Never Fret on a Friday, Worry on a Wednesday...

 

Never fret on a Friday.  Never Worry on a Wednesday.  If you going to have a tantrum…for heavens sakes don’t do it on a Tuesday.  Don’t over think on a Thursday, sit around on a Saturday or spend too much time moping on a Monday.  Sundays are better suited for savoring than stressing.

I started thinking about this on a Friday.  I was fretting.  I haven’t a clue what I was fretting on.  But at that moment, it dawned on me that Fridays are not great days for fretting.  Then I got to thinking…when is a good day to fret? Is there a good day to fret?  As I scrolled through the days, it was clear…most days or not created for productive fretting, except maybe a Monday.  It seems Mondays are the day for a bit of moping.  However, make it short and sweet. Mondays are also rich for music, movement, moments of mystery, magic and mindfulness.  Too much moping on a Monday can waste a perfectly lovely day.

Fridays are the day to finish up and then have fun.  Why would you waste a good Friday by fretting when you could be creating art, loving and playing?  Fridays are perfect for finishing up and living brightly.

Don’t over think on a Thursday.  Looping thoughts, too many thoughts, too deep of thought are best saved for another day.  Be creative on Thursdays.  Luck shines brightly on Thursdays.  Take a leap of faith and jump.

Don’t worry on a Wednesday.  It’s the day to begin.   Start new projects on Wednesday.  Begin your new habits, write, and call a friend. Wiggling is fine for Wednesdays, especially if it comes with a tune.

Never have a tantrum on Tuesdays.   If you have inner venom circling around, redirect it.  Don’t spit it on others.  Wash your car, go for a walk, find a safe outlet. Your words have an extra bite that goes straight to the heart on Tuesdays.

Do not sit around on a Saturday.  Stand up, shake off the muck, smile and get started.  Saturday focus carries a special kind of satisfying. 

Never stress on a Sunday. Let the sunshine and nature wash away tension.  Relax, savor. Do it outside, study in the sun, nap in the shade.  Stir a pot of stew slowly.  Sip a cup of tea on the porch with friends.

So.... if you must mope, fret or worry, do it on a Monday.  Wallow if you must, but remember too much wallowing can dehydrate you, so drink a lot of water.

The next time, you find yourself fretting, worrying, snapping...pause and check your day.  Be mindful about when and what you do.😊

Denise Frakes- Life and Home Coach

grandma's tea cup collection

 Sunday's, I don't set my alarm.  When I wake up, I wake up.  No to do list is waiting.  And every Sunday when I'm home...I find myself wandering into a little project.  This morning was cleaning teacups.  My grandma Ella had a big collection of teacup.  Grandpa had made her 8 tea cup cabinets to hang on their walls.  Each held 9 teacups.  When she passed my sister and I were gifted her collection.  

At the time, I wasn't having tea parties.  Frilly, fancy teacups weren't really my thing.  As much as I love my grandma, I didn't really want a giant collection of teacups.  I didn't even like pink or fancy dishes.

Of course, growing up, I didn't like broccoli, asparagus, brussels sprouts, or beets either.  Everyday you lose cells and gain new cells.  Every 7 years we become new people.

A few weeks ago, I cleaned out, organized, rebooted and downsized all my dishes, my grandma dishes, good dishes, tea cups everything you would find in a china cabinet.  Which is funny because, I also never wanted a china closet and yet somehow, I had enough good dishes and such to fill a china closet.  90% of which were gifted to me or wandered into my life. 

Over the years, I fell in love with tea parties and vegetables.  A friend of mine endeared me to the art of tea.  Sitting, enjoying a cup of tea during a work pause or after work satisfaction.  Maybe I learned to love tea parties by reading about Wabi Sabi, or going to Iona, or from my aunt Darlean.  Or maybe I've always be destined to love tea parties.  I'm a slow bloomer. 

Like the dishes I didn't buy, tea parties wandered into my life.  I didn't search them out, and yet they found me anyway.

This morning, as I was washing my tea cup collection.  (My own collection whittled down to 9 tea cups with saucers.)  I was wondering.  As many tea cups as my grandma had did she ever have tea?  Did she use her tea cups as tea cups?  I never saw her have tea.  And yet, as much as she like collecting tea cups, I can't remember one time her using those tea cups.  Maybe she used them when I wasn't there.  My hunch is, she loved collecting tea cups and making cookies, pies and the most amazing sticky pecan rolls.  But the actual tea party...I don't know.

Now I find myself falling in love with tea parties, tiny bites.   Moments you savor slowly, absorbing the moment as well as the food and tea.  Tea served in a tiny cup feels special.  Deliberate, better?  I'm awake.  Mugs of hot tea go well with books, afghans and afternoons.  Teacups, are used awake-present.

I know my grandma loved her tea collection.  Going to garage sales, on day trips, finding a teacup calling her name.  Having the means to buy something beautiful just for the sake of beauty- was a gift to her.  She grew up very poor.  Her china closet was more than just dishes.  

I understood why she loved teacups.  This morning as I was washing each tiny plate, little cup, I was present. I was so present.  This is what a tea party means to me.  Savoring a moment.  Being fully present and tasting life.  Pausing from my own life to slow down, slow way down and simply sip, or taste a bite a tasty bite.  Tea parties, even tea for one, when served on tiny plates and little teacups with a special treat...makes me... happy. 

With a tiny tea cup you take tiny sips.  You hold your posture a little straighter.  The table set just so.  It's a tiny moment in life. It is special.  Tea parties are special moments.

Thank you, grandma, for my tea collection that took a long time to be appreciated.

If you have a teacup collection.  Dust them off.  Wash them.  Take them out of the cupboard.  Brew a bit of tea.  Make a tiny treat.  Sit up straight, breathe slow and deep - satisfying breaths.  Invite a friend over.  Tea parties don't have to be fancy.  Little peanut butter and jelly sandwiches do just fine.

               Denise

I have an update to this tea party... Yesterday, my mom and I got into a conversation about sewing machines and tea parties.  I gave away my sewing machine this summer.  On paper, I should love to sew. My mom is an amazing seamstress, so is my step mom. I'm not. I'd rather be doing pretty much anything but sewing.  To be fair, I love to sew straight lines, go buy material and fantasize about all the things I could create...but that's as far as it goes.  I was telling my mom I was loving tea parties.  She told me something I don't think I realized.  Denise you have always loved tea parties.  She would know, she is my mom.  Thinking about it, I can't imagine a time that I would turn away a tea party.

6 easy and enjoyable stress reducers... that work!!

Are you feeling stress?  Yup, we all are...here are 6 of my top stress busting tips for November... in no particular order.  Try one or two... let me know how it goes.   One simple shift can change everything... I'm here right here with you!

  Go outside

These are tiny fungi in our garden

Even 15 minutes out of the house and unplugged can shift your mood.  While you are outside...go for a walk, look around to see what wonders the season is bringing.  What are the clouds doing? Wave at neighbors.  Talk to barking dogs.  Smile at bursts of beauty. Move out of your brain and into the world.  Nature expands you.  Your radiant energy is nourished.

Get your zzzz's

Create space to sleep.  I totally get how easy it is to fall asleep on the couch watching TV or scrolling through Instagram or Facebook.  Those activates turn me into a zombie's!  How about you?  So create space to sleep 8-9 hours of nourishing sleep.  In addition to a good night's sleep...take a nap.  A well rested baby is a happy baby...we never grow out of our need to sleep. Sleep is when we heal, reboot, and replenish our mind, body and spirits.

Play

  Play is the antidote to stress!  Unplug, shut off work and go play.  Our nervous system needs play.  If you have ever had a puppy you know how sad they get when they don't get to play.  We are no different than puppies.  Joy begets Joy... cultivate play.  Discover what makes your spirit sparkle.

  Gratitude

  Gratitude moves us from the worry and fretting, fear and dread and into a world that warms your heart.  For a complete guide to the wonders of gratitude, check out this gatherings of articles...The neuroscience of Gratitude and how it affects anxiety and depression.  And check out Joshua Becker's a month of Gratitude

Gratitude Defined:  The quality of being thankful.  Readiness to show appreciation for and to; return kindness to someone

 Be present  

Move your attention from your thoughts to your body.  When you are feeling your body, your breath... your brain can relax.  By becoming present and breathing long, deep, slow nourishing breaths...you get to rest your weary mind.  

"To stay present in everyday life,  it helps to be deeply rooted within yourself:  otherwise, the mind, which as incredible momentum will drag you along like a wild river.    It means to inhabit your body fully.  To always have some of your attention in the inner energy filed of your body.  To feel the body from within, so to speak.  Body awareness keeps you present. It anchors you in the Now".   Practicing the Power of Now... Eckhart Tolle

Practice acts of kindness

This can be as simple as waving at a neighbor, to calling a friend.  Even pickup up the house so it feels better for your family.  Not as a chore but an act of love...we will feel better.  When we stop thinking of our own wows...and focus our attention on helping someone else.

  A funny thing happens...we feel better. It is the gift of giving.

You are more powerful, resourceful and resilient than you will ever know.  If you want an additional boost of inspiration... read the dressmaker of Khair Khana.  This book really put in perspective how strong we are...and how lucky we are!!  I highly recommend.

Wow...this book will put our 2020 in perspective!

And if you need support, reach out.  You are not alone, you are surrounded by lots of kindred spirits...and we are all fingering this out one day at a time.

   Denise Frakes  your life and home coach

 

Why I'm getting up at 5:30am during this quarantine

Why am I getting up at 5:30am, during this quarantine?

 Waking up early is like putting on my own oxygen mask.  You've heard the saying in the airline safety announcement... "put your oxygen mask on first".

 At first when we got asked to stay home, I went into speed drive.  Then I relaxed my normal schedule and started sleeping in.  But an interesting thing happened...my stress when up, my confidence went down. 

So I shifted my own plan.  I don't really like getting out of my nice warm bed any more than you do... but waking up early, drinking hot water and then going for a run or walk starts my day beautiful.  Since I returned to my early wake up and early morning nature... my anxiety and stress have dropped by at least 80%!  That's significant!!!!

What's the law of physics?  Things in motion tend to stay in motion...Things at rest tend to stay at rest?  It's the same for routines and rhythms.
           

Start off well...end well. 

 Start off muddled = end muddled

You may or may not need to wake up early, get am fresh air and keep a clean house... This works for me.  Find your own rhythm.  What works for you.  Maybe you do better with a great night time routine.  Listen to yourself.  Our actions have cause and effects.  This is especially when we are under stress.  The greater the stress the higher the need for better self care.

When I'm on vacation..I can sleep in and eat more junk..apparently but not during a world stress event.  Nope, now I need to wake up early, be at my best and put my oxygen mask on first...

Because the healthier, more confident, vibrant we are.. the better we will be at problem solving, resilience, compassion and supporting others.  This is true for all of us.  

My rules of thumb...

              When I wake up I get up and wash my face

               I go outside...listen, see beauty, smell the flowers and fresh air

               I reach out to others

               Tidy up my home

               Eat healthy...not crap.. drink water

               Relax before I go to sleep

I know it's hard out there.  We are all stressed.  Be kind to yourself.  Practice kind habits.

 I'm here for you!!  

                        Denise

A little less wobbling please...

When walking, just walk. When sitting, just sit. But above all don’t wobble!  Lin Chi

How much do we wobble? 

 Instead of being present, how much of our lives is spent in wobbling mode... trying to do 2-3-4 things at once?  Have you been to a coffee shop lately?  How many of us are sitting with someone...but looking at our cell phones?  How long do we hold focus on a project before we are interrupted...the phone rings, a text or pop up appears, we get hungry?....
We loose our focus...we start wobbling.

If we want to un-stress our lives and be who we are capable of being … become present... an undistracted version of ourselves.  Imagine showing up everyday...fully us.  Not wobbling, but clear, present and engaged.  

listening, tasting, seeing, smelling, feeling... present...

Who could we all become and what are we cable of doing by just reducing distractions and limiting our wobbling?  

When we are going to write...we write

When we do the dishes... we do the dishes

When we watch tv...we watch tv

When we listen...we listen

When we walk... we walk

When we drive... we drive

What a novel idea right?  It is stupidly simple...and yet

Why are we a society of distracted souls?  

More importantly... how do we want to show up in this world?

The truth is, when we are fully ourselves, nourished, happy and healthy, we make the world a better place.  We show up. 

It's usually in the removal that we find true selves... not in the addition of.  Practicing the art of subtraction makes room for our lives to breath and then to flourish.  A life that flourishes has a way of spreading beyond ourselves.  Like the internet, we are a web of connections.  Imagine if all our connectors we clean, happy and healthy working together.  Presently

A morning thought

   from my desk 

       during my own quiet time

un-wobbled space

Denise Frakes...wobbler, runner, writer.....

       

5 habits to raise your home's happiness index

     There is an indescribable joy that happens when you open up a freshly cleaned and thoughtfully stocked refrigerator.  You swing the door open wide, take a big breath and relax.  

Your heart opens up and you smile.... 

this is what creating a nourished and happy home does- it makes you happier

Creating a nourishing home for you, your family, your treasures 

is creating a space for your joy to bloom

    When you pull open your sock drawer and your socks are all happily in place. 

   When company unexpectedly appears at your front door, and you look around to see your home is
 at ease, clean and welcoming  

 

   Your happiness index rises

     When you find a rubber band and you think…I know exactly where that goes.
 I have a home for this!!  A little joy bubbles and wiggles in soul

     When you wake up in the morning to a clean kitchen...because you put it to bed the night before.
  

     When you start to clean your house and
 don't have to spend 3 hours putting things away
   

     When you sit down to have a cup of tea and look around and
 see more things that give you joy than tasks to be done.

     When you snuggle into bed, in a room that feels just right and
 you feel your body and mind relax... 

   Your happiness index rises

 Nourishing homes support our happiness.  A home that feels cozy and relaxes our nervous systems reducing our stress.  Homes like this make us happier.  When we are happy, we are healthier, more at ease.   We process better, communicate better and are more creative.  Life is easier and we feel luckier. 

  Perfection isn't the goal to creating homes that nourish.  Homes are living beings.  They will shift and flow with our lives, the seasons and with how well they are loved and cared for.  If we live in a home that is loved...we feel more loved.  When we create homes that make us happy...that joy is reflected back to us.  When our homes make since, support our life habits, are easy and feel nourishing... we are happier and healthier.

   Happiness is found in creating spaces you love and are loved

5 habits to raise your home's happiness index

       Practice tiny acts of tidiness…. Happy homes come from mindful creating.  They don't wait for the grand gestures or big projects... or cleaning day.  Tiny acts of tidiness happen all the time.  Sinks are wiped down after teeth are brushed, the mail sorted and put way, muddled shoes get a quick touch or order... tiny acts of tidiness.  Our work isn't drudgery but acts of kindness.

     Practices of prevention.  My Aunt Velma was always saying...If you have to swallow a bull frog don't spend too much time looking at it.  Spending time thinking about cleaning or un-cluttering causes stress.  When we gently and lightly clean and put away our days as we go... we have little to do on cleaning day.  Instead of thinking cleaning day... think prevention, prevention, prevention

     Practice Creating little homes…. Think of your home as thousands of tiny homes living within your home.  Putting like items with like items.  Making space for what we use and love the most... in the most honored of spaces. Create homes for your treasures.  Everyone feels better when then belong somewhere.  Plus, knowing where everything lives is a total stress reducer.

    Gather support of kindred spirits and home angels….. by having healthy support system, we up our chances of accomplishing our lists and goals by 65-95%!!! Schedule a house cleaner, a home coach, a handy person to help you.  Schedule company to visit for a party or just a cup of tea.  Take a picture of your work before and after share your accomplishment with a buddy.

    Pause and be openly Curious.  Because we are creatures of habit.  We get lost in the day to day shuffle.   Pause and look around.  Be openly curious.  Pretend you don't live here- who does? What do you see, what do you notice?  Sometimes we have to pause from doing and look at our homes from a new perspective.  What do we love, what are we grateful for?  What are we done with?

 How do you feel in your home?  More importantly how do you want to feel??

  Our habits can uplift or deplete.  They don't care... they are here to make our brains work less, conserve energy and help us repeat the patterns we create.  By creating new patterns and ways of looking at our home and lives we wake up.  We shake off the cobwebs of the day to day grind. 
Housekeeping is exactly what we think it is... happiness or work.  I choose happiness...most days. 

Not every day is easy, but by habitually loving your work and home...happiness starts to become the habit.  This is a beautiful thing.

Action:  Look around your home.  What do you see?  What do you love?  How do you feel.  Just notice.  No judgement here.  Think of your 5 year old self and see with curiosity.  This is a great place to start.  Let me know what you discover!

You can do this!  Life is too short to get squished by housework. 
          Denise Frakes
            your life and home coach

How to create breathing space...for 2020

Pausing...
Do you feel like your life is rushing by? Like there is no space to breathe, to play, to create, to love?  It's just task, errand, work, TV, sleep...Facebook videos...What do we do with our time?  Do we even know?

I love my work... I get to explore and play with these questions everyday.  How can we make cleaning our homes not only healthy and efficient but enjoyable and nourishing?  How can we love our lives and have room to play in any weather and any season?

Pausing...do you pause?  Or rush from task to task, from action to action to rest and then up and going again.  Do we let our breath complete it's cycle, our food space to digest, our minds space to wonder and ponder?  Do we think of our lives as circles repeating or a race to run?

As the new year rolls around, I'm fascinated by our habits.  I live in the world of habits.  Most of my coaching is around not goals but daily habits.   Cleaning, breathing, un-cluttering, health, happiness, creating space to ....????

These are lifestyle habits more than goal driven actions.  A lifestyle action focuses more on the practice of doing... to get the outcome you wish.  A goal driven action focuses on the end result. I believe in enjoying the journey...and arriving where we wish to go.

 Pausing gives our daily music form.   We relax our bodies, untangle our minds and let our natural beauty have space to be.  Think of time as a circle instead of a destination.  Our destinations are all the same...we will all pass away.  This is life.  If we focus on the circles within our life's journey, we give ourselves space to play, to nourish and improve our life skills.

Where are the circles?  And what do they have to do with Pausing?
    Circles...each minute is 60 seconds, an hour 60 minutes, a day 24 hours, a week, 7 days a month 30 days, a season 3 months, a year 12 months...After each segment- we circle back to the beginning.  We are back to January.  Circles give us rhythm.  They give us natural measurements.  They move with the seasons and are ever shifting with the seasons.
    Pausing...is learning to pause within the circles.  To pause between projects, at the beginning of each new day...at the end.  Pausing before we eat to be thankful and present.  Pausing before we begin to visualize how we want this segment to go...how we want to feel.  Pausing at the end of a cycle a circle to ask...how did this go?  What could we have done differently, what did we love?

  The truth is each second is a gift.  No matter what we are doing, it is our lives.  Our lives are impermanent, imperfect and uniquely our own..we share this with others.  Learning to pause between the circles... to be present and to relax.

  When we are in a relaxed and receptive state we are more intuitive.  When we are happy we are healthier, our ability to problem solve higher, our natural ease of connection is improved.
When we learn to pause, we let our bodies relax... We hop off the treadmill and go wash dishes. And then we have a conversation.  We put down our cell phones, turn off the marathon tv series.  We put down our fork and smile.  We create space to create.

When we pause, we give our lives space.  By thinking in terms of circles.  We can practice being and living instead of racing.  This is not a practice of wondering around. we still have a vision of our future and how we want to feel.  The practice of pausing and feeling makes the path more enjoyable.  And when we get to our destination we are not out of breath, exhausted and depleted by life... but nourished each step along the way.

We live in abundance.  Sometimes we need to pause from abundance to breathe.  To create nourishment instead of gathering more.

Do this...

Practice pausing.  3 times a day for 3 minutes each pause.  Become still. listen, breath, smile, relax your shoulders, breathe deeper and slower.  Soften your eyes, relax your neck, soften your belly and stand tall. gently put your shoulder blades down from your ears and into your back pockets.  Listen... Listen what do you hear?  How does your body feel?
                Finish with saying a little blessing or kindness to someone or something.
                See your world as you wish it to be.

And this... create a home for your pause... first thing in the morning, before sleep, before you eat... when you pee, between projects... find a home for your pause.

And then do this...  Let me know how it goes.  Do this for a week.  or a day.. how did it feel.  Try it again tomorrow...

         Happy Pausing,
               Denise Frakes- life and home coach

What day should you clean your house?

I have given this question a tremendous amount of thought... Seriously, odd amounts of ponderings. When I was a kid, my mom cleaned on Saturdays...which meant I cleaned on Saturdays.  Over the years I've tried cleaning on Saturdays- all times, Monday mornings, Tuesday afternoons, Sunday nights, hardly ever on Thursdays and Friday mornings.

I explore cleaning...it's a thing … My quest has been long and deep

Cleaning re-boots our lives and un-muddles our homes.  It creates a cozy, nourishing space to rest and play.  Cleaning is even one of the 7 essentials for a healthy home.  I can go on and on...you know I can.  I've written about cleaning on this blog for 10 years!  A kindly cleaned home is good for the soul.  This I get, no question there is value of what cleaning does for our lives.  But...

When do we clean???

The when of cleaning...here are my discoveries from a life of cleaning as a practice...

Cleaning needs space.  If I don't have a designated time and day to clean, cleaning gets put off and before I know it my house is muddled, dust bunnies run wild and I no longer have a cozy life.  Having a rhythm to this practice of cleaning- creates a natural ease in your life.  Cleaning needs space- consistent time just for cleaning...putting your life back in order.

 Early Friday morning is my favorite time.

    Each day of the week has a natural energy to it.  It's like what farmers do when they plant with the moon's rhythms.   There is a time to grow, to weed, to plant and a time to rest. The days of the week have a similar feel.  Friday's has the energy of completion for the week, love and art.  This is the perfect energy for cleaning.  I get my home in order and I use cleaning as a lovely practice of love and artistic play.  Super early Fridays morning is my absolutely my preferred space for home TLC

 When I need my creativity to be ignited.  

   Cleaning jump starts my brain for writing and creating.  If I want to write about cleaning, or give a talk on clutter, the best way to dig in is to start with cleaning. We get ideas when we shower, go on walks, cook etc.  By getting out of our brain and into methodical physical movement, our brains relax and our creativity gets a kick start. Cleaning cleans my brain.

 When I'm stressed, feeling ungrounded or don't know where to start... I clean.

    Cleaning is the great de-stressor.  Having my home in order makes me feel like my life is in order... When my home is messy...it's usually a sign my life is going in too many directions.  Cleaning brings me back to center and relaxes my nervous system.  When my thoughts are muddled, I organize my books and paper.  I use cleaning as productive therapy.

For 2 hours. 

   Like all things, cleaning will take up whatever time I give it.  I like two hours.  By cleaning in a designated 2 hour block, my mind will stay clear and focused.  I will get whatever needs done- done.  And here is the bonus...by only giving myself 2 hours to clean, I focus more on prevention during the week so when I do clean I have less to do.  Be firm with yourself- set a time boundary for your cleaning and then be super focused and present when you do clean.  (shut off distractions)

 

After and before... 
   After a big project or event, cleaning re-grounds me and re-boots my space.  After a trip, work project, party... my home and life need to be cleaned up and put away before I move on.  On the opposite side, I clean before I begin a project or have an event.  I did extra cleaning before we had thanksgiving at our house.  This type of cleaning is more like a project and event related vs weekly maintenance.  Having a clean home helps you welcome people into your home---with less stress.

Did that help?  Here is the thing.  Cleaning is a gift or it is a burden.  It supports you or depletes you.  How you do your work has more to do with your attitude, habits and wisdom than it does the actual work.  It is what we say it is.

Happy cleaning,
          Denise... traveler of life chores and dust bunnies

How to Activate Your Super Power in Work

Go from focus to play & ignite your super power

 According to Cal Newport, in his book Deep Work, our ability to work fully focused and undistracted is a super power.  According to Brandon Burchard in his book High Performance Habits, taking a productive pause between focused working segments is just as important.

 Focused Deep Work will catapult us forward on our projects and out of overwhelm.

The Intentional Pause will keep our minds sharp and let us finish our day invigorated. 

I agree!

"Deep work is the ability to focus without distraction on a cognitively demanding task. It’s a skill that allows you to quickly master complicated information and produce better results in less time. Deep work will make you better at what you do and provide the sense of true fulfillment that comes from craftsmanship. In short, deep work is like a super power in our increasingly competitive twenty-first century economy." Cal Newport  Deep Work

The practice of deep work
 100% fully present
 monotasking - one very specific project or task
set timer
phones off
social media off
tv off
all interruptions paused
task - goal clear
focus 100 % on project
Benefit- super power activated

The practice of intentional pausing 
100% present and unplugged from focused task
set timer 5-10-15 minutes
step outside
stretch- move:  especially if you have been sitting at a desk
hydrating and balancing your blood sugar
breathe from your belly
play, throw a ball,  juggle, skip, dance
take a short walk
Look at nature
Eat your lunch outside- away from your desk
Focus 100% away from work
Benefit- super power activated

Repeat throughout your workday or project

 When your timer goes off. Stop!
 Step away from your desk or project.   Think recess, play, shut off brain

Set your timer for the pause too.  Distractions are everywhere- even in our play

Value and commit to pausing as much as you are to the work.
The Pause is equally as important as the work itself.

The pause is what will keep your mind sharp and your energy strong.  It is what will help you finish the day refreshed.

By becoming fully present and pausing we give our brains a chance to turn on their super powers.

Challenge:
Try deep work and intentional pausing for a day.  Let me know how it goes.
This practice is incredibly effective on mentally challenging tasks but equally helpful on boring or mundane tasks.   This practice of focusing on and then off, can be used on any task from writing a grant, downsizing your paper clutter, to even watching TV.  The most important part is to become present, fully intentional of your task and setting your timer to help you focus and then reboot.

Find more joy... look up!

How we see the world is often how the world is...

Where do your eyes go when you have an idea?  Where do your eyes look when you are happy or feeling awe?  UP.  Over time our eyes, like us, can become fatigued - weighed down with gravity.

January 1st, I joined Donna Eden in her 31 day eye challenge.  It was an easy challenge.  Over the 31 days in January, she posted daily 3-10 minute videos on YouTube.  Each video demonstrated the same 8 exercise repeated over and over again by different practitioners.  I did the exercise along with Donna, her family and students around the world.   Easy!

The eye exercises weren't new.  I had taken the Energy 101 and 102 courses about 8 years ago.  These exercises were part of that course.   Over the years I dabbled here and there but not much happened...I was too random and not consistent enough.

As I type this, I have been doing these exercises for 37 days.  I'm absolutely stunned by my eyes.  Here were the benefits the class said you might gain from doing the exercises.  Good enough right?  But what I'm experiencing is so beyond this list!

• Eye fatigue and strain
• Red, itchy, watery eyes
• Swollen eyes
• Headaches
• Allergies with eye-related symptoms
• Eye-related conditions such as glaucoma and cataracts
• The need for prescription eye glasses and/or contacts

I was expecting my eyes to feel less fatigued and maybe be able to see better.  But what I'm experiencing goes way beyond red and itchy eyes.  My upper vision has expanded.  I see up more.  When I'm walking I find myself looking up to the tops of the trees, out into the horizon.  In stores I see the whole store.  My eyes are more open.  It feels like I had an eye lift without any surgery.  I feel younger in spirit.  When I look in the mirror my eyes shine back at me.  

These exercises are magical.  I'm posting a few of the class videos- they are available on YouTube.  Also, check out Edenmedicine for more classes for your whole body.  Thank you Donna Eden!!

Try it for yourself.  Do the exercises everyday for 31 days.  Once you get the hang of it they can take as little as 2 minutes to complete.

The big improvements came from light and consistent practice.   A habit of bright and shining eyes!!  I have no idea what you will experience, but if it's close to what I'm experiencing- you are going to love me!!!   Habits are all about persistently and consistency.  its only 3 minutes - day

Day 4 of 31 eye exercises with Melanie Smith

Day 9 of 31 eye exercises with Eva Gold

Day 21 of 31 eye exercises with Helen McCarren

Day 30 of 31 eye exercises with Donna Eden

PS.  These exercise do not take the place of your eye doctor or in any way give medical advice.  This is an a exercise, a practice.  I'm finding great joy and benefit from this practice and wanted to share with my community, friends and family.  Enjoy

Happy smiling with bright and beautiful eyes.

             Denise

Life is stressful- use cleaning as a moving meditation

    Have you ever had one of those days?  You know the kind I'm talking about.  Where life seems a wee bit irksome and your next step a little shaky?  Yup- that's the day.

    When in doubt, clean.  Cleaning is a form of space clearing.  It shifts energy, refreshes your space and reboots not only your environment but often your attitude.  Cleaning is a moving form of meditation.  Your mind is focused on the task at hand.  The methodical movement of cleaning gives your frazzled thoughts a place to land. 

    Meditation is a proven stress buster, but not everyone has time to set aside for meditation.  Even if you have the time, you may be uncomfortable sitting still.  Cleaning meditations are for active minds and busy lives.

    Where to begin.  Get out your timer.  Set the alarm for 10-20- 30 minutes.  Pick a task:  clean out a drawer, a bookcase, do the dishes, dust, vacuum, clean the toilets, wash windows.  The activity isn't as important as the action.  Set your timer, shut off facebook, texting and phone calls.  Open up your windows, let fresh air in and get a moving.

   While you clean, be mindful of posture, breath and the action at hand.  Keep returning thoughts to your project, your breath and posture.  When the alarm rings, smile, stretch your hands above your head and pat yourself on the back- well done.

   If you have more time to meditate- reset timer and begin again.  When you are finished meditating, you will also have accomplished a task and had a work out!

 

If you want to take your meditations to the next level... Practice random kindness and senseless acts of beauty as you clean.

Chasing happiness

I have a confession to make.  Last year, I thought I would learn to be happy.  I practiced happy.  I searched for happy. Funny thing is I was happier before I started trying to be happy.  I was already happy...until I tried to be happy...

 Science backs being happy.  When we are happy we are the opposite of chronically stressed.  We are all healthier, stronger and clearer.  We are more curious and creative.  We are more prosperous, gratefully and resilient.  We are everything we hope... and yet,,  Happiness isn't a thing.  Happiness is the end of a rainbow.  It's the pot of gold. 

Chasing happiness is like chasing a rainbow- hoping to capture the pot of gold.  But just like a rainbow happiness is elusive.  It moves, it shift and teases- I'm over here.

Happiness is not a destination it is a rainbow.  Can we be happy?  Absolutely, but happiness only comes in the present moment.  It is not a thing it is a state of being.  In a 24 hour period, we may have 10 moments of ease, 23 moments of gratitude, 15 moments of discouragement, 2 moments of joy, and one really powerful moment of fear which ends up taking over the rest of our day.

In one day there are 24 hours, 1,440 minutes and 86,400 seconds.  How long is a moment?

Our goal maybe should be to be present for as many of those moments as we can.  Isn't being present where the pot of gold really is?  It is the present of being alive.  When we are present we are connected.  We are alive.  We see the world.  We are in the world, not lost in yesterday, not wondering about the future and not chasing rainbows. 

What if in any day there are 18 moments that take your breathe away by their beauty?  Don't you want to be there?

Take a moment now...

Write what makes you happy.  Write for 10 minutes non stop, no editing, write continually.  Write about what make you happy.  Happiness is the awareness of what we love.  Discovering what we love.   Cultivating our passions, feeling gratitude and love.  Happiness is sitting with my dog Sally rubbing her soft brown and white speckled ears, seeing close her eyes and absorb.  Happiness isn't a thing, it is a moment.  When you feel happiness know that that moment is a gift.  We are not entitled to be happy.  Maybe our practice isn't to be happy but to cultivate beautiful moments and then be present to witness those moments.  Discover your moments.

A funny thing happened on the way to being happy... I forgot to be.  Practice the art of being and when you next see a rainbow pause and enjoy the moment.

Let go of being happy, be curious, be present and grateful and see if this elusive thing called happiness doesn't come visit.

        With love,
                  Denise

Pause ...just for a second and breathe

This morning I slept in.  I opened my eyes to sunshine.  I started the morning by smiling for no other reason beyond the moment.  My kitty Penny joined me.  She kneeded the bed and purred. I rubbed her belly and smiled.  The birds sang outside, the sun was shining.  It felt like a little moment of heaven.  There were no bands or fireworks but there was a deep sence of love.  Love of the moment.

I went outside this morning.  It is already warm.  I just stood in our back yard and was.  The leaves were lit by the sun.  Birds singing their songs.  The air filled with spring and lilacs.  My to do list will have to wait a few minutes.  I am busy.

It has been a while since I felt such peace.  There is a time to do, to achieve to build and create.  But there also needs to be a time to Be:  To love, to smell lilacs, to be content with sunshine and birds singing.

I don't know how to change the world.  But this morning I discovered again how to Be in this moment.

May you remember to pause today and just Be.  The power of life when you let yourself Be in the moment is why we try so hard to live.
       Denise

The irony of cleaning and life

As you probably already know, January 5 of this year we sold the cleaning part of our business to DA Burns of Seattle.  After 25 years of being a professional cleaner-among other things-I'm now a retired cleaner.   Laughing hysterically!!  There is no such thing as a retired cleaner.  Every morning I get up and brush my teeth, take a shower, clean my clothes, wash dishes, clean house, clean out the car, clean out my files, clean out my to-do list and my in box.  Actually the only thing I have stopped when in comes to cleaning is getting paid to clean!!!  Now any cleaning I do is for free.  I'm a volunteer cleaner.

Does anyone besides me see the irony in this?

Tonight after cleaning out files all day, I cleaned my office.  After "stopping" my cleaning profession, I took a bit of a vacation from my normal everyday cleaning.  After all, I'm done cleaning, right?  If only!!!!  Life goes on and someone forgot to tell the dust bunnies I don't clean anymore.

Here is the thing.  Cleaning is good for the soul.  No matter how much you would love to give away your to-do list of cleaning.  Cleaning makes your life feel better.  It freshen up your space and therefore it freshens up your spirit.  Cleaning brings clarity to your life and helps life make sense.

For most of my life cleaning seems to have followed me around.  No matter how hard I have tried to ignore her, forget about her, turn my back on her and even despise her, she is always there for me.  She is forever gently prodding me and offering me her wisdom.

As a girl on the farm, cleaning was on the very bottom of the totem pole.  It was the last thing I wanted to do when there were fences to build and cows to feed.   But somehow almost magically, I became a professional cleaner.  Can you imagine that?  Now after 25 years as a professional cleaner I have officially given up cleaning as my profession.   And yet as I put thoughts to paper, it is pretty clear, cleaning is going to continue to be part of my life.

As I write this I remember when my grandma Lois was in her 90's, she told me "Denise, when it comes to cleaning, you might as well make the best of your time because it isn't going anywhere".

Now that I don't get paid to actually clean, maybe I can become a cleaning philosopher?  A cleaning writer.  Maybe a writer that tells good clean jokes!!  I don't know, but I'm guessing my life as a cleaner is not complete, I am not retired.  I just moved my stuff around so I could look at cleaning from yet another angle.

From my cleaning closet to yours, I wish your path of life's little chores to be one of friendship and not dread.
   Denise