grandma's tea cup collection

 Sunday's, I don't set my alarm.  When I wake up, I wake up.  No to do list is waiting.  And every Sunday when I'm home...I find myself wandering into a little project.  This morning was cleaning teacups.  My grandma Ella had a big collection of teacup.  Grandpa had made her 8 tea cup cabinets to hang on their walls.  Each held 9 teacups.  When she passed my sister and I were gifted her collection.  

At the time, I wasn't having tea parties.  Frilly, fancy teacups weren't really my thing.  As much as I love my grandma, I didn't really want a giant collection of teacups.  I didn't even like pink or fancy dishes.

Of course, growing up, I didn't like broccoli, asparagus, brussels sprouts, or beets either.  Everyday you lose cells and gain new cells.  Every 7 years we become new people.

A few weeks ago, I cleaned out, organized, rebooted and downsized all my dishes, my grandma dishes, good dishes, tea cups everything you would find in a china cabinet.  Which is funny because, I also never wanted a china closet and yet somehow, I had enough good dishes and such to fill a china closet.  90% of which were gifted to me or wandered into my life. 

Over the years, I fell in love with tea parties and vegetables.  A friend of mine endeared me to the art of tea.  Sitting, enjoying a cup of tea during a work pause or after work satisfaction.  Maybe I learned to love tea parties by reading about Wabi Sabi, or going to Iona, or from my aunt Darlean.  Or maybe I've always be destined to love tea parties.  I'm a slow bloomer. 

Like the dishes I didn't buy, tea parties wandered into my life.  I didn't search them out, and yet they found me anyway.

This morning, as I was washing my tea cup collection.  (My own collection whittled down to 9 tea cups with saucers.)  I was wondering.  As many tea cups as my grandma had did she ever have tea?  Did she use her tea cups as tea cups?  I never saw her have tea.  And yet, as much as she like collecting tea cups, I can't remember one time her using those tea cups.  Maybe she used them when I wasn't there.  My hunch is, she loved collecting tea cups and making cookies, pies and the most amazing sticky pecan rolls.  But the actual tea party...I don't know.

Now I find myself falling in love with tea parties, tiny bites.   Moments you savor slowly, absorbing the moment as well as the food and tea.  Tea served in a tiny cup feels special.  Deliberate, better?  I'm awake.  Mugs of hot tea go well with books, afghans and afternoons.  Teacups, are used awake-present.

I know my grandma loved her tea collection.  Going to garage sales, on day trips, finding a teacup calling her name.  Having the means to buy something beautiful just for the sake of beauty- was a gift to her.  She grew up very poor.  Her china closet was more than just dishes.  

I understood why she loved teacups.  This morning as I was washing each tiny plate, little cup, I was present. I was so present.  This is what a tea party means to me.  Savoring a moment.  Being fully present and tasting life.  Pausing from my own life to slow down, slow way down and simply sip, or taste a bite a tasty bite.  Tea parties, even tea for one, when served on tiny plates and little teacups with a special treat...makes me... happy. 

With a tiny tea cup you take tiny sips.  You hold your posture a little straighter.  The table set just so.  It's a tiny moment in life. It is special.  Tea parties are special moments.

Thank you, grandma, for my tea collection that took a long time to be appreciated.

If you have a teacup collection.  Dust them off.  Wash them.  Take them out of the cupboard.  Brew a bit of tea.  Make a tiny treat.  Sit up straight, breathe slow and deep - satisfying breaths.  Invite a friend over.  Tea parties don't have to be fancy.  Little peanut butter and jelly sandwiches do just fine.

               Denise

I have an update to this tea party... Yesterday, my mom and I got into a conversation about sewing machines and tea parties.  I gave away my sewing machine this summer.  On paper, I should love to sew. My mom is an amazing seamstress, so is my step mom. I'm not. I'd rather be doing pretty much anything but sewing.  To be fair, I love to sew straight lines, go buy material and fantasize about all the things I could create...but that's as far as it goes.  I was telling my mom I was loving tea parties.  She told me something I don't think I realized.  Denise you have always loved tea parties.  She would know, she is my mom.  Thinking about it, I can't imagine a time that I would turn away a tea party.

Sit still and be interesting

"When I run after what I think I want, my days are a furnace of stress and anxiety.

If I sit in my own place of patience, what I need flows to me and without pain.

From this I understand that what I want also wants me, is looking for me and attracting me."

Rumi

 When I was a kid, my job (self imposed) was to help tame our baby calves and barn kittens.  It didn't take long to learn that if I chased them...they ran.  It was when I got still, sat and did something interesting that they would come to me.   When I think of Rumi's words, I know it to be true.  Denise stop chasing, sit still, be interesting and wait for my little friends to come visit me.

    Just a thought, when you feel like you should "go after"  your dreams.

                                                    Denise

Joy is like a muscle...a muscle that needs exercise

 "Joy is a Devine quality of our true self, which is inherently lighthearted, playful and free. You can see the full expression of this joy in young children who haven't learned to worry or take themselves too seriously.  They play and laugh freely, finding wonder in the smallest things. They are infinitely creative because they haven't yet build up the layers of conditioning that creates limitations and restrictions"          Deepak Chopra

Don't wait for joy to come.  Joy is a muscle.  If you want to get in joyful shape...you need to exercise your joy muscles.  Action is required.  Reading a book about joy or wishing for it doesn't do anything unless a little action is included.  Life is richer and way more fun, when joy is part of your daily workout. This is one reason I love clutter clearing as part of my coaching. When done correctly, Clutter clearing is a joyful act.  It creates a lighter home.  It's good for your spirit!  It is productive.  Creating a refreshed space, an authentic and nourishing space is an act of love.

I tell my clients all the time...this will be fun.  You should see the sideway glances I get. But it's true. I know it in my bones. I see it over an over again. I feel it.  Joyful work is good medicine.  And good medicine can be joyful work!

A little bit of exercise done consistently overtime...creates healthy bodies and joyful spirits.  It takes time to clean off life's residues and let your natural joy, your essence shine through.  This is a journey of discovery.  If you are cleaning out your home or igniting your joy..it is a process.  A delightful and awe inspiring journey.  One that when done consistently...even just a smidgen at a time...will give you blessings in buckets.

Today, add a splash of joy to your day.  Dance to a little music, sing a song, go outside and look for new discoveries, clean out one book shelf.  Send a note of gratitude to a friend.  Play hop scotch...throw ball.  Simple...yes!  Good for the soul?  You bet!  Dance a little dance...everyday...smile for no reason.  Watch a comedy...just play.  And then do it again tomorrow.  

                            Wishing you a joyful journey,

                                        Denise Frakes  Home and Life Coaching...joyfully done!

 

Life coaching...Seeing you as the miracle you already are

“There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.”  Albert Einstein

This is how I see you...as a miracle.   

  What I love about coaching is:  I'm not here to change you but help you uncover and discover you.  When we work together, we are partners.  You are whole, beautiful and fully capable. The nature of life, hides what is right there.  Our lives are habitual...40% of our daily actions are lost to us.  Coaching isn't to fix something missing. Coaching is shining a light on your essence, your perfectly imperfectly authentic beautiful you.

This week, I was cleaning out my office files...and came upon, the 7 commitments of a Transformation coach.  Thought you might just like to know what they are.  

1.  I honor the sacredness of others and hold their confidences

2.  I respect other's perceptions of the world and meet them were they are

3. I am impeccable with my word and commitments

4. I connect from the heart

5. I hold my client and the world in a positives focus

6. I take responsibility for myself and allow others to do the same

7. I see all people as whole, full and complete

Our work together is sacred.  Your life, your home, your possibilities are sacred.  This is why I was so drawn to the transformation life coaching program.  I see the miracle of you, even when you might have lost sight of your natural essence.   We work together not to change you, but to remind you of your value, to honor, uncover your dreams.  I merely reflect back to you the wonder I see in you.

You may be going through some irksome times. Our world is, and we are part of this greater whole.  What I urge you and will continue to cultivate in my own life is seeing each other and our world.. all it's glory and struggles...in a positive focus. Having faith in each other to be resilient, beautiful, creative and kind.  To see what might be hidden behind clutter, anger, fear, sorrow, lack of sleep, anxiety and too much sugar.  Our beautiful spirits never go away...sometimes we  just get a little residue on the outside.  Nothing a good cleaning can't take care of.

           From my own cleaning out reflections,

                       Denise Frakes... may you journey beautifully

     

A little less wobbling please...

When walking, just walk. When sitting, just sit. But above all don’t wobble!  Lin Chi

How much do we wobble? 

 Instead of being present, how much of our lives is spent in wobbling mode... trying to do 2-3-4 things at once?  Have you been to a coffee shop lately?  How many of us are sitting with someone...but looking at our cell phones?  How long do we hold focus on a project before we are interrupted...the phone rings, a text or pop up appears, we get hungry?....
We loose our focus...we start wobbling.

If we want to un-stress our lives and be who we are capable of being … become present... an undistracted version of ourselves.  Imagine showing up everyday...fully us.  Not wobbling, but clear, present and engaged.  

listening, tasting, seeing, smelling, feeling... present...

Who could we all become and what are we cable of doing by just reducing distractions and limiting our wobbling?  

When we are going to write...we write

When we do the dishes... we do the dishes

When we watch tv...we watch tv

When we listen...we listen

When we walk... we walk

When we drive... we drive

What a novel idea right?  It is stupidly simple...and yet

Why are we a society of distracted souls?  

More importantly... how do we want to show up in this world?

The truth is, when we are fully ourselves, nourished, happy and healthy, we make the world a better place.  We show up. 

It's usually in the removal that we find true selves... not in the addition of.  Practicing the art of subtraction makes room for our lives to breath and then to flourish.  A life that flourishes has a way of spreading beyond ourselves.  Like the internet, we are a web of connections.  Imagine if all our connectors we clean, happy and healthy working together.  Presently

A morning thought

   from my desk 

       during my own quiet time

un-wobbled space

Denise Frakes...wobbler, runner, writer.....

       

5 habits to raise your home's happiness index

     There is an indescribable joy that happens when you open up a freshly cleaned and thoughtfully stocked refrigerator.  You swing the door open wide, take a big breath and relax.  

Your heart opens up and you smile.... 

this is what creating a nourished and happy home does- it makes you happier

Creating a nourishing home for you, your family, your treasures 

is creating a space for your joy to bloom

    When you pull open your sock drawer and your socks are all happily in place. 

   When company unexpectedly appears at your front door, and you look around to see your home is
 at ease, clean and welcoming  

 

   Your happiness index rises

     When you find a rubber band and you think…I know exactly where that goes.
 I have a home for this!!  A little joy bubbles and wiggles in soul

     When you wake up in the morning to a clean kitchen...because you put it to bed the night before.
  

     When you start to clean your house and
 don't have to spend 3 hours putting things away
   

     When you sit down to have a cup of tea and look around and
 see more things that give you joy than tasks to be done.

     When you snuggle into bed, in a room that feels just right and
 you feel your body and mind relax... 

   Your happiness index rises

 Nourishing homes support our happiness.  A home that feels cozy and relaxes our nervous systems reducing our stress.  Homes like this make us happier.  When we are happy, we are healthier, more at ease.   We process better, communicate better and are more creative.  Life is easier and we feel luckier. 

  Perfection isn't the goal to creating homes that nourish.  Homes are living beings.  They will shift and flow with our lives, the seasons and with how well they are loved and cared for.  If we live in a home that is loved...we feel more loved.  When we create homes that make us happy...that joy is reflected back to us.  When our homes make since, support our life habits, are easy and feel nourishing... we are happier and healthier.

   Happiness is found in creating spaces you love and are loved

5 habits to raise your home's happiness index

       Practice tiny acts of tidiness…. Happy homes come from mindful creating.  They don't wait for the grand gestures or big projects... or cleaning day.  Tiny acts of tidiness happen all the time.  Sinks are wiped down after teeth are brushed, the mail sorted and put way, muddled shoes get a quick touch or order... tiny acts of tidiness.  Our work isn't drudgery but acts of kindness.

     Practices of prevention.  My Aunt Velma was always saying...If you have to swallow a bull frog don't spend too much time looking at it.  Spending time thinking about cleaning or un-cluttering causes stress.  When we gently and lightly clean and put away our days as we go... we have little to do on cleaning day.  Instead of thinking cleaning day... think prevention, prevention, prevention

     Practice Creating little homes…. Think of your home as thousands of tiny homes living within your home.  Putting like items with like items.  Making space for what we use and love the most... in the most honored of spaces. Create homes for your treasures.  Everyone feels better when then belong somewhere.  Plus, knowing where everything lives is a total stress reducer.

    Gather support of kindred spirits and home angels….. by having healthy support system, we up our chances of accomplishing our lists and goals by 65-95%!!! Schedule a house cleaner, a home coach, a handy person to help you.  Schedule company to visit for a party or just a cup of tea.  Take a picture of your work before and after share your accomplishment with a buddy.

    Pause and be openly Curious.  Because we are creatures of habit.  We get lost in the day to day shuffle.   Pause and look around.  Be openly curious.  Pretend you don't live here- who does? What do you see, what do you notice?  Sometimes we have to pause from doing and look at our homes from a new perspective.  What do we love, what are we grateful for?  What are we done with?

 How do you feel in your home?  More importantly how do you want to feel??

  Our habits can uplift or deplete.  They don't care... they are here to make our brains work less, conserve energy and help us repeat the patterns we create.  By creating new patterns and ways of looking at our home and lives we wake up.  We shake off the cobwebs of the day to day grind. 
Housekeeping is exactly what we think it is... happiness or work.  I choose happiness...most days. 

Not every day is easy, but by habitually loving your work and home...happiness starts to become the habit.  This is a beautiful thing.

Action:  Look around your home.  What do you see?  What do you love?  How do you feel.  Just notice.  No judgement here.  Think of your 5 year old self and see with curiosity.  This is a great place to start.  Let me know what you discover!

You can do this!  Life is too short to get squished by housework. 
          Denise Frakes
            your life and home coach

Epiphany Season Starts Now!

Epiphany:  A moment of sudden revelation or insights…  a manifestation of a divine or supernatural being… the festival commemorating the Epiphany on January 6^th  (Seri definition)

This is our Penny Kitty

Epiphany day was introduced to be by my aunt Darlene. I love the idea of a whole day for just for Epiphanies.

How I celebrate 

Epiphany day: the day we get and celebrate Epiphanies 

This year I'm using the 12 days of Christmas as 12 delightful days to cultivate and create space for Epiphanies...and set in motion a beautiful 2020

Yes, I know I'm redefining the meaning of both the 12 Days of Christmas and Epiphany Day.  Can I do that?  Yes, I can. As far as I know there is no such thing as Holiday police.

 The secret to a great ending is a brilliant beginning.  That’s exactly what Epiphany season is... creating space for the new year...the new decade.

The season goes something like this… 

On the first day of Christmas …which is also Epiphany season, my true love gave to me…

             1 hour to play and a freshly cleaned out office storage cabinet...

On the second day of Christmas… which is also Epiphany season, my true love gave to me

              …...…?????...…   You get the gist

  How do you want to live in 2020?  

From Dec 26th to Jan 6th...

                    clean; clean out; discover; create space for 2020; to encourage Epiphanies …

                                          Pay attention…Epiphanies are quick and nibble                                          

      One more thing…have fun!  Epiphanies love delight.       

The more fun you have the more Epiphanies you'll attract.

                                       Happy Epiphany Season... it's magical
                                                                             Denise Frakes… Seasonal Epiphany Coach...

What day should you clean your house?

I have given this question a tremendous amount of thought... Seriously, odd amounts of ponderings. When I was a kid, my mom cleaned on Saturdays...which meant I cleaned on Saturdays.  Over the years I've tried cleaning on Saturdays- all times, Monday mornings, Tuesday afternoons, Sunday nights, hardly ever on Thursdays and Friday mornings.

I explore cleaning...it's a thing … My quest has been long and deep

Cleaning re-boots our lives and un-muddles our homes.  It creates a cozy, nourishing space to rest and play.  Cleaning is even one of the 7 essentials for a healthy home.  I can go on and on...you know I can.  I've written about cleaning on this blog for 10 years!  A kindly cleaned home is good for the soul.  This I get, no question there is value of what cleaning does for our lives.  But...

When do we clean???

The when of cleaning...here are my discoveries from a life of cleaning as a practice...

Cleaning needs space.  If I don't have a designated time and day to clean, cleaning gets put off and before I know it my house is muddled, dust bunnies run wild and I no longer have a cozy life.  Having a rhythm to this practice of cleaning- creates a natural ease in your life.  Cleaning needs space- consistent time just for cleaning...putting your life back in order.

 Early Friday morning is my favorite time.

    Each day of the week has a natural energy to it.  It's like what farmers do when they plant with the moon's rhythms.   There is a time to grow, to weed, to plant and a time to rest. The days of the week have a similar feel.  Friday's has the energy of completion for the week, love and art.  This is the perfect energy for cleaning.  I get my home in order and I use cleaning as a lovely practice of love and artistic play.  Super early Fridays morning is my absolutely my preferred space for home TLC

 When I need my creativity to be ignited.  

   Cleaning jump starts my brain for writing and creating.  If I want to write about cleaning, or give a talk on clutter, the best way to dig in is to start with cleaning. We get ideas when we shower, go on walks, cook etc.  By getting out of our brain and into methodical physical movement, our brains relax and our creativity gets a kick start. Cleaning cleans my brain.

 When I'm stressed, feeling ungrounded or don't know where to start... I clean.

    Cleaning is the great de-stressor.  Having my home in order makes me feel like my life is in order... When my home is messy...it's usually a sign my life is going in too many directions.  Cleaning brings me back to center and relaxes my nervous system.  When my thoughts are muddled, I organize my books and paper.  I use cleaning as productive therapy.

For 2 hours. 

   Like all things, cleaning will take up whatever time I give it.  I like two hours.  By cleaning in a designated 2 hour block, my mind will stay clear and focused.  I will get whatever needs done- done.  And here is the bonus...by only giving myself 2 hours to clean, I focus more on prevention during the week so when I do clean I have less to do.  Be firm with yourself- set a time boundary for your cleaning and then be super focused and present when you do clean.  (shut off distractions)

 

After and before... 
   After a big project or event, cleaning re-grounds me and re-boots my space.  After a trip, work project, party... my home and life need to be cleaned up and put away before I move on.  On the opposite side, I clean before I begin a project or have an event.  I did extra cleaning before we had thanksgiving at our house.  This type of cleaning is more like a project and event related vs weekly maintenance.  Having a clean home helps you welcome people into your home---with less stress.

Did that help?  Here is the thing.  Cleaning is a gift or it is a burden.  It supports you or depletes you.  How you do your work has more to do with your attitude, habits and wisdom than it does the actual work.  It is what we say it is.

Happy cleaning,
          Denise... traveler of life chores and dust bunnies

What do Comfort zones, Butterflies and Clutter have in common?

My sister and I were talking the other day about comfort zones. Our conclusion, you have to be comfortable to actually be in a comfort zone.  If you are dreaming of change, then technically you are not in a comfort zone!!  Think of clutter as an uncomfortable and muddling comfort zone.  A butterfly stuck in a cocoon.

Have you ever watched a caterpillar turn into a butterfly?  My Aunt Velma was a scientist at heart. Her back yard was one big science experiment. When I would visit, she would bring me to the back yard and show me butterfly cocoons.  We would check on the cocoons everyday watching caterpillars become butterflies. 

 The purpose of clutter clearing isn't just reducing your stuff. Hardly!  Clutter clearing is the uplift of your life.  The exploration of your spirit.  It's pulling weeds and pruning branches. It's making space to plant.  It's unsticking your brain from its ruts. It is spreading your wings and transforming. It's the discovery of what kind of butterfly you are.

 Clutter clearing is a metamorphosis of mind, body and spirit.

  Transformation is getting out of your comfort zone, your cocoon.  

Why go to the trouble of clearing clutter and changing your life?  

Because the payoff is... you get to fly, wear beautiful colors and children squeal with delight when they see you.  That's why.

Intentionally transformation

 Percolate your curiosity

"... caterpillars are short, stubby and have no wings at all. Within the chrysalis the old body parts of the caterpillar are undergoing a remarkable transformation,called 'metamorphosis,' to become the beautiful parts that make up the butterfly that will emerge."  

                                                 The Butterfly Site

Autumn begins a season change.
We know we need to clean out from summer and prepare ourselves for winter.
 Leaves are falling.  The season is shifting.
Expand your wings

     Take 1 hour this week and unclutter a pile that needs un-cocooned!
          I'll be with you all the way,
                Denise

Don't let summer pass you by...

 When I started this summer's mastermind workshops, my thought was to create space to accomplish one major summer project.  And it still is... uncluttering our paper, downsizing our stuff, writing that book, painting your house, visiting Italy...  A project that come autumn, your future self will say thank you!

However...,
in the process of creating space to work, I was called to add in play.  Summer isn't summer without play, exploration, outside, freedom to be, watermelon and long summer nights.  If we forget this, then come winter, our spirits will baulk.

So I added in the summer bucket list, 10 simple pleasures of summer.  Actions requiring very little time, energy, finances or thought.  Little things like- eating a hot dog at a ball game, trying a new flavor of ice-cream, going on a walking road trip to no where, exploration of summer. Things you would do when life was simple and your imagination and curiosity were big.

You do know,  I never ask anything of you I'm not willing to do myself.  So this summer while I'm focusing on my one project, I'm also checking off my summer bucket list.  So far I have eaten 4 different kinds of hot dogs (I haven't got the right bite yet so still in quest), gone on daily micro road trips and tried 3 different kinds of ice-cream.  I have added in more dance, road trips on foot and beauty.

 My whimsical bucket list...is turning out to be the driving force and inspiration to my project and life.

By focusing on curiosity- what do I love to do in the summer?  I'm creating time and space to play, to discover.  Adventures and ideas are showing up.  My brain is working differently. I feel lighter.

We have 4 more mastermind workshops this summer.  Next one is July 23rd.  Let your joy muscles start percolating and your pride of accomplishment grow.  Everyone should take this class.  We can't forget our joy as we go about living. And big projects are best done in bite sized chunks.

Our summer workshops and taking summer two weeks at a time- play and progress.

How to Activate Your Super Power in Work

Go from focus to play & ignite your super power

 According to Cal Newport, in his book Deep Work, our ability to work fully focused and undistracted is a super power.  According to Brandon Burchard in his book High Performance Habits, taking a productive pause between focused working segments is just as important.

 Focused Deep Work will catapult us forward on our projects and out of overwhelm.

The Intentional Pause will keep our minds sharp and let us finish our day invigorated. 

I agree!

"Deep work is the ability to focus without distraction on a cognitively demanding task. It’s a skill that allows you to quickly master complicated information and produce better results in less time. Deep work will make you better at what you do and provide the sense of true fulfillment that comes from craftsmanship. In short, deep work is like a super power in our increasingly competitive twenty-first century economy." Cal Newport  Deep Work

The practice of deep work
 100% fully present
 monotasking - one very specific project or task
set timer
phones off
social media off
tv off
all interruptions paused
task - goal clear
focus 100 % on project
Benefit- super power activated

The practice of intentional pausing 
100% present and unplugged from focused task
set timer 5-10-15 minutes
step outside
stretch- move:  especially if you have been sitting at a desk
hydrating and balancing your blood sugar
breathe from your belly
play, throw a ball,  juggle, skip, dance
take a short walk
Look at nature
Eat your lunch outside- away from your desk
Focus 100% away from work
Benefit- super power activated

Repeat throughout your workday or project

 When your timer goes off. Stop!
 Step away from your desk or project.   Think recess, play, shut off brain

Set your timer for the pause too.  Distractions are everywhere- even in our play

Value and commit to pausing as much as you are to the work.
The Pause is equally as important as the work itself.

The pause is what will keep your mind sharp and your energy strong.  It is what will help you finish the day refreshed.

By becoming fully present and pausing we give our brains a chance to turn on their super powers.

Challenge:
Try deep work and intentional pausing for a day.  Let me know how it goes.
This practice is incredibly effective on mentally challenging tasks but equally helpful on boring or mundane tasks.   This practice of focusing on and then off, can be used on any task from writing a grant, downsizing your paper clutter, to even watching TV.  The most important part is to become present, fully intentional of your task and setting your timer to help you focus and then reboot.

The Practice of Smiling as a Meditation

The practice of smiling as a meditation is one of the most profound and flexible meditations you will ever find.  By thoughtfully taking time to smile, no matter the weather, day's events or season, you will not only relax your nervous system and up your resiliency but you also become present.

The Practice of Smiling as a Meditation

   by Thich Nhat Hahn from Be Free Where you are

  "Smiling is a practice.  There are over 300 muscles in your face.

When you are angry or fearful, these muscles tense up.

The tension in these muscles creates a feeling of hardness.

If you know how to breathe and produce a smile however, the tension will disappear."

"Make smiling an exercise."

"There are times when your joy produces a smile.

There are also times when a smile causes relaxation, calm and joyu.

I do not wait until there is joy in me to smile:  Joy will come later

Sometimes when I am along in my room in the dark, 

 I practice smiling to myself.

I do this to be kind to myself, to take good care of myself, to love myself.

I know that if I cannot take care of myself, I cannot take care of anyone else."

"Being compassionate to yourself is a very important practice.  

When you are tired, angry or in despair,

you should know hoe to take care of your tiredness, your anger and your despair.

That is why we practice smiling, mindful walking, breathing and mindful eating."

To create smiling as a practice, I recommend incorporating this smiling practice into an already established habit.  Something you do everyday- rain or shine: washing your face, cooking dinner, exercising, driving, right before you go to sleep and when you wake up.  By connecting this new baby practice with a current habit you are using what is called a trigger habit.  When you connect a new habit with an existing habit it ups its chances of becoming a habit exponentially.

Just a FYI, there are days this practice comes easy and there are times it is a deep practice.                     Be kind, consistent and persistent - the benefits are huge!!

Happy travels,
      Denise
                                         Life Coach and Speaker for home and health

Find more joy... look up!

How we see the world is often how the world is...

Where do your eyes go when you have an idea?  Where do your eyes look when you are happy or feeling awe?  UP.  Over time our eyes, like us, can become fatigued - weighed down with gravity.

January 1st, I joined Donna Eden in her 31 day eye challenge.  It was an easy challenge.  Over the 31 days in January, she posted daily 3-10 minute videos on YouTube.  Each video demonstrated the same 8 exercise repeated over and over again by different practitioners.  I did the exercise along with Donna, her family and students around the world.   Easy!

The eye exercises weren't new.  I had taken the Energy 101 and 102 courses about 8 years ago.  These exercises were part of that course.   Over the years I dabbled here and there but not much happened...I was too random and not consistent enough.

As I type this, I have been doing these exercises for 37 days.  I'm absolutely stunned by my eyes.  Here were the benefits the class said you might gain from doing the exercises.  Good enough right?  But what I'm experiencing is so beyond this list!

• Eye fatigue and strain
• Red, itchy, watery eyes
• Swollen eyes
• Headaches
• Allergies with eye-related symptoms
• Eye-related conditions such as glaucoma and cataracts
• The need for prescription eye glasses and/or contacts

I was expecting my eyes to feel less fatigued and maybe be able to see better.  But what I'm experiencing goes way beyond red and itchy eyes.  My upper vision has expanded.  I see up more.  When I'm walking I find myself looking up to the tops of the trees, out into the horizon.  In stores I see the whole store.  My eyes are more open.  It feels like I had an eye lift without any surgery.  I feel younger in spirit.  When I look in the mirror my eyes shine back at me.  

These exercises are magical.  I'm posting a few of the class videos- they are available on YouTube.  Also, check out Edenmedicine for more classes for your whole body.  Thank you Donna Eden!!

Try it for yourself.  Do the exercises everyday for 31 days.  Once you get the hang of it they can take as little as 2 minutes to complete.

The big improvements came from light and consistent practice.   A habit of bright and shining eyes!!  I have no idea what you will experience, but if it's close to what I'm experiencing- you are going to love me!!!   Habits are all about persistently and consistency.  its only 3 minutes - day

Day 4 of 31 eye exercises with Melanie Smith

Day 9 of 31 eye exercises with Eva Gold

Day 21 of 31 eye exercises with Helen McCarren

Day 30 of 31 eye exercises with Donna Eden

PS.  These exercise do not take the place of your eye doctor or in any way give medical advice.  This is an a exercise, a practice.  I'm finding great joy and benefit from this practice and wanted to share with my community, friends and family.  Enjoy

Happy smiling with bright and beautiful eyes.

             Denise

Habits are like compound interest

If you want to be happier this year focus on your habits.  Create a clear and beautiful vision of your future.  Then create habits to support that vision.  Small simple actions towards your goals...consistently and persistently done.  Pick one action....do it everyday...see how it transforms over time.  Like compound interest- tiny and consistent actions become powerful habits.

 Habits are like compound interest.  At first it doesn't seem like much

The easiest way to add a new habit is to hook it up with an already established habit. A Trigger habit:  A task or activity you already have to do and have been doing long enough that it is habitual.  Such as waking up, washing dishes, riding in the car, eating or even washing your face.  Our simple daily activities are a gold mine when it comes to creating a natural space and rhythm to nourish a new habit.

You want to have more energy?  Improve your breath.  Everytime you engage in a household chore, start with taking 5 long slow deep breaths.  Stand tall, smile and relax your shoulders, come back to present for 5 breathes or even 5 minutes.   As you vacuum, as you wash dishes, as you shop, as you clean...  you practice breathing.  This tiny practice becomes fertile ground to uplift your life.

Home care is a rich space to create new habits and up shift deeply imbedded unhealthy habits.

       Goals need legs to survive.  Cultivate your dreams and vision in your habits

Denise Coach and Trainer:  Home life and work at your service

Prune your chores = Increased Happiness

Cooking, cleaning, shopping, errands etc... our chores will expand in our lives until we start pruning. Without a bit of clutter clearing our freedom is squished and smashed.  Our chores and habits are closely related they silently and quietly move into our lives talking up our time and energy until we are exhausted and bogged down by life..

    The laws of money say your expenses will match and exceed your income unless you create intentional boundaries and awareness to stop the over spending.    The same is true of our chores.  Our in boxes, to do lists and daily chores can become time clutter.   Our lists of daily, weekly  and seasonal responsibilities needs periodic pruning.  Before the holidays appear, downsize your chores, giving yourself breathing room to play and celebrate.

Downsizing- deleting-delegating chores = Increased happiness

This week I came across a study... How buying time promotes happiness  The study tested the hypothesis of how spending money on material goods would compare to spending money on activities that saved time on our chores.  It turns our we are significantly happier spending money on saving time on our chores than on new stuff.

5 tips to Pruning your Autumn Chores

 Start slashing, cutting and simplifying your chores- get your knife sharp and mind clear 

    1)  Become aware...Pay attention to what you are doing each day- how much time and energy you spend on chores??

    2)  Unclutter your self imposed work!  How have your chores expanded over time?

            How many grocery stores do you go to each week?

            Do you have more stuff to dust around.

            Can your meals be simplified?  Can you use fewer dishes?

    3)  Delegate!  Hire! Buy!  Sometimes all you have to do is ask for help.

             Other times you might want to hire out.  A housecleaner, an decluttering coach, dinner out

                Help to the rescue!!  Get help!!!!!  Lighten your load!!

     4)  Simplify! Simplify! Simplify!
              Cook less but bigger batches,  Eat simply, enjoy left overs

              Downsize your possessions- less is more free time

              Shop less, shop fewer places, shop with a clear list

     5)  Just do it- Decide to reduce!   Open up your creative juices to see how many "required" chores can be simplified, downsized, reduced and deleted!

  This last quarter of 2019 sets the stage for next year.  Start by following our seasonal cues.  Let go of your leaves, let plants die away, harvest and prune your chores.  Less is more in our lives.  We don't need to go on vacation for freedom.  Freedom can be found everyday of our lives.  Breathing space is a gift it is the best gift you can ever give yourself and those you love.  Chores are there to support us in our lives...we were not created to mark off our daily chore lists

As always, I wish you great joy in your daily travels,

              Denise Frakes
    Personal and home coach... at your service