Coming out of our COVID cocoons

  We are richer with poetry, kindred spirits and traveling partners.  Trying to be perfect, is not as much fun as a gritty, imperfect and quirky authentic soul.  When she stepped out of her own shadow...delightful friends appeared.  It's time to start moving out of our COVID cocoons to discover who we have transformed into over the last year plus!

                        Denise... Happy traveling my friends.

What Happens

What happens when your soul

Begins to awaken

Your eyes and your heart

And the cells of your body

To the great journey of Love?

First there is wonderful laughter

And probably precious tears

And a hundred sweet promises

And those hectic vows

No one can ever keep.

But still the Beloved is delighted and amused

That you try to be a saint.

What happens when your soul begins to awake in this world

To your deep need to love and to serve Life?

O, the Beloved Will send you

Wonderful and Wild companions!

   Hafiz

Sit still and be interesting

"When I run after what I think I want, my days are a furnace of stress and anxiety.

If I sit in my own place of patience, what I need flows to me and without pain.

From this I understand that what I want also wants me, is looking for me and attracting me."

Rumi

 When I was a kid, my job (self imposed) was to help tame our baby calves and barn kittens.  It didn't take long to learn that if I chased them...they ran.  It was when I got still, sat and did something interesting that they would come to me.   When I think of Rumi's words, I know it to be true.  Denise stop chasing, sit still, be interesting and wait for my little friends to come visit me.

    Just a thought, when you feel like you should "go after"  your dreams.

                                                    Denise

Joy is like a muscle...a muscle that needs exercise

 "Joy is a Devine quality of our true self, which is inherently lighthearted, playful and free. You can see the full expression of this joy in young children who haven't learned to worry or take themselves too seriously.  They play and laugh freely, finding wonder in the smallest things. They are infinitely creative because they haven't yet build up the layers of conditioning that creates limitations and restrictions"          Deepak Chopra

Don't wait for joy to come.  Joy is a muscle.  If you want to get in joyful shape...you need to exercise your joy muscles.  Action is required.  Reading a book about joy or wishing for it doesn't do anything unless a little action is included.  Life is richer and way more fun, when joy is part of your daily workout. This is one reason I love clutter clearing as part of my coaching. When done correctly, Clutter clearing is a joyful act.  It creates a lighter home.  It's good for your spirit!  It is productive.  Creating a refreshed space, an authentic and nourishing space is an act of love.

I tell my clients all the time...this will be fun.  You should see the sideway glances I get. But it's true. I know it in my bones. I see it over an over again. I feel it.  Joyful work is good medicine.  And good medicine can be joyful work!

A little bit of exercise done consistently overtime...creates healthy bodies and joyful spirits.  It takes time to clean off life's residues and let your natural joy, your essence shine through.  This is a journey of discovery.  If you are cleaning out your home or igniting your joy..it is a process.  A delightful and awe inspiring journey.  One that when done consistently...even just a smidgen at a time...will give you blessings in buckets.

Today, add a splash of joy to your day.  Dance to a little music, sing a song, go outside and look for new discoveries, clean out one book shelf.  Send a note of gratitude to a friend.  Play hop scotch...throw ball.  Simple...yes!  Good for the soul?  You bet!  Dance a little dance...everyday...smile for no reason.  Watch a comedy...just play.  And then do it again tomorrow.  

                            Wishing you a joyful journey,

                                        Denise Frakes  Home and Life Coaching...joyfully done!

 

Change your focus...sit down and listen to the sea!

 This morning I woke up to a state full of fires, smoke, social rage, COVID, economic unease, and a hot political season...and I woke up to a purring kitty, a morning, my family, a cup of hot water and a batch of beet soup waiting to be created.

A few years ago, I traveled to Iona Scotland on a pilgrimage.  It was exactly that, not exactly a vacation, more of an adventure in traveling and weather...and some absolutely delightful people and delicious tea and scones.

While we were on the Island, we discovered an old land fill with hidden treasures from a lost time.  Why I was so captivated by an old dump, is just me and very wabi sabi   This dump, was in the north side of Iona- a very small island.  My traveling mates and I discovered it and then I tried to find in on my own.  I wandered around searching for the "dump". 

A little back story, Iona old with a long history. It is know as a place with a very thin veil...meaning your ability to connect outside of this normal life we lead is natural here.  As I was wondering and looking, a voice popped into my head- a clear and authoritative voice

    "Denise stop looking for the dump.  Sit down and listen to the sea!"  These were more like marching orders instead of a internal suggestion.  It woke me up. I looked up.  In front of me, beyond the blowing grass and hidden dump was the sea.  It was beautiful, colorful and full of energy... I looked down a perfectly cut out from the grass bank... right in front of me, was a place to sit and listen to the sea.

Since that day, when I get lost looking for the "dump" I remember those words and think.  "Denise, stop looking for the dump.  Sit down and listen to the sea."

Today is such a day.  Yes, there is a lot going on.  A majestic level of unrest...and yet, it is essential we don't put all our focus on what is wrong, or dangerous, or unsettling... that we also put some time aside to sit down and listen to the sea, or make a batch of beet soup, or dance to an old song, or write a blog. 

Where ever you are today, I wish you and yours safety, love and health...and I also share the words from Iona Scotland.... "stop looking for the dump...sit down and listen to the sea!" 

        From my home to yours, may you be safe, healthy and a wee bit curious to what the sea has to say,     

                                Denise Frakes

       

     

September Resolutions...authentic requests of the soul

 September Resolutions....make more sense than our traditional January resolutions.  Is it just me or do you too feel like you are already behind by the time your resolutions are made in Jan? Spring is right around the corner, you hit the new year running...even if your spirit and body want to hibernate. Is that anyway to begin anything?

  As September rolled in, I was once again drawn my Simple Abundance book.  I've had this book for years and yet, when it calls my name, it is timely and spot on.  If you have this book go to Sept 1st's entry.  Turning over a new leaf.  

   Sarah reminds us September has been the beginning not ending of the year since ancient times.  When did we change that?  Traditionally, September was the time for reflection, atonement and pausing to look at our lives.  What do we do? What have we done? What are we called to do?

  "What we need in autumn is an emotional or spiritual shot in the arm."  Katharine Elizabeth Fite wrote in Good Housekeeping in 1949, urging the beginning of a new tradition for women: personal and positive resolutions in September. "Why do you suppose so many of us waste the autumn? Why don't we make the effort that would provide something new in our lives?"  January's negative resolutions "are made when we are worn out in spirit, body, and pocketbook, and have no real urge to do anything but rest."

   "It seems to me that January resolutions are about will; September resolutions are about authentic wants.  What do you want more or less of in your life, so that you can love the life you're leading?"

   "The beauty of autumnal resolutions is that no one else knows we're making them.  Autumnal resolutions don't require horns, confetti, and champagne.  September resolutions ask only that we be open to positive change."            September 1st Simple Abundance  Sarah Ban Breathnach.

   Sarah published Simple Abundance in 1995- 25 years ago.  Katharine Elizabeth Fite wrote about  September resolutions in 1949 - 71 years ago.  Wise advise is timeless! 

  September brings change in the seasons and weather...and with these changes we naturally have a desire to shift, to prepare for winter, to make big pots of soup and create cozy homes.  To clean out our homes, our garden and lives so the new year lands softly and not like a thud on our tired hearts.

   2020 and COVID, made resolutions and goals almost seem comical.  Most of our "plans and goals" got quarantined.  These kind of goals and resolutions are not what we are talking about.  This is the season to clean out, to prep, to let go of what doesn't feed us, to create space for authentic spiritual requests of mind, body and soul.  

I highly recommend taking a day, a hour, a breath in your September to go within and ask yourself.  What do you need to do this autumn to pave the way for a kind winter, a beautiful beginning to 2021?

We all know how much we can't control...but we are not helpless in this world.  By creating a vision and space for our spirit and authentic wants...just maybe we can create a simply abundant 2021.

   May your new year be sweet and inspired.  Now is the time to create your life...quietly,

              Denise Frakes

  

     

Easy Mask Cleaning...reducing acne and residues

 Masks are part of our lives...for the time being anyway.  Taking care of our masks and making sure they are free of contaminates and chemical residue is essential.

Contaminates get in our system three main ways.  We breathe them in, absorb them into our skin or ingest them because our masks are on our faces...keeping our masks clean and free of contaminates is essential! And super easy. 

 I've created two quick videos to first tell you why this is essential...and secondly how to clean your masks - the easy and residue free way

                                        What you may not know about your mask... 2.3 minute video on the why

 Super easy, portable cleaning demo on mask cleaning... the easy and residue free way.

Lots of things have changed over the past few months.  The basics of cleaning remain the same.  Clean easy and residue free.  

        stay clean and safe out there.  Denise

                     

When you wobble...dig deep. Be a dandelion!

I've been smitten with dandelions ever since I can remember.  This little weed, she inspires me. Her determination to thrive in any condition, to bloom wherever she is planted, speaks to me.

We are living in wild times.  We have to decide if we are going to bloom or whither.  Nature teaches us how to be resilient, how to thrive in storms and come back from fires.  How to bloom on our own.  We are more resilient than we know.

I love dandelions because of their feisty spirits.  When I start to wobble...and of course I do wobble, slump and grieve....and then I think: "Be a Dandelion Denise".

The wisdom of Dandelion

My tap root runs deep. It is strong. When I need nourishment or water I dig deep into the earth.

Try to pull me up...my root may snap, but that is only temporary.  Before long I will be blooming again ... stronger, brighter, more joyfully.

My roots are medicinal, I am meant to heal

My leaves are nourishing, I am food

My flower is bright yellow. I bring joy

I'm the first to bloom in the spring and one of the last to bloom into winter.  If I get planted in tall grass, I will shoot my blooms up high so I can see. I will explode thousands of seeds. I have faith at least one will find soil.

Not everyone understands my value.  By most, I'm considered a weed and yet I don't mind. I continue to multiply and grow despite the effort to quiet me.  I don't need much to bloom. You can find me growing in unlikely places.  I grow in ditches. I bloom on freeway walls...with nothing to hang onto but a handful of dirt...I will bloom no matter where I find myself. It is my gift.

I'm a determined and feisty soul. I am who I am, and I like my spirit. I will thrive in any climate, any season, any location.  I am tender and strong.  I am bouquets of love given by tiny hands.

I am the definition of resiliency.  I am medicine. I am nourishment. I am spirited. I am beautiful. I am bright, I am happy. I am authentically me.  I am a dandelion. 

This is what I think when I need to dig in deep and bloom... in uncertain times ... let your roots dig in deep, your spirit bloom.  Don't ask permission or wait for the perfect conditions. 

We have one life and this is it!  Let's bloom where we are planted!  Be a dandelion! Be whatever you need to be...listen to your heart, your spirit, your joy.  Let's find ways to thrive, re-create, to connect, bloom, grow, share.  We all have it in us.  That feisty, wild spirit... this spirit we need to listen to.  The world needs our blooms!

No matter what the world is doing, in spite what is going on around us- bloom!

    Denise...I'm digging in right next to you!

Moving Slow...builds strength

Last night I could barely walk...most likely I have plantar fasciitis.  Even though it's extremely painful.  I know it is also a less in listening.  As I'm laying in bed, not wanting to get out and step down..I started thinking. How I decide this injury to be will be what it becomes.  Just like cleaning.  Cleaning can be a chore, a practice, a struggle, a gift.  How I look at an object or activity gives me my own meaning.  What if this injury is a Divine gift?  What if it is catapults me forward in the right direction?  What if it is the answer to a prayer?

When I walk very slowly, take tiny steps, mindfully and with beautifully tall posture...my foot has some relief.  I can move.  While I'm moving slow in my own home, to the north of me, my beautiful sister...who just had her little boy Penrhyn, a couple weeks ago😊, is also moving slow.  A leg injury from giving birth.  There is no option for either of us but to move slow...and keep going forward.

In one of my favorite books, Born to Run, Christopher McDougal talks about a Japanese training style for long distance runners. They train first by learning to walk ultra slow.  I would guess this gives your body a wisdom of movement, of core strength, built not just by the big and powerful muscles but also by the tiny and essential micro muscles and fascia.  Of which I have probably overruled most of my life. Overruled and ignored so I can move fast, while my mind over thinks and my body presses on. 

Choosing to shift my thinking from being injured to a new form of training shifts my emotions.  This shift my seem insignificant.  1 degree in another direction changes everything.  The shift is enormous.  Instead of fear, frustration and despair, I'm instantly transported in to curious, learning and exploration.  I'm in training.

My injury is ripe with a real world metaphor.  The tiny muscles of our body...can be over powered for a while but not forever.  Imbalance happen and when imbalance happens, our body/communities/country will at some point adjust. When ignored,the re-alignment is painful and untimely.   There is a natural flow of the universe...to come back to balance. 

Yesterday on my way home from a run, I was busy texting and calling people... I was far from present.  I pride myself in being present and loving my runs and nature...but I ran past my body talking to me, She tried to get me to listen...I ignored her.  This is what I have to say for myself

I'm sorry, please forgive me

Thank you, I love you

I'm listening

This Hawaiian prayer can be used for anything.  Today it is for my foot, our country, my spirit and those in the world I have ignored.  I thank Christopher McDougall for sharing this ancient practice of training ultra slow, to remind me that slow and mindful is not moving backwards but a legitimate way of moving forward. Life, when done fully present, builds a balanced and healthy foundation of both the tiny muscles and the large ones.  

May your journey be kind and wise...even when moving slowly.

            Denise

Wabi-Sabi Beauty

Rebooting our Immune System

Good morning, It's early Sat morning as I writing you.  How are you doing this morning?  We are in some strange and stressful times.  How are you managing all this?  I've found I have days of feeling super confident and powerful which will be followed by a day of wondering and low energy.  I know this is normal, it is stress showing up.  We all have stress.  The stress level of our entire world has exponentially increased.

Yesterday I was reading one of my favorite books.  Born to Run- if you follow me, you know I'm a huge fan of journeys. exploration, nature, human nature and running... this book has it all in spades.  It's about modern day ultra athletes and an ancient running people the Tarahumara.  On page 37 they are talking about a group of Tarahumara who started living the modern life...with it came foods they had "rarely eaten - soda, chocolate, rice, sugar, butter, flower.  They developed a taste for starch and treats.....that was twenty years ago. "Now, there are no runners in Yerbabuena."  What I know for sure...Food is Medicine.  Food can also be a thief.  Poor food choices steal our health.

This passage struck a cord with me.  I've been giving myself more than normal treats, comfort foods, baked goods, chocolate, butter... rich foods.  My body doesn't work as well on these foods. My brain gets foggy.  My immune system isn't as powerful.  I know eating has a tremendous impact of my own vitality.  I've known this for years.  Just because we know something doesn't mean we always are perfect- hardly. 

 Nutrition and stress are directly linked.  Up your nutrition...your stress decreases...lower your nutrition...your stress will increase.

I run a pretty clean personal health ship because I like to feel good.  When I'm stressed, I up my self care...which includes nourishing foods. foods that reduce my own stress.  Lately I'm feeling signs of high stress... I'm more emotional, fuzzy brained, up's and downs in my energy, lowered decision making... that's my body, mind and spirit talking to me.  I'm listening...

I invite you to join me.  For the next two weeks, I'll be upping self care and lowering things I know drop my vitality, focus and immunity.  Two weeks isn't very long. It's doable.  I know from experience rebooting my vitality is priceless.- it is essential.  

Why I'm getting up at 5:30am during this quarantine

Why am I getting up at 5:30am, during this quarantine?

 Waking up early is like putting on my own oxygen mask.  You've heard the saying in the airline safety announcement... "put your oxygen mask on first".

 At first when we got asked to stay home, I went into speed drive.  Then I relaxed my normal schedule and started sleeping in.  But an interesting thing happened...my stress when up, my confidence went down. 

So I shifted my own plan.  I don't really like getting out of my nice warm bed any more than you do... but waking up early, drinking hot water and then going for a run or walk starts my day beautiful.  Since I returned to my early wake up and early morning nature... my anxiety and stress have dropped by at least 80%!  That's significant!!!!

What's the law of physics?  Things in motion tend to stay in motion...Things at rest tend to stay at rest?  It's the same for routines and rhythms.
           

Start off well...end well. 

 Start off muddled = end muddled

You may or may not need to wake up early, get am fresh air and keep a clean house... This works for me.  Find your own rhythm.  What works for you.  Maybe you do better with a great night time routine.  Listen to yourself.  Our actions have cause and effects.  This is especially when we are under stress.  The greater the stress the higher the need for better self care.

When I'm on vacation..I can sleep in and eat more junk..apparently but not during a world stress event.  Nope, now I need to wake up early, be at my best and put my oxygen mask on first...

Because the healthier, more confident, vibrant we are.. the better we will be at problem solving, resilience, compassion and supporting others.  This is true for all of us.  

My rules of thumb...

              When I wake up I get up and wash my face

               I go outside...listen, see beauty, smell the flowers and fresh air

               I reach out to others

               Tidy up my home

               Eat healthy...not crap.. drink water

               Relax before I go to sleep

I know it's hard out there.  We are all stressed.  Be kind to yourself.  Practice kind habits.

 I'm here for you!!  

                        Denise

5 habits to raise your home's happiness index

     There is an indescribable joy that happens when you open up a freshly cleaned and thoughtfully stocked refrigerator.  You swing the door open wide, take a big breath and relax.  

Your heart opens up and you smile.... 

this is what creating a nourished and happy home does- it makes you happier

Creating a nourishing home for you, your family, your treasures 

is creating a space for your joy to bloom

    When you pull open your sock drawer and your socks are all happily in place. 

   When company unexpectedly appears at your front door, and you look around to see your home is
 at ease, clean and welcoming  

 

   Your happiness index rises

     When you find a rubber band and you think…I know exactly where that goes.
 I have a home for this!!  A little joy bubbles and wiggles in soul

     When you wake up in the morning to a clean kitchen...because you put it to bed the night before.
  

     When you start to clean your house and
 don't have to spend 3 hours putting things away
   

     When you sit down to have a cup of tea and look around and
 see more things that give you joy than tasks to be done.

     When you snuggle into bed, in a room that feels just right and
 you feel your body and mind relax... 

   Your happiness index rises

 Nourishing homes support our happiness.  A home that feels cozy and relaxes our nervous systems reducing our stress.  Homes like this make us happier.  When we are happy, we are healthier, more at ease.   We process better, communicate better and are more creative.  Life is easier and we feel luckier. 

  Perfection isn't the goal to creating homes that nourish.  Homes are living beings.  They will shift and flow with our lives, the seasons and with how well they are loved and cared for.  If we live in a home that is loved...we feel more loved.  When we create homes that make us happy...that joy is reflected back to us.  When our homes make since, support our life habits, are easy and feel nourishing... we are happier and healthier.

   Happiness is found in creating spaces you love and are loved

5 habits to raise your home's happiness index

       Practice tiny acts of tidiness…. Happy homes come from mindful creating.  They don't wait for the grand gestures or big projects... or cleaning day.  Tiny acts of tidiness happen all the time.  Sinks are wiped down after teeth are brushed, the mail sorted and put way, muddled shoes get a quick touch or order... tiny acts of tidiness.  Our work isn't drudgery but acts of kindness.

     Practices of prevention.  My Aunt Velma was always saying...If you have to swallow a bull frog don't spend too much time looking at it.  Spending time thinking about cleaning or un-cluttering causes stress.  When we gently and lightly clean and put away our days as we go... we have little to do on cleaning day.  Instead of thinking cleaning day... think prevention, prevention, prevention

     Practice Creating little homes…. Think of your home as thousands of tiny homes living within your home.  Putting like items with like items.  Making space for what we use and love the most... in the most honored of spaces. Create homes for your treasures.  Everyone feels better when then belong somewhere.  Plus, knowing where everything lives is a total stress reducer.

    Gather support of kindred spirits and home angels….. by having healthy support system, we up our chances of accomplishing our lists and goals by 65-95%!!! Schedule a house cleaner, a home coach, a handy person to help you.  Schedule company to visit for a party or just a cup of tea.  Take a picture of your work before and after share your accomplishment with a buddy.

    Pause and be openly Curious.  Because we are creatures of habit.  We get lost in the day to day shuffle.   Pause and look around.  Be openly curious.  Pretend you don't live here- who does? What do you see, what do you notice?  Sometimes we have to pause from doing and look at our homes from a new perspective.  What do we love, what are we grateful for?  What are we done with?

 How do you feel in your home?  More importantly how do you want to feel??

  Our habits can uplift or deplete.  They don't care... they are here to make our brains work less, conserve energy and help us repeat the patterns we create.  By creating new patterns and ways of looking at our home and lives we wake up.  We shake off the cobwebs of the day to day grind. 
Housekeeping is exactly what we think it is... happiness or work.  I choose happiness...most days. 

Not every day is easy, but by habitually loving your work and home...happiness starts to become the habit.  This is a beautiful thing.

Action:  Look around your home.  What do you see?  What do you love?  How do you feel.  Just notice.  No judgement here.  Think of your 5 year old self and see with curiosity.  This is a great place to start.  Let me know what you discover!

You can do this!  Life is too short to get squished by housework. 
          Denise Frakes
            your life and home coach

Beauty is a state of being

We don't buy beauty.  Beauty is a state of being.  True beauty is found in the moments.  It catches our breath and expands our heart.

 I remember stripping coatings off slate floors.  A plastic, shiny, muddled coating covering up.  When we  removed the coating, I was amazed time and time again how the real beauty became visible.  It wasn't something to be added but something to be removed.  The essence of the stone of was there all along.

When I looked at those floors, when Dallas looked, what we started seeing was the texture, the colors, the lines, the art.  We saw images and even fossils of plants imbedded in those slate floors.  The idea of covering up the true authentic beauty of something naturally created millions of years ago seemed wrong. It was such a waste.

To be able to see beauty is a practice in seeing.  Shiny and enhanced beauty is easy to spot- but that kind of beauty can be washed off, or stripped off.  The kind of beauty I'm talking about is awareness of a deep beauty.  I see it in winter, when the leaves are gone.  The trees become works of art.  I saw this beauty when I would travel to see my family in Holyoke Colorado.   Driving in plains of Colorado, miles and miles of sage brush, rolling hills and open space, my heart would expand. -literally- I could feel it.  So can my mom.

I can see this beauty in myself when I wake up, all ruffled and messy from sleep.  Or come in from a run or walk in the woods.  Nothing fancy- just happy.  I see this beauty in acts of kindness, creative ideas, play.  I saw it in the my friend as we walked in the woods this morning.  I even see it in myself.

Just a moment in time...this morning

To me beauty is a practice.  If you want to be beautiful.  Learn to see beauty, to feel beauty, to give beauty.  To be present, nourished and at ease.  To eat foods that nourish your skin, your cells, your digestive system and your soul.  To sleep deeply and richly.  To smile for the pure joy of smiling and as a practice of smiling.

If you like wearing make up and it gives you joy, it is part of your creative essence that's beautiful too.  When you wash off your make up, your creative expression, and look in the mirror, smile at the radiant being looking back at you.  Like the naked slate floors...this is where the true beauty lives.

 Early morning walk in the woods, this is a great place to find true beauty!!

 

The Practice of Smiling as a Meditation

The practice of smiling as a meditation is one of the most profound and flexible meditations you will ever find.  By thoughtfully taking time to smile, no matter the weather, day's events or season, you will not only relax your nervous system and up your resiliency but you also become present.

The Practice of Smiling as a Meditation

   by Thich Nhat Hahn from Be Free Where you are

  "Smiling is a practice.  There are over 300 muscles in your face.

When you are angry or fearful, these muscles tense up.

The tension in these muscles creates a feeling of hardness.

If you know how to breathe and produce a smile however, the tension will disappear."

"Make smiling an exercise."

"There are times when your joy produces a smile.

There are also times when a smile causes relaxation, calm and joyu.

I do not wait until there is joy in me to smile:  Joy will come later

Sometimes when I am along in my room in the dark, 

 I practice smiling to myself.

I do this to be kind to myself, to take good care of myself, to love myself.

I know that if I cannot take care of myself, I cannot take care of anyone else."

"Being compassionate to yourself is a very important practice.  

When you are tired, angry or in despair,

you should know hoe to take care of your tiredness, your anger and your despair.

That is why we practice smiling, mindful walking, breathing and mindful eating."

To create smiling as a practice, I recommend incorporating this smiling practice into an already established habit.  Something you do everyday- rain or shine: washing your face, cooking dinner, exercising, driving, right before you go to sleep and when you wake up.  By connecting this new baby practice with a current habit you are using what is called a trigger habit.  When you connect a new habit with an existing habit it ups its chances of becoming a habit exponentially.

Just a FYI, there are days this practice comes easy and there are times it is a deep practice.                     Be kind, consistent and persistent - the benefits are huge!!

Happy travels,
      Denise
                                         Life Coach and Speaker for home and health

Prune your chores = Increased Happiness

Cooking, cleaning, shopping, errands etc... our chores will expand in our lives until we start pruning. Without a bit of clutter clearing our freedom is squished and smashed.  Our chores and habits are closely related they silently and quietly move into our lives talking up our time and energy until we are exhausted and bogged down by life..

    The laws of money say your expenses will match and exceed your income unless you create intentional boundaries and awareness to stop the over spending.    The same is true of our chores.  Our in boxes, to do lists and daily chores can become time clutter.   Our lists of daily, weekly  and seasonal responsibilities needs periodic pruning.  Before the holidays appear, downsize your chores, giving yourself breathing room to play and celebrate.

Downsizing- deleting-delegating chores = Increased happiness

This week I came across a study... How buying time promotes happiness  The study tested the hypothesis of how spending money on material goods would compare to spending money on activities that saved time on our chores.  It turns our we are significantly happier spending money on saving time on our chores than on new stuff.

5 tips to Pruning your Autumn Chores

 Start slashing, cutting and simplifying your chores- get your knife sharp and mind clear 

    1)  Become aware...Pay attention to what you are doing each day- how much time and energy you spend on chores??

    2)  Unclutter your self imposed work!  How have your chores expanded over time?

            How many grocery stores do you go to each week?

            Do you have more stuff to dust around.

            Can your meals be simplified?  Can you use fewer dishes?

    3)  Delegate!  Hire! Buy!  Sometimes all you have to do is ask for help.

             Other times you might want to hire out.  A housecleaner, an decluttering coach, dinner out

                Help to the rescue!!  Get help!!!!!  Lighten your load!!

     4)  Simplify! Simplify! Simplify!
              Cook less but bigger batches,  Eat simply, enjoy left overs

              Downsize your possessions- less is more free time

              Shop less, shop fewer places, shop with a clear list

     5)  Just do it- Decide to reduce!   Open up your creative juices to see how many "required" chores can be simplified, downsized, reduced and deleted!

  This last quarter of 2019 sets the stage for next year.  Start by following our seasonal cues.  Let go of your leaves, let plants die away, harvest and prune your chores.  Less is more in our lives.  We don't need to go on vacation for freedom.  Freedom can be found everyday of our lives.  Breathing space is a gift it is the best gift you can ever give yourself and those you love.  Chores are there to support us in our lives...we were not created to mark off our daily chore lists

As always, I wish you great joy in your daily travels,

              Denise Frakes
    Personal and home coach... at your service

Unjudge your cleaning - home and life

While you clean- be nice to yourself and to those around you

Cleaning is a life chore

Cleaning is a life chore.

 Life chore definition:   a chore or task you will need to do daily, if not weekly, your entire life. 

 That can sound pretty ominous if you don't like your chores.  It's best to make friends with your chores as soon as possible.  

Chores are closely tied to our habits.  They are repeated over and over again. They run on autopilot. 

 If you have a life chore... cleaning, shopping, cooking, paying bills, even exercising, that is not working for you, change your habits, upgrade your skills and shift your attitude.  Your life will be greatly enriched and blessed in the process.

I've enjoyed 27 plus years of working with homes: cleaning, uncluttering, coaching, writing, experiencing, teaching, learning and pondering.

 Home care and chores has become a deep source of wisdom and inspiration.  Dive into anything deep and long enough and you will find your answers.

If you are ready to shift your life chores, let's get going.  We all have one life to live, getting bogged down in a chore is depleting of your spirit.

  Question:  Think of all your daily and weekly chores and tasks.  Which ones give you energy and which ones take it away?

  Denise,
      Wishing you easy and wonder,
          Life coach, residue free living specialist
             

When in doubt...sit

Today, I was faced with a decision.  I couldn't come up with a clear answer and it was making my stomach turn.  I laid down for a 20 minute nap and when I woke up I had my answer: be still.

We have many opportunities and options in our great country.  We are blessed with abundance and with abundance comes choices. More is not always better. There is an ease to having fewer options.  Your mind can relax.  It becomes more creative with less.

This is our Penny kitty.  She understands stillness. 

I help people let go of the "too much" world.  I am not immune to this world.  Maybe I don't collect things but it is easy to collect ideas, tasks, opportunities, possibilities.
Tonight before I toddle off to bed I wanted to share my thoughts with you.

If you can't decide- don't.  Become very still and listen
Before going forward clean
      clean out your projects, your procrastinations, your unfinished beginnings
By going back and cleaning up, you gain insights into where you want to go.
By becoming still, you ground yourself, your breath deepens as does your internal wisdom

These are my thoughts before I sleep.  July is a good month to clean out and breathe.
          Denise

3 tips to turn your daily chores into space to breathe

Cleaning, laundry, picking up, driving to work, mowing the lawn, grocery shopping .... the list goes on. What you consider a chore is highly unique to you but there area few "chores" that seem to rise to the top.  As a professional cleaner and educator on the happy healthy home.  Cleaning is the one I hear the most. Since we spend our lives doing chores, wouldn't it be wise of us to make friends... sooner than later

"All work is important.  All work is of value.  The Amish honor what we would call the process and the product.  Both.  For them it's all connected.  ..... There is no need to rush to get one thing over so you can get on to something more important.  .... The Amish approach everything they do with the same attitude.  They had shown me that any type of work could be meaningful.  It is the spirit in which you do it that makes the difference".
                    Notes from the book Plain and Simple by Sue Bender (click to order - great read!!)

 This book was recommended to me by Dana P.  Thank you Dana. In December of 2008 she and I had a great conversation about chores, joy and practicing.  This book and our conversation have stayed with me and inspired me for over 10 plus years.

So how do you turn your chores into rich space to live?  I have thought and played with this idea for years.  And to be honest, when I'm flowing in my life it is easy.  When I'm struggling in my life I lean on these chores to ground me and give me rhythm.  When I'm overbooked, rushing around and stressed I hope I remember to use my chores as space to breathe and relax. This is the practice- remembering and then doing.  As Sue says in her book... "it isn't what I'm doing but the spirit in which I do that makes all the difference."

This practice is personal.  What you consider a chore is highly personal to you.  The question to ask yourself is... what do you dread?  What do you find irritating, exhausting or boring? What is a waste of your time and energy?  Pick a chore.  Play with it and see if you can't improve your relationship.

Tips for making a chore a gift....

1.  Give it space.  What we don't value we don't give space in our lives.  This translates to rushing, sticking our chores in to small spaces, odd times and no energy.  If you need to clean or mow.  Then give it space to do so.  When you have space you will naturally relax.

2.  Un-Judge your tasks.  Everything you do is important.  Projects, making money and having fun may seem more important and they are important but consider chores as a balance.  Chores are grounding, rhythmic and nourishing activities that support you and relax your nervous system.

3.  Use this time and space to play, to create to practice.  We tend to always be busy.  Are you looking for time to meditate, to create, to exercise or just be?  Well consider using your daily and weekly chores as time to hold your posture, to breathe, to relax, to wonder and ponder.  The possibilities of what you can do with this time is infinite.

We all need time and space to breathe.

As always, I wish you inspired travels.
    Denise Frakes
Home and Personal Coach

Best Storage Idea for 2018

Is there such a season as storage season?  In the new year, most every store is promoting their storage containers sales. After the holidays we have lots more stuff.  We also have a natural instinct to rebalance and create space for the new year.   The simple solutions are to improve our organization and buy more storage containers right??  hmmmm

It is time to reconsider this holiday storage season and instead turn it in to the as the season to unclutter, downsize and simplify our lives season.

The easiest way to organize your home is to downsize its belongings.  Reducing instead of storing will make your new year lighter, clearer, freer and happier.  Organization is a snap when you are only organizing a few things.  The things you use, you love and that supports your life.

Think about it... do you want 2018 to be the year you improve your storage containers or the year you let go, simplify and set yourself free?  Tough choice right?

The beginning of the year brings hopes and dreams to the surface.  Don't stuff them into a box, a bin or a tub!

Wishing you happiness and freedom in 2018,
            Denise