Coming out of our COVID cocoons

  We are richer with poetry, kindred spirits and traveling partners.  Trying to be perfect, is not as much fun as a gritty, imperfect and quirky authentic soul.  When she stepped out of her own shadow...delightful friends appeared.  It's time to start moving out of our COVID cocoons to discover who we have transformed into over the last year plus!

                        Denise... Happy traveling my friends.

What Happens

What happens when your soul

Begins to awaken

Your eyes and your heart

And the cells of your body

To the great journey of Love?

First there is wonderful laughter

And probably precious tears

And a hundred sweet promises

And those hectic vows

No one can ever keep.

But still the Beloved is delighted and amused

That you try to be a saint.

What happens when your soul begins to awake in this world

To your deep need to love and to serve Life?

O, the Beloved Will send you

Wonderful and Wild companions!

   Hafiz

Simple and rich, the Velveteen Rabbit, hot Chocolate- Denise Style

 a dear friend introduced me to...  Thank you Nancy

The Velveteen Rabbit

You Become.  It takes a long time.

That’s why it doesn’t happen often to people who break easily or have sharp edges or need to be carefully kept.

Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been rubbed off and your eyes drop out and your get loose in your joints and very shabby.

But these things don’t matter at all. Because once you are Real, you can’t be ugly except to people who don’t understand.

                                                              By Margery Williams

 It's Sunday morning, I'm eating a can of sardines, a few radishes and drinking a cup of Denise style, hot chocolate.  Our home is quiet, except for the birds singing and sunshine streaming.

Life is not a rush, we are gifted with this moment.  A creative act of discovery.   To be happy with sardines, Sunday mornings, a place to be and do whatever your heart guides is blissful.

Filling a day with tomorrow or yesterday is where the real clutter comes from.  Our present is life moment by moment.

It takes grit and courage to let go of what we expect of ourselves and become who we are.  Take a day, a moment and wonder.  Sit by the sea. Write. Be Wild of Spirit by doing nothing or something.  Listen to your soul.

How you are is perfect.  Your flaws are what makes you unique. You are perfect, who you are, right now: beautiful, cracked, imperfectly genuine, Real. 

So what if you have boxes of clutter, weeds that need pulled and tubs of papers to be filed.  Take time to play in your boxes...and also take time to honor you and your creative wishes.

   As you age, you become richer in soul.  What the world thinks isn't as important as what you know.   And sometime what we know isn't accurate either.  If what you think of yourself isn't kind or loving then pretend you are speaking to a dear friend. A kindred spirit you treasure...all of her quirks and buckets of imperfections. Speak to yourself that way.  You are a gift...

Clutter, your home, your life...isn't who you are.  You are spectacular.  Creating a space where you are nourished, free and loved...is an act of love not a requirement to be a beautiful soul. 

   happy travels my friend,

                 Denise

Hot chocolate:  Denise Style

There is something soul nourishing in a cup of hot chocolate.  Maybe is was learned to connect hot chocolate with nourished and love.  My Dad always loved hot chocolate.  Sunday's are better when I make myself a cup.  However, processed cocoa mixes and sugar are not nourishing to my body...so I recreated an old friend to nourish both body and soul.

Hot water

Collagen powder(grass fed) ... some days I use vegan protein powder, or paleo protein powder...

Cocoa...plain

Coconut cream or plant based milk, or cream.  today I used a hazelnut, vegan creamer.

Powder organic super red (dried blend of berries, beets, carrots, fruits, veggies etc)  Sometimes I use extracts like orange or lemon or peppermint

If I need more sweet I add 100% pure monk fruit or stevia.  Today life seemed sweet enough.

Part of what I love about my hot chocolate  is the memories of my dad and Sunday mornings doing life simply and easy.  I lost my dad this spring.  He lives with me in Hot Chocolate and being easy with Sundays.  

The Habit Poem...A year of tiny practices

"The first time you actually do it differently - whether you're delighted or disappointed in the results - you throw a pebble in the pond. The pebble sends out tiny, barely visible ripples of movement toward the center. No one else notices.....But one day, all those small but indelible moments of private courage will burst through. And both you an your world will have changed in an authentic moment."        Sarah Ban Breathnach Simple Abundance

 Greetings January!!

         When you are creating new years resolutions...  Think daily practices...they turn into habits...and habits create your life.   You can do this...one tiny practice at a time...one pebble, one day, one moment.

                         May you be persistent and consistent in your dreams,  Happy New Year!!

                                                                                                    Denise Frakes Home and Life Coach

The Habit Poem

I am your constant companion

I am your greatest helper or heaviest burden

I will push you onward or drag you down to failure

I am completely at your command

Half of the things you do, you might as well turn over to me 

and I will do them - quickly and correctly

I am easily managed- you must be firm with me

Show me exactly how you want something done

and after a few lessons I will do it automatically

I am the servant of great people

and alas, of all failure as well.

Those who are great, I have made great

Those who are failures, I have made failures

I am not a machine though

I work with the precision of a machine

plus the intelligence of a person

You may run me for profit or run me to ruin

it makes no difference to me

Take me, train me, be firm with me, and 

I will place the world at your feet

Be easy with me and I will destroy you.

Who am I?  I am Habit.

Author unknown

When you wobble...dig deep. Be a dandelion!

I've been smitten with dandelions ever since I can remember.  This little weed, she inspires me. Her determination to thrive in any condition, to bloom wherever she is planted, speaks to me.

We are living in wild times.  We have to decide if we are going to bloom or whither.  Nature teaches us how to be resilient, how to thrive in storms and come back from fires.  How to bloom on our own.  We are more resilient than we know.

I love dandelions because of their feisty spirits.  When I start to wobble...and of course I do wobble, slump and grieve....and then I think: "Be a Dandelion Denise".

The wisdom of Dandelion

My tap root runs deep. It is strong. When I need nourishment or water I dig deep into the earth.

Try to pull me up...my root may snap, but that is only temporary.  Before long I will be blooming again ... stronger, brighter, more joyfully.

My roots are medicinal, I am meant to heal

My leaves are nourishing, I am food

My flower is bright yellow. I bring joy

I'm the first to bloom in the spring and one of the last to bloom into winter.  If I get planted in tall grass, I will shoot my blooms up high so I can see. I will explode thousands of seeds. I have faith at least one will find soil.

Not everyone understands my value.  By most, I'm considered a weed and yet I don't mind. I continue to multiply and grow despite the effort to quiet me.  I don't need much to bloom. You can find me growing in unlikely places.  I grow in ditches. I bloom on freeway walls...with nothing to hang onto but a handful of dirt...I will bloom no matter where I find myself. It is my gift.

I'm a determined and feisty soul. I am who I am, and I like my spirit. I will thrive in any climate, any season, any location.  I am tender and strong.  I am bouquets of love given by tiny hands.

I am the definition of resiliency.  I am medicine. I am nourishment. I am spirited. I am beautiful. I am bright, I am happy. I am authentically me.  I am a dandelion. 

This is what I think when I need to dig in deep and bloom... in uncertain times ... let your roots dig in deep, your spirit bloom.  Don't ask permission or wait for the perfect conditions. 

We have one life and this is it!  Let's bloom where we are planted!  Be a dandelion! Be whatever you need to be...listen to your heart, your spirit, your joy.  Let's find ways to thrive, re-create, to connect, bloom, grow, share.  We all have it in us.  That feisty, wild spirit... this spirit we need to listen to.  The world needs our blooms!

No matter what the world is doing, in spite what is going on around us- bloom!

    Denise...I'm digging in right next to you!

Wabi-Sabi Beauty

Wabi-Sabi and Virtual Concerts...beauty is very much alive and well

"Beauty can be coaxed out of ugliness. 

 Wabi-Sabi is ambivalent about separating beauty from non-beauty or ugliness...

Wabi-Sabi suggests that beauty is a dynamic event that occurs between you and something else.  

Beauty can spontaneously occur at any moment 

given the proper circumstances, context, or point of view.  

Beauty is thus an altered state of consciousness, 

an extradition moment of poetry and grace."  

                                                                          Leonard Koren
                                                     Wabi-Sabi for artists, designers, poets and philosophers

In the midst of COVID-19.. there are beautiful things happening.  We are thinking differently, coming together in ways that were thought impossible just a month ago.
  

Virtual concerts are one of those ways...

This is from the Berklee College of Music...

I know it's scary and hard out there.  We are all shaken out of our normal, our of our ruts, our habits.  We will get through this, and in the process we get to expand what is possible.

                  "Beauty can be coaxed out of ugliness"  Leonard Koren

                                          Denise Frakes
                                                Home and Life Coach...at your service

                   

Hope from 1869 & 2020

A poem by an Irish woman after the plague devastated Ireland in 1869

And the people stayed home.

And read books,

and listened,

and rested,

and exercised,

and made art,

and played games,

and learned new ways of being,

   and were still.

And listened more deeply.

Some meditated,

some prayed,

some danced.

Some met their shadows.

And the people began to think differently.

And the people healed.

And, in the absence of people

   Living in ignorant, dangerous, mindless and heartless ways,

the earth began to heal.

And when the danger passed,

and the people joined together again,

they grieved their losses,

and made new choices,

and dreamed new images,

and created new ways to live and heal the earth fully, as they had been healed.

                                            Kathleen O’Meara or Irene Vella

Originally, I believed this poem to have been written in 1869.  Later my friend who sent this to me, corrected her earlier post. She discovered this poem was a current poem written by an Italian journalist Irene Vella and translated by Kathleen O’Meara.

I want to give credit where credit is warranted…  And yet, when I thought this poem was written by a woman in 1869, I felt such an uplifted vision, a feeling of renewal after winter.  So, as you read this poem…pretend these words were written from a wise soul who came through a similar storm. Because it was and because eventually this storm too will pass.  We will come back out and we will be changed.  How we change will be up to us.

One of my favorite quotes ever is:
   “Never fear the storm, that’s where all the energy is.”
                          Unknown

Be well, be safe, be kind
     from my home to yours,
                  Denise

The Practice of Smiling as a Meditation

The practice of smiling as a meditation is one of the most profound and flexible meditations you will ever find.  By thoughtfully taking time to smile, no matter the weather, day's events or season, you will not only relax your nervous system and up your resiliency but you also become present.

The Practice of Smiling as a Meditation

   by Thich Nhat Hahn from Be Free Where you are

  "Smiling is a practice.  There are over 300 muscles in your face.

When you are angry or fearful, these muscles tense up.

The tension in these muscles creates a feeling of hardness.

If you know how to breathe and produce a smile however, the tension will disappear."

"Make smiling an exercise."

"There are times when your joy produces a smile.

There are also times when a smile causes relaxation, calm and joyu.

I do not wait until there is joy in me to smile:  Joy will come later

Sometimes when I am along in my room in the dark, 

 I practice smiling to myself.

I do this to be kind to myself, to take good care of myself, to love myself.

I know that if I cannot take care of myself, I cannot take care of anyone else."

"Being compassionate to yourself is a very important practice.  

When you are tired, angry or in despair,

you should know hoe to take care of your tiredness, your anger and your despair.

That is why we practice smiling, mindful walking, breathing and mindful eating."

To create smiling as a practice, I recommend incorporating this smiling practice into an already established habit.  Something you do everyday- rain or shine: washing your face, cooking dinner, exercising, driving, right before you go to sleep and when you wake up.  By connecting this new baby practice with a current habit you are using what is called a trigger habit.  When you connect a new habit with an existing habit it ups its chances of becoming a habit exponentially.

Just a FYI, there are days this practice comes easy and there are times it is a deep practice.                     Be kind, consistent and persistent - the benefits are huge!!

Happy travels,
      Denise
                                         Life Coach and Speaker for home and health

Habits...Fuel for Goals

A clear vision with beautiful habits supports the journey 

  I am your constant companion,
I am your greatest helper or heaviest burden.
I will push you onward or drag you down to failure.
I am completely at your command.
Half the things you do might just as well turn over to me
and I will be able to do them quickly and correctly.
I am easily managed -
you must merely be firm with me.
Show me exactly how you want something done
and after a few lessons, I will do it automatically.
I am the servant of all great people;
and alas, of all failures as well.
Those who are great,
I have made great.
Those who are failures,
I have made failures.
I am not a machine,
though I work with all the precision of a machine
plus the intelligence of a human.
You may run me for a profit or run me for ruin -
it makes no difference to me.
Take me,
train me,
be firm with me,
And I will place the world at your feet.
Be easy with me,
and I will destroy you.
WHO AM I?
I AM HABIT.

May your journey be beautiful, thoughtful and extraordinary in 2019,
         Denise- Coach

Sorting books- refreshing your spirit

One of my favorite ways to refresh my life is to sort my books.  Overtime my bookcases will fill with ideas and authors.  At some point, I will need to reboot.  I woke up Sunday morning and as I passed my bookcase I had huge desire to play with my books.  Not to read them but to sort them.  My bookshelf had become stagnate and over flowing.  Time to unmuddle and reboot.

Sunday afternoon I pulled all my books out and set them on the bed.  Organizing into categories.  My brain started seeing trends.  I took care to notice how I was feeling.  Was this idea/subject current?  Was I holding onto someone else's thoughts?  Did I feel excited to dive in or obligated to read?  How long have I traveled with this book?  Was it this an old idea that I have fully integrated and moved beyond?  Did I like the title, the color and the size of the book?  Questions and emotions flowed.

I moved my books from pile to pile.  Some got moved into my hubby's bookcase.  They were his thoughts- no need to hold onto someone else's thoughts.
A pile of books to sell or donate started to pile up.  Books I used to love but.. stacked up. Books I think I "should" read but I know myself.  Books I want to explore got stacked. Books I want to pop into to and randomly read a passage or chapter stacked up.  Books I want to read to improve my skills piled up.... And on it went. questions and movement.

Thoughts sorted and refreshed

In the end, I had gathered up 21 books.  21 books varied in topic, size, age, color and author.  A little pile of books I can draw from.  Other books got sorted by subject, type and look and thoughtfully placed into my other book cases.  Many books are going to be taken to 1/2 price books.

This sorting process is what I call sorting my thoughts.  By sorting my books I get to refresh my thoughts, discovered ideas that are not as important as they once were. I discovered old books I wanted to revisit and new ideas I wanted to dive into.  By narrowing down my books I gave myself space to explore.  Now I have a little pile of inspired and energized books.

Uncluttering your books is an effective way of uncluttering your thoughts, discovering your passions and letting go of what no longer supports your life, your spirit, your mind and your health.

Books are personal.  My aunt used to say they were like having friends around.  I agree.  This emotional connection is also one of the reasons they are hard to let go of.  Sort your thoughts, let go of old thoughts. Let your life breathe and create space for new ideas and thoughts to flow your way.

If you are feeling stagnate, uncertain, over whelmed - sort your books.  If your bookcases are over stuffed and spilling out at the seams - sort your books.  If you have held onto your college books, books from 10 years ago - sort your books.  If the title, size and color or a book makes you cringe - sort your books.

Sorting books and uncluttering is not work it is a spiritual practice of discovery.
         Wishing you a clear mind, breathing space and passions ignited.
                                Denise

A tip on cookbooks:
      When looking at the recipes ask yourself do I want to eat this custard or actually cook it.  A trip to a restaurant with a friend to sample and dine is better than old dusty cookbooks taking up space in your life.

"And waste my heart no more on fear"

This morning as I'm prepping to give a presentation on clutter tonight, I'm pausing to share a couple poems.

May I have the courage today

To live the life that I would love,

To postpone my dream no longer,

But do at last what I came her for

And waste my heart no more on fear.

   John O'Donohue

I choose to risk my significance.

To live so that which came to me as seed

goes to the next as blossom

and that which came to me as blossom, 

goes on to fruit.

Dawna Markova

Wishing you a lightness in your step and ease in your life,

                  Denise

Playing small doesn't serve the world

Do you ever doubt yourself? Are you ever afraid?  I am.  I wish I could say, no not me I'm always super confident and amazing.  The truth is I doubt, I shrink, I fret.  Sometimes, I think who am I to write, coach, create workshops, give presentations, even garden or create recipes?  But then there are other times, more and more, that I smile and know.  I like those times better.

Today, a friend of mine and I were visiting about this very topic.  She sent me a poem writen by Marianne Williamson.   If you are having a day of doubt read this and see if your inner knowing doesn't perk up a bit.

As always, I wish you oodles of confident and splashes of brilliance,
      Denise

"Our Deepest Fear"

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.

Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.

It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.

We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous?

Actually, who are you not to be?

You are a child of God.

Your playing small doesn't serve the world.

There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.

We were born to manifest the glory of God that is within us.  It's not just in some of us;

It's in everyone.

And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.

As we are liberated from our own fears, our presence automatically liberates others."

Marianne Williamson