in order... When my home is messy...it's usually a sign my life is going in too many directions.  Cleaning brings me back to center and relaxes my nervous system.  When my thoughts are muddled, I organize my books and paper.  I use cleaning as productive therapy.

For 2 hours. 

   Like all things, cleaning will take up whatever time I give it.  I like two hours.  By cleaning in a designated 2 hour block, my mind will stay clear and focused.  I will get whatever needs done- done.  And here is the bonus...by only giving myself 2 hours to clean, I focus more on prevention during the week so when I do clean I have less to do.  Be firm with yourself- set a time boundary for your cleaning and then be super focused and present when you do clean.  (shut off distractions)

 

After and before... 
   After a big project or event, cleaning re-grounds me and re-boots my space.  After a trip, work project, party... my home and life need to be cleaned up and put away before I move on.  On the opposite side, I clean before I begin a project or have an event.  I did extra cleaning before we had thanksgiving at our house.  This type of cleaning is more like a project and event related vs weekly maintenance.  Having a clean home helps you welcome people into your home---with less stress.

Did that help?  Here is the thing.  Cleaning is a gift or it is a burden.  It supports you or depletes you.  How you do your work has more to do with your attitude, habits and wisdom than it does the actual work.  It is what we say it is.

Happy cleaning,
          Denise... traveler of life chores and dust bunnies

Quiet time- holiday life saver

My mom taught me a life enriching practice when I was little.
At the time she was a young wife, with 3 young kids.  I imagine she was feeling overwhelmed. To save her sanity my mom instilled what came to be known as quiet time.   After lunch, we all had to be quiet for 1 hour. My older brothers and I could pretty much could do anything we wanted, if we were quiet.  The only rules were: be quiet, stay inside and be safe. We didn't have to nap or do anything specific.   We were free to play and be.

My mom tells me, that first summer, we all balked at quiet time, but the next summer we asked for it.  Beyond, saving my mom's sanity, she says we were all happier and more at ease.  There was less bickering and irritable kids.

I'm all grown up and then some and yet I still crave quiet time.  Time to wonder, ponder, play, nap, run, sit and just be.  As we head into the holidays, you might like to add quiet time, the freedom to do nothing into your day too.  I usually give myself quiet time, first thing in the morning when the house is quiet and day hasn't got legs.

From our family to yours, may your holidays be happy, healthy and easy

                     Denise

 

Best Storage Idea for 2018

Is there such a season as storage season?  In the new year, most every store is promoting their storage containers sales. After the holidays we have lots more stuff.  We also have a natural instinct to rebalance and create space for the new year.   The simple solutions are to improve our organization and buy more storage containers right??  hmmmm

It is time to reconsider this holiday storage season and instead turn it in to the as the season to unclutter, downsize and simplify our lives season.

The easiest way to organize your home is to downsize its belongings.  Reducing instead of storing will make your new year lighter, clearer, freer and happier.  Organization is a snap when you are only organizing a few things.  The things you use, you love and that supports your life.

Think about it... do you want 2018 to be the year you improve your storage containers or the year you let go, simplify and set yourself free?  Tough choice right?

The beginning of the year brings hopes and dreams to the surface.  Don't stuff them into a box, a bin or a tub!

Wishing you happiness and freedom in 2018,
            Denise

The Practice of Forgivness

 Leave the weight of the world in December by practicing forgiveness 

 Before the new year starts- let go of the weight you carry with you.

The following is an ancient forgiveness practice called Ho'Oponopono

 This prayer or practice is simple, powerful and healing. It clears and releases you and who/what you direct it toward.  Say it quietly or out loud.  

I started using this practice about a month ago.  It has since become one of my favorite clearing mantras for releasing life's residues.  I especially like it to use toward family, pets and myself. It works especially well when I feel anxiety, regret, guilt or helpless. 

Anyway you use it seems to work. 

Play with it.  Be consistent.  Use it in unexpected places and ways  

Try it for 21 days and let me know what you discover

Please forgive me

I'm sorry

Thank you

I love you

We are all imperfect- it is a human condition. 

Wishing you happy holidays
May we all find peace by giving peace
 Denise

Chocolate the wonder food...

Chocolate!  I love chocolate.  My family loves chocolate.  Chocolate is my go to food when I need a pick me up, nourishing, TLC, a satisfying treat, a warm cup of love.... plus chocolate is so good for you.  It has massive antioxidants and it is even skin nourishing.  It's a wonder food!

I eat or drink chocolate most everyday.  In the winter, holiday months nothing soothes the soul better than a big old mug of hot chocolate.... If you are reading this blog, we are probably kindred spirits

What I'm about to share with you may feel disturbing... but I must share.  The other day, my hubby returned from our naturopath with a suggested strategy for food intolerance. I read it and paused....

" Consider the foods you love or crave as well as those foods you frequently eat, especially foods that you eat as a pick-me up when you are low in energy or out of sorts..."   hummmmmm  heavy sigh 

 

It took me a couple days of pondering before I decided.  For the season between Thanksgiving and Epiphany day (January 6th), I'm giving up my beloved chocolate as an experiment.   How will I feel during the darkest months, the holidays, the season of desert abundance, of friends and family giving you baskets and trays of chocolate, the season of snuggling under a big blanket, drinking hot chocolate and reading a book???  WOW 

While emptying my big mugs from our dishwashing, this morning, I realized hot cocoa is chocolate!  Oh dear- did I really think this through??  Yes Denise, a deal is a deal!

 I quickly texted my sister- who totally gets the challenge of no chocolate- she immediately replied with three options to hot chocolate- bless you Tara!  My hubby offered two more- thank you Dallas. whew!

   
When you let go and try new paths your creativity flows, you get out of your habits and life becomes more interesting.  When your "go to plan" is not longer available, you pop out of your rut and create a new trails.  Chocolate is a little rut- Ok maybe a big rut. Shifting your life with simple changes can bring big beautiful blessings.  

If you have a go to food or drink, consider putting it on hold during the holiday season.  Experiment, see how you feel, travel new roads with food.  You don't have to do it forever- just play.

   Please share your discoveries with us in the comments below- thanks!

            Happy holidays, to you all.  May the season of gratitude blend beautifully throughout the season.

                 Denise

This is the link a great foodie site my sister sent as options to my hot cocoa drought .   Great foodie site!  Thanks Tara - my brain is feeling healthier by the minute...

    Warm Spiced Carob Milk

     

  

5 Tried, Tested and Wholeheartedly Approved Ways to Simplify Your Thanksgiving

A gift of celebrating Thanksgiving early is I get to share post Turkey day epiphanies before your Thanksgiving. I hold a local family party the 2nd Sat of November.  I’m not sure why I had so many epiphanies this thanksgiving, but they were popping up everywhere!

   Here are 5 tried, tested and wholeheartedly approved

 ways to simplify your thanksgiving...

1.  Pre Cook your Turkey the day before, debone and then put the meat in oven friendly containers  (debone the turkey while the bird is still warm.)  This step reduces three stressors:  Timing your turkey to be done perfectly and on time, the pressure of carving your turkey and then deboning your turkey when you are done eating. Another option would be to go vegetarian for a shift.

2.   Create a Thanksgiving potluck.  Everyone gets to be part of the celebration, sharing traditions and discoveries.  Plus, you get to try and eat new foods with no effort!

3.  Let go of time sensitive dishes, you know the ones: Turkey, mashed potatoes and gravy.  This year I didn't make mashed potatoes or gravy and our turkey was already cooked and deboned!  I realized how much stress it was trying to be a hostess while  finishing up last minute dishes.  I was way more relaxed and got to visit more.

4.  Make dishes you will love as leftovers.  Food that will give you energy and not wear you down.  Food that you will actually eat.  I know this seems obvious but it will keep you healthier with no food waste!  I like simple, colorful, veggie strong dishes.

5.  Make time for your TLC in the am.  Before my house filled up, I went for a run/walk.  Even with all my simplification I was still feeling a bit anxious.  Let's be real, I don't usually have 20 people for lunch.  As I ran, my stress lightened and lessened.  When I got lighter, I remembered gratitude.  I then spent the rest of my run being thankful for my family, for their willingness to give up a Saturday and travel to celebrate with us all.  I returned home grateful, refreshed and ready for the day.

And there you have it... 5 tried, tested and wholeheartedly approved ways to simplify your Thanksgiving.

     May you and yours travel lightly, be lovingly received and well nourished.

                              Denise

Allert: Tight pants are detrimental to your happiness

I just got off the phone with a friend, she was having a bad day.  In our conversation, beyond the rough circumstances she is facing was a little tidbit about her wearing tight pants!  Bingo!

The other day I also wore tight pants so I know what I'm talking about.  You know, pants that cut you in the middle, constrict movement and make you feel fat!

Feel fat is the key word here.  Because I remember in high school I was tiny, a size one, no bigger than a pencil, athletic and fit...until I wore tight pants then I was none of those things.  And even though I knew, believed, and could see that I was not fat, when I wore pants that were too tight, I felt edgy, constricted, irritable, fat, frustrated and discouraged.  Nothing has changed. 

Today, I'm in pretty good shape but you put a tight pair of pants on me, watch out.  During the day, I'm 100% more likely to snip, growl and snort.  I will beat myself up for not being in better shape, review my diet and lifestyle over the past months and vow to eat better and run more. In reality, I  will more likely eat comfort food trying to sooth my jagged nerves.

As a bonus, tight pants put pressure on our backs, tighten up our hips causing an imbalance in our hips, weird out walking stride, constrict our breath and if that wasn't enough are prone to cause lower back pain.  Ha!

The solution... under no circumstance should you wear tight pants.  Take them off, put on pants that create flow, ease, and a sense of movement.  Wearing tight pants to remind yourself or encourage yourself to lose weight will backfire! 

When you are stressed you are not as happy, healthy, creative, prosperous, or resilient.  Tight pants cause stress!

We are going to have days that are less than stellar...do not compound it by sabotaging your health and happiness with tight pants.

OK, I'm done with my soap box moment.  No More Tight Pants... and you will instantly improve your days!
            Denise

Where cleaning is a game and mud puddles are for jumping in

Most people think because I clear clutter and owned a restoration cleaning company that I'm one of those super tidy, home always immaculate kind of gals....nope!  The thought does makes me smile though.

I don't care if you have dust bunnies or a full house. I do care if your eyes sparkle.  I care you live in a healthy space.  I care you are surrounded by that which gives you joy. I care that you feel loved and connected. I care there is space for you to thrive.  This is what I care about.

Perfect homes don't exist.  I love simple imperfect spaces.  I love homes that are unique, authentic, easy, effortless, funny, bright and full of fresh air.  I love families that love easily, love endlessly and love openly.

When I coach simplicity and de-cluttering,  I'm not looking for imperfections.  I'm looking for what gives you radiance and vibrancy.  I'm looking for those juicy parts of your life that need TLC.  I look to see you.  Sometimes we just need to clean off a bit of life's residue. The real you- your essence is always present.  The gift of what I do is to create space for you to breathe.

When I think of residue free living, I think of my niece.  At three years old, there isn't much life residue or clutter build up.  She thinks cleaning is a game, dandelions are beautiful and jumping in mud puddles fun.

wishing you inspired living, work and homes
                   Denise

         

Happiness from a moment of stillness- happy holidays!!

Happy holidays to everyone.  This morning I paused and gave myself time to be quite in the morning's darkness.  The only light on in the house was a single candle.  In the rush to live, sometimes I forget to be quiet and listen.  This time of year, I'm more drawn to be still than to shop.  A good friend of mine shared with me this beautiful poem by Rebecca Parker- thank you Nancy L!!!  Today, I'm passing on the favor...

May we all be happy in your busyness and your stillness,

       Denise

Winter Solstice

by Rebecca Parker

Perhaps for a moment the typewriters will stop clicking,

the wheels will stop rolling,

the computers will desist computing,

and a hush will fall over the city.

For an instant in the stillness,

the chiming of the celestial spheres will be heard

As earth hangs poised in the crystalline darkness

and then gracefully tilts.

Let this be a season when holiness is heard

and the splendor of living is revealed.

Stunned to the stillness by beauty

We remember who we are and why we are here.

There are inexplicable mysteries

We are not alone

In the Universe, there moves a Wild One 

Whose gestures alter earth’s axis toward love

In the immense darkness

everything spins with joy

The cosmos enfolds us

We are caught in a web of stars,

cradled in a swaying embrace,

rocked by the holy night,

babes of the universe.

Let this be a time we wake to life,

Life the spring wakes in the moment of winter solstice

The irony of cleaning and life

As you probably already know, January 5 of this year we sold the cleaning part of our business to DA Burns of Seattle.  After 25 years of being a professional cleaner-among other things-I'm now a retired cleaner.   Laughing hysterically!!  There is no such thing as a retired cleaner.  Every morning I get up and brush my teeth, take a shower, clean my clothes, wash dishes, clean house, clean out the car, clean out my files, clean out my to-do list and my in box.  Actually the only thing I have stopped when in comes to cleaning is getting paid to clean!!!  Now any cleaning I do is for free.  I'm a volunteer cleaner.

Does anyone besides me see the irony in this?

Tonight after cleaning out files all day, I cleaned my office.  After "stopping" my cleaning profession, I took a bit of a vacation from my normal everyday cleaning.  After all, I'm done cleaning, right?  If only!!!!  Life goes on and someone forgot to tell the dust bunnies I don't clean anymore.

Here is the thing.  Cleaning is good for the soul.  No matter how much you would love to give away your to-do list of cleaning.  Cleaning makes your life feel better.  It freshen up your space and therefore it freshens up your spirit.  Cleaning brings clarity to your life and helps life make sense.

For most of my life cleaning seems to have followed me around.  No matter how hard I have tried to ignore her, forget about her, turn my back on her and even despise her, she is always there for me.  She is forever gently prodding me and offering me her wisdom.

As a girl on the farm, cleaning was on the very bottom of the totem pole.  It was the last thing I wanted to do when there were fences to build and cows to feed.   But somehow almost magically, I became a professional cleaner.  Can you imagine that?  Now after 25 years as a professional cleaner I have officially given up cleaning as my profession.   And yet as I put thoughts to paper, it is pretty clear, cleaning is going to continue to be part of my life.

As I write this I remember when my grandma Lois was in her 90's, she told me "Denise, when it comes to cleaning, you might as well make the best of your time because it isn't going anywhere".

Now that I don't get paid to actually clean, maybe I can become a cleaning philosopher?  A cleaning writer.  Maybe a writer that tells good clean jokes!!  I don't know, but I'm guessing my life as a cleaner is not complete, I am not retired.  I just moved my stuff around so I could look at cleaning from yet another angle.

From my cleaning closet to yours, I wish your path of life's little chores to be one of friendship and not dread.
   Denise

Cultivating an ancient practice to reset your energy system

Cultivating an ancient practice, even the words have a restorative ring.  When my computer or cell phone go nuts, I unplug wait 60 seconds and try again.  99 percent of the time this does the trick.  So simple and yet so effective.

Our grandmothers and grandfathers didn't have cell phones or computers but they did know how to reset.  Their daily work was unplugging the charge.  The ancient practice was doing their daily work.

Washing dishes, cleaning windows, cleaning out drawers, pulling weeds, chopping wood, these chores are where our ancestors found their center, de-stressed and rebooted.

Yesterday I cleaned out two rooms and I cleaned my home.  Today, as I look around I feel refreshed, centered and restored.  I can't imagine anything doing more than a free day of cleaning and cleaning out can do.

I cleaned out and organized and as I did I lightened the weight I carry around.  Later I chopped down some baby poplar trees, I accomplished and felt strong.  I cleaned toilets, vacuumed floors and washed windows.  Today, I can see clearly and breath deeply.  As I cleaned I unplugged.

When you need a reset, keep it simple.  Everything you need you already have.  What you are looking for is not out there but with you all along.  Think simply. What is in front of you?  What needs done?  What has been weighing heavily on you lately?  Start with 30 minutes- stay focused. Open windows get some fresh air and light into your life.  Move right to left to right and top to bottom. Move mindfully and breathe deeply.  Let go of what no longer serves you.  Stay present and get lost in the moment.  Move with strong posture and relaxed shoulders.  Enjoy your work, for this is not a chore but an ancient practice of unplugging.

Happy cleaning and cleaning out,
        Denise

Finding summer in our reflection

  Back in 2003 I read book called:  If I knew then what I know now.  A reporter asks a 93 year old lady named Nadine Stair what she would do differently if she had her life to live over. Her words stuck a cord with me then and apparently still do.  I didn't keep the book but had kept her quote.

  This morning, her quote popped back into head.  Maybe it's the sunshine, the heat, my garden or just the new beginning of summer.  Whatever the reason, it really got me thinking about my own life and what I would like to do or not do this summer and beyond.   

  To clear clutter it's best to live with things and experiences that raise your energy and let go of things that deplete your energy.  I think Nadine's quote explains why very well.  So I'm going to write a list, "If I had my summers up until now to live over again"   Maybe you will want to make your own list and then go have a wonder-filled summer!! Happy travels!!!

Here is the original Quote from Nadine Stair on her 93rd birthday 

If I had my life to live over

I would dare to make more mistakes next time

I would relax

I would limber up

I would be sillier than I've been this time

I would take fewer things seriously, 

and I would take more chances

I'd take more trips

I'd climb more mountains and I'd swim more rivers.

I would eat more Ice cream and less beans

I would perhaps have more actual troubles, but I'd have fewer imaginary ones.

You see, I'm one of those people who lived sensibly and sanely, hour after hour and day after day

Oh, I've had my moments, but if I had to do it over again, I'd have more of them

If fact, I'd try to have nothing else- just moments-

 one after another, instead of living so many years ahead.

I've been one of those persons who never goes anywhere without a thermometer, a hot water bottle,

a rain coat and a parachute.

If I have my life to live over... 

I would start barefoot earlier in the spring and I would stay that way later in the fall.

I would go to more dances, 

I would ride more merry-go-rounds.

I would pick more daises"

Wishing us all all a summer filled with life and few regrets!!

       Denise

          

This is the book I found the Nadine's quote in originally:   If I Knew Then What I Know Now Mass Market Paperback – January 1, 1997 by Richard Edler

True Beauty

     In cleaning there are no amounts of chemicals you will ever add to your home that will make it healthy.   Cleaning is about the removal of soils, germs and life's residues. Cleaning is not about the addition of chemicals and neither is beauty - authentic beauty.  

    You will not find your beauty in a bottle- no matter how much it costs.  True beauty is more of a practice than a purchase.  It is about living to nourish your life.  It comes from deep breathing, honesty and play. True beauty comes with sparkly eyes, a bright smile and a creative spirit.  True beauty comes from within.

  When my grandma Ella was 92 she was in a nursing home.  She spent her days in a wheel chair and was legally blind- from macular degeneration.   She was wrinkly and old but she was absolutely beautiful.

    Maybe she couldn't see anymore but she could listen to the nurses tell of their children and lives.  She could try to memorize Martha Stewart recipes by heart in hopes of one day trying to recreate in her kitchen. As she sat she would ponder, wonder and mull over life with open curiosity and not from a place of judgment.  She was blind but her eyes sparkled with curiosity.  When she would try to remember something she would look up.  I always thought it looked like she was trying to mentally shake apples from the branch over her head as if they held the answer to her question.

    On paper, maybe it doesn't sound like she was beautiful but if you happened to spend an afternoon with her, you would have witnessed her radiance. She had an authentic and internal beauty that would make the models on the cover of vogue dull in comparison.

    Beauty- true beauty is a practice of loving others, unbridled curiosity and patience.  Finding beauty in yourself helps you to see the beauty in everyone.  Discovering the beauty in each person you meet helps you to see your own inner beauty.  And when you nurture this beauty, this spirit of yours, you can get away with the fraction of skin care products!!!

 As always wishing you a happy and healthy home,

                     Denise

"We are taught to look to "experts" for our answers, only to find out that they often have no real-life experience on the subject.  When all is said and done, change begins with you.  Strength, willpower, responsibility, commitment and integrity grow from within and blossom only under your direction."

                                             Amilya Antonetti

                                              Why David Hated Tuesdays