grandma's tea cup collection

 Sunday's, I don't set my alarm.  When I wake up, I wake up.  No to do list is waiting.  And every Sunday when I'm home...I find myself wandering into a little project.  This morning was cleaning teacups.  My grandma Ella had a big collection of teacup.  Grandpa had made her 8 tea cup cabinets to hang on their walls.  Each held 9 teacups.  When she passed my sister and I were gifted her collection.  

At the time, I wasn't having tea parties.  Frilly, fancy teacups weren't really my thing.  As much as I love my grandma, I didn't really want a giant collection of teacups.  I didn't even like pink or fancy dishes.

Of course, growing up, I didn't like broccoli, asparagus, brussels sprouts, or beets either.  Everyday you lose cells and gain new cells.  Every 7 years we become new people.

A few weeks ago, I cleaned out, organized, rebooted and downsized all my dishes, my grandma dishes, good dishes, tea cups everything you would find in a china cabinet.  Which is funny because, I also never wanted a china closet and yet somehow, I had enough good dishes and such to fill a china closet.  90% of which were gifted to me or wandered into my life. 

Over the years, I fell in love with tea parties and vegetables.  A friend of mine endeared me to the art of tea.  Sitting, enjoying a cup of tea during a work pause or after work satisfaction.  Maybe I learned to love tea parties by reading about Wabi Sabi, or going to Iona, or from my aunt Darlean.  Or maybe I've always be destined to love tea parties.  I'm a slow bloomer. 

Like the dishes I didn't buy, tea parties wandered into my life.  I didn't search them out, and yet they found me anyway.

This morning, as I was washing my tea cup collection.  (My own collection whittled down to 9 tea cups with saucers.)  I was wondering.  As many tea cups as my grandma had did she ever have tea?  Did she use her tea cups as tea cups?  I never saw her have tea.  And yet, as much as she like collecting tea cups, I can't remember one time her using those tea cups.  Maybe she used them when I wasn't there.  My hunch is, she loved collecting tea cups and making cookies, pies and the most amazing sticky pecan rolls.  But the actual tea party...I don't know.

Now I find myself falling in love with tea parties, tiny bites.   Moments you savor slowly, absorbing the moment as well as the food and tea.  Tea served in a tiny cup feels special.  Deliberate, better?  I'm awake.  Mugs of hot tea go well with books, afghans and afternoons.  Teacups, are used awake-present.

I know my grandma loved her tea collection.  Going to garage sales, on day trips, finding a teacup calling her name.  Having the means to buy something beautiful just for the sake of beauty- was a gift to her.  She grew up very poor.  Her china closet was more than just dishes.  

I understood why she loved teacups.  This morning as I was washing each tiny plate, little cup, I was present. I was so present.  This is what a tea party means to me.  Savoring a moment.  Being fully present and tasting life.  Pausing from my own life to slow down, slow way down and simply sip, or taste a bite a tasty bite.  Tea parties, even tea for one, when served on tiny plates and little teacups with a special treat...makes me... happy. 

With a tiny tea cup you take tiny sips.  You hold your posture a little straighter.  The table set just so.  It's a tiny moment in life. It is special.  Tea parties are special moments.

Thank you, grandma, for my tea collection that took a long time to be appreciated.

If you have a teacup collection.  Dust them off.  Wash them.  Take them out of the cupboard.  Brew a bit of tea.  Make a tiny treat.  Sit up straight, breathe slow and deep - satisfying breaths.  Invite a friend over.  Tea parties don't have to be fancy.  Little peanut butter and jelly sandwiches do just fine.

               Denise

I have an update to this tea party... Yesterday, my mom and I got into a conversation about sewing machines and tea parties.  I gave away my sewing machine this summer.  On paper, I should love to sew. My mom is an amazing seamstress, so is my step mom. I'm not. I'd rather be doing pretty much anything but sewing.  To be fair, I love to sew straight lines, go buy material and fantasize about all the things I could create...but that's as far as it goes.  I was telling my mom I was loving tea parties.  She told me something I don't think I realized.  Denise you have always loved tea parties.  She would know, she is my mom.  Thinking about it, I can't imagine a time that I would turn away a tea party.

Secrets of a happy farmer from 1913

July...comes around only once a year. I know it may seem like we are all on a race to the end of the year. In reality, we are in a circle. July is back, she circles around every year...this same time, same messages, same wisdom.

July rings summer more than any other month.

Are you pausing long enough to welcome her or him in? Give space to play, to pause to be! To eat hot dogs, lemonade and frozen ice cream on a stick? Am I?

We need to. Play, rest and just being are equally as important as goals, achievements and focus. They balance each other out.

July keeps us sane!

Question! What does summer mean to you? Do it! At least a little bit.

A note about Thomas Mitchell. The author of the following quote. As I was looking up a link for you, I found Thomas Mitchell wrote his essays in 1913. Prior to world war 1. I have even more awe for his timeless wisdom. Enjoy!

"One of the best secrets of a happy life is the art of extracting comfort and sweetness from every circumstance...

People are always looking for happiness at some future time and in some new thing, or some new set of circumstances, in possession of which they some day expect to find themselves.

But the fact is, if happiness is not found now, where we are, and as we are, there is little chance of it ever being found. There is a great deal more happiness around us day by day than we have the sense or power to seek and find.

If we are to cultivate the art of living, we should cultivate the art of extracting sweetness and comfort out of everything, as the bee goes from flower to flower in search of honey."

Thomas Mitchell, a farmer, on happiness:

Source: Essays on Life

shared by James Clear in his weekly newsletter

Simple and rich, the Velveteen Rabbit, hot Chocolate- Denise Style

 a dear friend introduced me to...  Thank you Nancy

The Velveteen Rabbit

You Become.  It takes a long time.

That’s why it doesn’t happen often to people who break easily or have sharp edges or need to be carefully kept.

Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been rubbed off and your eyes drop out and your get loose in your joints and very shabby.

But these things don’t matter at all. Because once you are Real, you can’t be ugly except to people who don’t understand.

                                                              By Margery Williams

 It's Sunday morning, I'm eating a can of sardines, a few radishes and drinking a cup of Denise style, hot chocolate.  Our home is quiet, except for the birds singing and sunshine streaming.

Life is not a rush, we are gifted with this moment.  A creative act of discovery.   To be happy with sardines, Sunday mornings, a place to be and do whatever your heart guides is blissful.

Filling a day with tomorrow or yesterday is where the real clutter comes from.  Our present is life moment by moment.

It takes grit and courage to let go of what we expect of ourselves and become who we are.  Take a day, a moment and wonder.  Sit by the sea. Write. Be Wild of Spirit by doing nothing or something.  Listen to your soul.

How you are is perfect.  Your flaws are what makes you unique. You are perfect, who you are, right now: beautiful, cracked, imperfectly genuine, Real. 

So what if you have boxes of clutter, weeds that need pulled and tubs of papers to be filed.  Take time to play in your boxes...and also take time to honor you and your creative wishes.

   As you age, you become richer in soul.  What the world thinks isn't as important as what you know.   And sometime what we know isn't accurate either.  If what you think of yourself isn't kind or loving then pretend you are speaking to a dear friend. A kindred spirit you treasure...all of her quirks and buckets of imperfections. Speak to yourself that way.  You are a gift...

Clutter, your home, your life...isn't who you are.  You are spectacular.  Creating a space where you are nourished, free and loved...is an act of love not a requirement to be a beautiful soul. 

   happy travels my friend,

                 Denise

Hot chocolate:  Denise Style

There is something soul nourishing in a cup of hot chocolate.  Maybe is was learned to connect hot chocolate with nourished and love.  My Dad always loved hot chocolate.  Sunday's are better when I make myself a cup.  However, processed cocoa mixes and sugar are not nourishing to my body...so I recreated an old friend to nourish both body and soul.

Hot water

Collagen powder(grass fed) ... some days I use vegan protein powder, or paleo protein powder...

Cocoa...plain

Coconut cream or plant based milk, or cream.  today I used a hazelnut, vegan creamer.

Powder organic super red (dried blend of berries, beets, carrots, fruits, veggies etc)  Sometimes I use extracts like orange or lemon or peppermint

If I need more sweet I add 100% pure monk fruit or stevia.  Today life seemed sweet enough.

Part of what I love about my hot chocolate  is the memories of my dad and Sunday mornings doing life simply and easy.  I lost my dad this spring.  He lives with me in Hot Chocolate and being easy with Sundays.  

Joy is like a muscle...a muscle that needs exercise

 "Joy is a Devine quality of our true self, which is inherently lighthearted, playful and free. You can see the full expression of this joy in young children who haven't learned to worry or take themselves too seriously.  They play and laugh freely, finding wonder in the smallest things. They are infinitely creative because they haven't yet build up the layers of conditioning that creates limitations and restrictions"          Deepak Chopra

Don't wait for joy to come.  Joy is a muscle.  If you want to get in joyful shape...you need to exercise your joy muscles.  Action is required.  Reading a book about joy or wishing for it doesn't do anything unless a little action is included.  Life is richer and way more fun, when joy is part of your daily workout. This is one reason I love clutter clearing as part of my coaching. When done correctly, Clutter clearing is a joyful act.  It creates a lighter home.  It's good for your spirit!  It is productive.  Creating a refreshed space, an authentic and nourishing space is an act of love.

I tell my clients all the time...this will be fun.  You should see the sideway glances I get. But it's true. I know it in my bones. I see it over an over again. I feel it.  Joyful work is good medicine.  And good medicine can be joyful work!

A little bit of exercise done consistently overtime...creates healthy bodies and joyful spirits.  It takes time to clean off life's residues and let your natural joy, your essence shine through.  This is a journey of discovery.  If you are cleaning out your home or igniting your joy..it is a process.  A delightful and awe inspiring journey.  One that when done consistently...even just a smidgen at a time...will give you blessings in buckets.

Today, add a splash of joy to your day.  Dance to a little music, sing a song, go outside and look for new discoveries, clean out one book shelf.  Send a note of gratitude to a friend.  Play hop scotch...throw ball.  Simple...yes!  Good for the soul?  You bet!  Dance a little dance...everyday...smile for no reason.  Watch a comedy...just play.  And then do it again tomorrow.  

                            Wishing you a joyful journey,

                                        Denise Frakes  Home and Life Coaching...joyfully done!

 

The Habit Poem...A year of tiny practices

"The first time you actually do it differently - whether you're delighted or disappointed in the results - you throw a pebble in the pond. The pebble sends out tiny, barely visible ripples of movement toward the center. No one else notices.....But one day, all those small but indelible moments of private courage will burst through. And both you an your world will have changed in an authentic moment."        Sarah Ban Breathnach Simple Abundance

 Greetings January!!

         When you are creating new years resolutions...  Think daily practices...they turn into habits...and habits create your life.   You can do this...one tiny practice at a time...one pebble, one day, one moment.

                         May you be persistent and consistent in your dreams,  Happy New Year!!

                                                                                                    Denise Frakes Home and Life Coach

The Habit Poem

I am your constant companion

I am your greatest helper or heaviest burden

I will push you onward or drag you down to failure

I am completely at your command

Half of the things you do, you might as well turn over to me 

and I will do them - quickly and correctly

I am easily managed- you must be firm with me

Show me exactly how you want something done

and after a few lessons I will do it automatically

I am the servant of great people

and alas, of all failure as well.

Those who are great, I have made great

Those who are failures, I have made failures

I am not a machine though

I work with the precision of a machine

plus the intelligence of a person

You may run me for profit or run me to ruin

it makes no difference to me

Take me, train me, be firm with me, and 

I will place the world at your feet

Be easy with me and I will destroy you.

Who am I?  I am Habit.

Author unknown

September Resolutions...authentic requests of the soul

 September Resolutions....make more sense than our traditional January resolutions.  Is it just me or do you too feel like you are already behind by the time your resolutions are made in Jan? Spring is right around the corner, you hit the new year running...even if your spirit and body want to hibernate. Is that anyway to begin anything?

  As September rolled in, I was once again drawn my Simple Abundance book.  I've had this book for years and yet, when it calls my name, it is timely and spot on.  If you have this book go to Sept 1st's entry.  Turning over a new leaf.  

   Sarah reminds us September has been the beginning not ending of the year since ancient times.  When did we change that?  Traditionally, September was the time for reflection, atonement and pausing to look at our lives.  What do we do? What have we done? What are we called to do?

  "What we need in autumn is an emotional or spiritual shot in the arm."  Katharine Elizabeth Fite wrote in Good Housekeeping in 1949, urging the beginning of a new tradition for women: personal and positive resolutions in September. "Why do you suppose so many of us waste the autumn? Why don't we make the effort that would provide something new in our lives?"  January's negative resolutions "are made when we are worn out in spirit, body, and pocketbook, and have no real urge to do anything but rest."

   "It seems to me that January resolutions are about will; September resolutions are about authentic wants.  What do you want more or less of in your life, so that you can love the life you're leading?"

   "The beauty of autumnal resolutions is that no one else knows we're making them.  Autumnal resolutions don't require horns, confetti, and champagne.  September resolutions ask only that we be open to positive change."            September 1st Simple Abundance  Sarah Ban Breathnach.

   Sarah published Simple Abundance in 1995- 25 years ago.  Katharine Elizabeth Fite wrote about  September resolutions in 1949 - 71 years ago.  Wise advise is timeless! 

  September brings change in the seasons and weather...and with these changes we naturally have a desire to shift, to prepare for winter, to make big pots of soup and create cozy homes.  To clean out our homes, our garden and lives so the new year lands softly and not like a thud on our tired hearts.

   2020 and COVID, made resolutions and goals almost seem comical.  Most of our "plans and goals" got quarantined.  These kind of goals and resolutions are not what we are talking about.  This is the season to clean out, to prep, to let go of what doesn't feed us, to create space for authentic spiritual requests of mind, body and soul.  

I highly recommend taking a day, a hour, a breath in your September to go within and ask yourself.  What do you need to do this autumn to pave the way for a kind winter, a beautiful beginning to 2021?

We all know how much we can't control...but we are not helpless in this world.  By creating a vision and space for our spirit and authentic wants...just maybe we can create a simply abundant 2021.

   May your new year be sweet and inspired.  Now is the time to create your life...quietly,

              Denise Frakes

  

     

Moving Slow...builds strength

Last night I could barely walk...most likely I have plantar fasciitis.  Even though it's extremely painful.  I know it is also a less in listening.  As I'm laying in bed, not wanting to get out and step down..I started thinking. How I decide this injury to be will be what it becomes.  Just like cleaning.  Cleaning can be a chore, a practice, a struggle, a gift.  How I look at an object or activity gives me my own meaning.  What if this injury is a Divine gift?  What if it is catapults me forward in the right direction?  What if it is the answer to a prayer?

When I walk very slowly, take tiny steps, mindfully and with beautifully tall posture...my foot has some relief.  I can move.  While I'm moving slow in my own home, to the north of me, my beautiful sister...who just had her little boy Penrhyn, a couple weeks ago😊, is also moving slow.  A leg injury from giving birth.  There is no option for either of us but to move slow...and keep going forward.

In one of my favorite books, Born to Run, Christopher McDougal talks about a Japanese training style for long distance runners. They train first by learning to walk ultra slow.  I would guess this gives your body a wisdom of movement, of core strength, built not just by the big and powerful muscles but also by the tiny and essential micro muscles and fascia.  Of which I have probably overruled most of my life. Overruled and ignored so I can move fast, while my mind over thinks and my body presses on. 

Choosing to shift my thinking from being injured to a new form of training shifts my emotions.  This shift my seem insignificant.  1 degree in another direction changes everything.  The shift is enormous.  Instead of fear, frustration and despair, I'm instantly transported in to curious, learning and exploration.  I'm in training.

My injury is ripe with a real world metaphor.  The tiny muscles of our body...can be over powered for a while but not forever.  Imbalance happen and when imbalance happens, our body/communities/country will at some point adjust. When ignored,the re-alignment is painful and untimely.   There is a natural flow of the universe...to come back to balance. 

Yesterday on my way home from a run, I was busy texting and calling people... I was far from present.  I pride myself in being present and loving my runs and nature...but I ran past my body talking to me, She tried to get me to listen...I ignored her.  This is what I have to say for myself

I'm sorry, please forgive me

Thank you, I love you

I'm listening

This Hawaiian prayer can be used for anything.  Today it is for my foot, our country, my spirit and those in the world I have ignored.  I thank Christopher McDougall for sharing this ancient practice of training ultra slow, to remind me that slow and mindful is not moving backwards but a legitimate way of moving forward. Life, when done fully present, builds a balanced and healthy foundation of both the tiny muscles and the large ones.  

May your journey be kind and wise...even when moving slowly.

            Denise

Rebooting our Immune System

Good morning, It's early Sat morning as I writing you.  How are you doing this morning?  We are in some strange and stressful times.  How are you managing all this?  I've found I have days of feeling super confident and powerful which will be followed by a day of wondering and low energy.  I know this is normal, it is stress showing up.  We all have stress.  The stress level of our entire world has exponentially increased.

Yesterday I was reading one of my favorite books.  Born to Run- if you follow me, you know I'm a huge fan of journeys. exploration, nature, human nature and running... this book has it all in spades.  It's about modern day ultra athletes and an ancient running people the Tarahumara.  On page 37 they are talking about a group of Tarahumara who started living the modern life...with it came foods they had "rarely eaten - soda, chocolate, rice, sugar, butter, flower.  They developed a taste for starch and treats.....that was twenty years ago. "Now, there are no runners in Yerbabuena."  What I know for sure...Food is Medicine.  Food can also be a thief.  Poor food choices steal our health.

This passage struck a cord with me.  I've been giving myself more than normal treats, comfort foods, baked goods, chocolate, butter... rich foods.  My body doesn't work as well on these foods. My brain gets foggy.  My immune system isn't as powerful.  I know eating has a tremendous impact of my own vitality.  I've known this for years.  Just because we know something doesn't mean we always are perfect- hardly. 

 Nutrition and stress are directly linked.  Up your nutrition...your stress decreases...lower your nutrition...your stress will increase.

I run a pretty clean personal health ship because I like to feel good.  When I'm stressed, I up my self care...which includes nourishing foods. foods that reduce my own stress.  Lately I'm feeling signs of high stress... I'm more emotional, fuzzy brained, up's and downs in my energy, lowered decision making... that's my body, mind and spirit talking to me.  I'm listening...

I invite you to join me.  For the next two weeks, I'll be upping self care and lowering things I know drop my vitality, focus and immunity.  Two weeks isn't very long. It's doable.  I know from experience rebooting my vitality is priceless.- it is essential.  

Why I'm getting up at 5:30am during this quarantine

Why am I getting up at 5:30am, during this quarantine?

 Waking up early is like putting on my own oxygen mask.  You've heard the saying in the airline safety announcement... "put your oxygen mask on first".

 At first when we got asked to stay home, I went into speed drive.  Then I relaxed my normal schedule and started sleeping in.  But an interesting thing happened...my stress when up, my confidence went down. 

So I shifted my own plan.  I don't really like getting out of my nice warm bed any more than you do... but waking up early, drinking hot water and then going for a run or walk starts my day beautiful.  Since I returned to my early wake up and early morning nature... my anxiety and stress have dropped by at least 80%!  That's significant!!!!

What's the law of physics?  Things in motion tend to stay in motion...Things at rest tend to stay at rest?  It's the same for routines and rhythms.
           

Start off well...end well. 

 Start off muddled = end muddled

You may or may not need to wake up early, get am fresh air and keep a clean house... This works for me.  Find your own rhythm.  What works for you.  Maybe you do better with a great night time routine.  Listen to yourself.  Our actions have cause and effects.  This is especially when we are under stress.  The greater the stress the higher the need for better self care.

When I'm on vacation..I can sleep in and eat more junk..apparently but not during a world stress event.  Nope, now I need to wake up early, be at my best and put my oxygen mask on first...

Because the healthier, more confident, vibrant we are.. the better we will be at problem solving, resilience, compassion and supporting others.  This is true for all of us.  

My rules of thumb...

              When I wake up I get up and wash my face

               I go outside...listen, see beauty, smell the flowers and fresh air

               I reach out to others

               Tidy up my home

               Eat healthy...not crap.. drink water

               Relax before I go to sleep

I know it's hard out there.  We are all stressed.  Be kind to yourself.  Practice kind habits.

 I'm here for you!!  

                        Denise

Wabi-Sabi and Virtual Concerts...beauty is very much alive and well

"Beauty can be coaxed out of ugliness. 

 Wabi-Sabi is ambivalent about separating beauty from non-beauty or ugliness...

Wabi-Sabi suggests that beauty is a dynamic event that occurs between you and something else.  

Beauty can spontaneously occur at any moment 

given the proper circumstances, context, or point of view.  

Beauty is thus an altered state of consciousness, 

an extradition moment of poetry and grace."  

                                                                          Leonard Koren
                                                     Wabi-Sabi for artists, designers, poets and philosophers

In the midst of COVID-19.. there are beautiful things happening.  We are thinking differently, coming together in ways that were thought impossible just a month ago.
  

Virtual concerts are one of those ways...

This is from the Berklee College of Music...

I know it's scary and hard out there.  We are all shaken out of our normal, our of our ruts, our habits.  We will get through this, and in the process we get to expand what is possible.

                  "Beauty can be coaxed out of ugliness"  Leonard Koren

                                          Denise Frakes
                                                Home and Life Coach...at your service

                   

Morning pre-shot routine

 "You have to remember that a pre-shot routines main purpose is a calming effect. Approaching your shots in the same fashion for each swing lets your mind go on autopilot. Repeating your routine each time helps you repeat your swing each time. This is particularly true when the pressure is on".  Frank Mantua Golf Professional

How I start my morning tends to carry through my day.   Have you ever played golf?  I'm always amazed how much better I play when I visualize my shots and have an effective pre-shot routine.

Since December 1st, I've been intentionally practicing my morning pre-shot routines. As I type, I'm in the middle of morning's pre-shot routine.  Today is day 69 of this practice.

I was listening to Mel Robin's audiobook, the 5 second rule.  She talks a lot about sleep and what happens if you hit the snooze button.  How if you wake up, hit snooze and go back to sleep, our bodies go back into another sleep cycle.  If we wake up before that sleep cycle is up, we can be groggy for another 4 hours!  Plus, our brain works better for the first 2-3 hours of the day.  This wasn't hard sell. I've know, if I wake up slowly...my brain is groggy. Days I wake up groggy are not as easy.

That's what started this morning practice...that plus I needed to get some extra writing done for a client. I was feeling anxious about when I could write... so I started creating a nourishing pre-shot routine to my day... A morning routine that supports my happiness, health, gives me a home to write and create my day.

new sprouts in winter

As I type it is 6:09 in the morning.  My face is washed, teeth are brushed, I've got a nice warm cup of hot water sitting by me.  And here I am typing away.

When I help families downsize and create cozy lovely rich and nourishing spaces, we usually need to start creating homes for their most used and beloved things.  Everything feels better when it has a home- a place to be.  The same goes for our goals, our happiness our health... If you want to live happy- create a home for what you treasure the most.  For me, I know I'm a better human when my morning starts nourishing, unrushed, creative.  When I have space and time to do morning movement, yoga, radiance exercises, quiet time to settle my thoughts, plan my day, to meditate, pray etc.

 My morning pre-shot routine is predictable. Although, I am mindful to keep asking questions and noticing how it's going and how I feel the rest of the day.  I'm creating a habit, a pre-shot routine to my day.

My morning routine is space for me to breathe. I don't start my day rushing or slamming a cup of coffee...I start the day kindly and with beautiful intentions.

 I've noticed my happiness is easier on mornings when I set the intentions of my day.  My relationships feeling more nourishing and connected.  I'm a better listener.  I've absolutely done more writing.  Sometimes, like today I'll pop in a write a blog or work on an article...most days I write for myself.

Your pre-shot routine will look different than mine but I whole heartedly recommend you start one.

 The basics are this...

    When you wake up- get up.  I usually start by brushing my teeth, stretching a bit and washing my face with cold water... this wakes me up.  Then I make myself a nice big warm cup of water...sometimes with lemon.
    Secondly, honor and nourish the first 2-3 hours of the day as the most productive time for doing what matters the most.  This is time for my healthy, my spirit. Time to prep my day, work on my current projects, and write.  I'm very mindful of what I put in this time....it's sacred time.

    Like all good journey's it takes time to see what happened from the practice of a nourishing routine....I try not to judge the results.  I have faith in the process of creating space and home for love to flourish.  Practices like this is transform your life.

It takes time for plants to grow roots and bloom.

please note, I got set up this year as an amazon affiliate- meaning if you buy from a link I give I earn income.  Thank you

Don't let summer pass you by...

 When I started this summer's mastermind workshops, my thought was to create space to accomplish one major summer project.  And it still is... uncluttering our paper, downsizing our stuff, writing that book, painting your house, visiting Italy...  A project that come autumn, your future self will say thank you!

However...,
in the process of creating space to work, I was called to add in play.  Summer isn't summer without play, exploration, outside, freedom to be, watermelon and long summer nights.  If we forget this, then come winter, our spirits will baulk.

So I added in the summer bucket list, 10 simple pleasures of summer.  Actions requiring very little time, energy, finances or thought.  Little things like- eating a hot dog at a ball game, trying a new flavor of ice-cream, going on a walking road trip to no where, exploration of summer. Things you would do when life was simple and your imagination and curiosity were big.

You do know,  I never ask anything of you I'm not willing to do myself.  So this summer while I'm focusing on my one project, I'm also checking off my summer bucket list.  So far I have eaten 4 different kinds of hot dogs (I haven't got the right bite yet so still in quest), gone on daily micro road trips and tried 3 different kinds of ice-cream.  I have added in more dance, road trips on foot and beauty.

 My whimsical bucket list...is turning out to be the driving force and inspiration to my project and life.

By focusing on curiosity- what do I love to do in the summer?  I'm creating time and space to play, to discover.  Adventures and ideas are showing up.  My brain is working differently. I feel lighter.

We have 4 more mastermind workshops this summer.  Next one is July 23rd.  Let your joy muscles start percolating and your pride of accomplishment grow.  Everyone should take this class.  We can't forget our joy as we go about living. And big projects are best done in bite sized chunks.

Our summer workshops and taking summer two weeks at a time- play and progress.

Summer bucket list... Do you have one?

Do you have a bucket list?  I didn't until this summer.
You all know I'm a huge fan of simplicity, clearing out clutter and stuck energy.  Over the past 10 plus years, what I've come to know for sure is uncluttering is only 1/2 the equation.  The other 1/2 comes in discovering and intentionally creating.

 Creating a life we thrive in, that delights our spirits.  A life we love.  A life that gives light to others.  Getting rid of our stuff unsticks our lives, clears our minds and revives our spirits.

Clutter Clearing is powerful work on all realms: spiritually, mentally, physically, emotionally, financially and environmentally. Once we clear the way, our lives start to flow.  We gain energy. We can do more and share more of our natural gifts with others.

However,  if we only work, our internal kid will feel robbed.  Summer is a balance of both work and play.  We need to time to weed, unclutter, simplify and un-procrastinate our lives, and time to play, hang with friends, travel, explore and be free.

 Our inner 10 year old's are wise.  Yes, we should get a good project in and set the groundwork for the rest of the year.  And we should play, be free to do nothing and explore the summer- our own way.

This summer I challenge you to create a summer bucket of the simplest, most delightful activates your 10 year old you would pick.    Think less- spontaneous adventures you could do on an very tiny 10 year old allowance. Be creative!!!

 Denise's summer bucket list 2019 
1. eat a cheap hot dog- the soft ball park kind
2. have a tea party
3. go on a walking road trip through a town or city
4. listen to music, outside on a warm night with Dallas (my hubby)
5. sit around a camp fire
6. eat a new flavor of ice cream
7. sleep outside
8. have a party
9. go to the movies
10. go on a spontaneous and delightful adventure
11. sit still and shoot the breeze with family and friends, with absolutely no rush to finish...watch clouds go by as we sit...maybe have tea... or a beer
12. play catch

Do this now:
   Get out a pen and paper and create your own bucket list.  There is no right or wrong here.  You can add to it as you get inspired.  Post it and start checking off.  Don't spend much time thinking, if something more delightful pops up- do it and then add it to your list.

Share your list with us below!   Or Click here and post your list to my Facebook page

 Join me this summer in my mastermind workshops.
As of this blog posting we have 5 more meetings. Next meeting is July 9th- click here for details

Master Mind Uncluttering and Delight Workshops

  1.  Get support, motivation to complete a project you need to do, such getting rid of your paper clutter, your stuffed closets, muddled boxes or cleaning our your unruly garage... one project done at a time with a team
  2.  Make your own summer bucket list start checking off your fun.  Ignite you spirit, cultivate simple delights

Habits are like compound interest

If you want to be happier this year focus on your habits.  Create a clear and beautiful vision of your future.  Then create habits to support that vision.  Small simple actions towards your goals...consistently and persistently done.  Pick one action....do it everyday...see how it transforms over time.  Like compound interest- tiny and consistent actions become powerful habits.

 Habits are like compound interest.  At first it doesn't seem like much

The easiest way to add a new habit is to hook it up with an already established habit. A Trigger habit:  A task or activity you already have to do and have been doing long enough that it is habitual.  Such as waking up, washing dishes, riding in the car, eating or even washing your face.  Our simple daily activities are a gold mine when it comes to creating a natural space and rhythm to nourish a new habit.

You want to have more energy?  Improve your breath.  Everytime you engage in a household chore, start with taking 5 long slow deep breaths.  Stand tall, smile and relax your shoulders, come back to present for 5 breathes or even 5 minutes.   As you vacuum, as you wash dishes, as you shop, as you clean...  you practice breathing.  This tiny practice becomes fertile ground to uplift your life.

Home care is a rich space to create new habits and up shift deeply imbedded unhealthy habits.

       Goals need legs to survive.  Cultivate your dreams and vision in your habits

Denise Coach and Trainer:  Home life and work at your service

First Thoughts and traveling Ideas

 When you are awakened or waken with an inspired thought- pay attention.  This may be a little thought wanting to have a voice.  It probably isn't your voice but a wise idea wanting to get legs.  It is testing the waters... will she/he listen or are they still asleep?

Elizabeth Gilbert talks about a Muse in her book: Big Magic. I love her thoughts on inspiration.  Inspiration isn't ours, it is little traveling ideas in search of a host. Ideas travel around looking for a kindly soul to help carry their messages to the world.  Creative genius is not our own brilliance, it is the wisdom and awareness of being a good listener.

When you have an inspired idea- Listen.  Take a moment and thank it for visiting.  This idea might be an idea for you or you may want to let it pass to another.  Not all thoughts that travel are ours for the taking you know.

The more open and receptive we are, the more thoughts will pop in.  It is an honor to be gifted with ideas.   It can also be a bit too much.  Not all thoughts are good matches for us.  Sometimes we don't have the energy to help it along.  Life is a choice.  Be thoughtful in how many ideas you are playing with and holding space for.

A few good "ideas" in caring for theses traveling thoughts:
 First and most importantly, pause your mind chatter and listen
 Always acknowledge these little traveling ideas, say thank you
 Welcome ideas and thoughts in for future visits.

A few days ago I had an early morning thought. I knew it was one I wanted play with and give space to grow.  I told myself through sleepy thoughts "Denise remember this in the morning".  And so I did. I love traveling thoughts.  My world is enriched by such thoughts.

Wishing you happy travels in your life today,
           Denise
home and life coach at your service

Unjudge your cleaning - home and life

While you clean- be nice to yourself and to those around you

When in doubt...sit

Today, I was faced with a decision.  I couldn't come up with a clear answer and it was making my stomach turn.  I laid down for a 20 minute nap and when I woke up I had my answer: be still.

We have many opportunities and options in our great country.  We are blessed with abundance and with abundance comes choices. More is not always better. There is an ease to having fewer options.  Your mind can relax.  It becomes more creative with less.

This is our Penny kitty.  She understands stillness. 

I help people let go of the "too much" world.  I am not immune to this world.  Maybe I don't collect things but it is easy to collect ideas, tasks, opportunities, possibilities.
Tonight before I toddle off to bed I wanted to share my thoughts with you.

If you can't decide- don't.  Become very still and listen
Before going forward clean
      clean out your projects, your procrastinations, your unfinished beginnings
By going back and cleaning up, you gain insights into where you want to go.
By becoming still, you ground yourself, your breath deepens as does your internal wisdom

These are my thoughts before I sleep.  July is a good month to clean out and breathe.
          Denise

Running on auto pilot? Look at your habits.

This morning I woke up, the birds were singing, my house was still asleep.  Well, except for Penny kitty who was trying to convince me she needed a snack before breakfast. She lives for food- funny girl.
I grabbed my running shoes, camera and out I went.  I do this sometimes but not as much as my mind, body and spirit would like.  Why is that?  Why do we spend time on things that don't give us energy instead of things that do?  What do we fill our days with and why?

According to Tom Corley in his book Change your habits, change your life.  "An average of 40 percent of all daily human activities are habits... Habits include both physical and mental behaviors.  These daily habits unconsciously control our lives... the blueprint of our life and the lives of our children are determined by daily habits.  That's how important habits are.  If you want to change your life you must change your daily habits."

40% of our days are on auto pilot! No wonder!  Our habits could be anything: What we eat,  how we handle stress, if we exercise, how we clean our houses, and even how and if you play...  the list is long and rich.

Do you/we even know what our habits are?  It is unlikely, most of our habits are unconscious actions- habitual actions.  Tom goes on to say most of our habits are formed when we are kids.  Our habit are our normal- our family normal.

Habits are what makes us drive the same route everyday- they save our brain work and conserve our brain's fuel for more important things.  Fortunately and unfortunately once an action is a habit we have to deliberately, consciously and persistently take another action in order to shift a habit.  

This is why goals are so important.  They give our brains a place to set our sites on and then create intentional actions to create a path to get there.  If we are persistent, consistent and wise in our goal actions these actions will become habits that will keep us on our desired paths.

What does that have to do with me getting out of bed and putting my shoes on? What does it have to do with time clutter? This morning I walked and I pondered my own habits and wondered do they serve or deplete? By going off road this morning, I took a step towards shifting a habit.  A new way of moving, it felt good.

There are times in our lives when being on auto pilot saves our sanity.  Putting one foot in front of the other and letting our habits, chores and daily requirements give us a familiar rhythm and direction when it is too painful or exhausting to think.  

  And yet there are times, like this morning when you have the energy and desire to go off road and explore your life on a new path.  Letting that spark of curiosity override your habit of normal.  This is where we differ from robots, we become fully present and alive.  Engaged.  This is the space you'll want to cultivate.

If you need to be on auto pilot right now, then put one foot in front of the other, breathe and keep moving.  But if you are wishing for another path.  Go off road today.  Chart a new path.  Put your spirit in 4 wheel drive and hit the gas.  Set a vision and go.

Wishing you happy, inspired and nourished habits

    Denise Frakes

        Coach for you and your home

A few of my favorite things:
    Tom's book on habits is a eye opener.  If you would like to read it- click here to go directly to Amazon and order Change your habits, change your life by Tom Corley.  Thanks for supporting my writing and inspired thoughts.  Life is too short to let our unconscious habits run the show.

Try This:  Pay attention to how you spend your time.  How do you feel?  What are you craving?  Time to play, sunshine, writing, naps?  Best place to start is in curiosity. Want to change your life?  Change your habits.

Stay young with a Wild Spirit

Keep your wild spirit healthy  We all have wild spirits- they are timeless.  When I talk on clutter or cleaning or Mondays or food or chores, I'm thinking of our wild spirits. How do we let go of what diminishes and muddles our beautiful wild spirits?  How do we wake up refreshed, look in the mirror and see shining eyes smiling back?  How do we cultivate spontaneous laughter, serendipity and wonder? ...

Last night before I dozing off I read one of my favorite passages from John O'Donohue's Anam Cara book of Celtic Wisdom.  This morning I sprung out of bed - inspired.  What lights up your wild spirit????  (Thank you Gretchen and Leslie for sharing with me Anam Cara and Iona)

The Passionate Heart Never Ages 

Page 187-188 Anam Cara by John O'Donohue

"I know some very old people who have hearts full of roguery, devilment and fun; there is a sparkle in their presence.  When you meet them, you have a sense of light, lightness and gaiety. 

 Sometimes in very old bodies there are incredibly young wild souls looking out at you.  It is so invigorating to meet a wild old person who has remained faithful to their wild life force.

  Meister Eckhart said that, too, in a more formal way:  There is a place in the soul that is eternal.  He says time makes you old, but that there is a place in the soul that time cannot touch.  It is a lovely thing to know this about yourself. 

 Even though time will inscribe your face, weaken your limbs, make your movements slower and finally empty your life, nevertheless there is a still a place in your spirit that time can never get near.  You are as young as you feel.

If you begin to feel the warmth of your soul, there will be a youthfulness in you that no one will ever be able to take away from you.

Put more formally, this is a way of inhabiting the eternal side of your life.

It would be sad on your one journey through life to miss out on this eternal presence around you and within you."

I get it, life comes with chores, irksomes and residue.  The secret to life, why I coach and my own passion, is to keep on cleaning off life's residues, to minimize the clutter in your life, your monkey mind's chatter.   Nourishing a space, creating time and energy to keep our beautiful, wild, spirits alive and well... no matter what what our age.

As always, wishing you happy travels on your journey,
     Denise Frakes
       Home and Personal Coach.... for a nourishing space and healthy spirit

Uncluttered: A place to rest - space to breathe

I have an amazing friend who is a quilting genius.  She looks at quilting not as a hobby but as a form of art.  An expression of what she sees and loves in this world.  The other day we were looking at one of her quilts. She explained the solid color between the blocks and round the border is to give your eye's a place to rest.  hmmm.

Our lives are like quilts,  There needs to be a place for our bodies, minds and spirits to rest.  If our schedules are too full, our houses and lives filled with too much we feel heavy and tight.  We can't breathe, we can't rest, we smile less, our spirits get heavy.

By clearing your clutter, opening up your life for space to breathe, we relax. Our lives start to move and flow.  It is the space between the notes that creates music- same as quilts and same as our lives.

           As always, I wish you happy travels,
                          Denise