Coming out of our COVID cocoons

  We are richer with poetry, kindred spirits and traveling partners.  Trying to be perfect, is not as much fun as a gritty, imperfect and quirky authentic soul.  When she stepped out of her own shadow...delightful friends appeared.  It's time to start moving out of our COVID cocoons to discover who we have transformed into over the last year plus!

                        Denise... Happy traveling my friends.

What Happens

What happens when your soul

Begins to awaken

Your eyes and your heart

And the cells of your body

To the great journey of Love?

First there is wonderful laughter

And probably precious tears

And a hundred sweet promises

And those hectic vows

No one can ever keep.

But still the Beloved is delighted and amused

That you try to be a saint.

What happens when your soul begins to awake in this world

To your deep need to love and to serve Life?

O, the Beloved Will send you

Wonderful and Wild companions!

   Hafiz

Joy is like a muscle...a muscle that needs exercise

 "Joy is a Devine quality of our true self, which is inherently lighthearted, playful and free. You can see the full expression of this joy in young children who haven't learned to worry or take themselves too seriously.  They play and laugh freely, finding wonder in the smallest things. They are infinitely creative because they haven't yet build up the layers of conditioning that creates limitations and restrictions"          Deepak Chopra

Don't wait for joy to come.  Joy is a muscle.  If you want to get in joyful shape...you need to exercise your joy muscles.  Action is required.  Reading a book about joy or wishing for it doesn't do anything unless a little action is included.  Life is richer and way more fun, when joy is part of your daily workout. This is one reason I love clutter clearing as part of my coaching. When done correctly, Clutter clearing is a joyful act.  It creates a lighter home.  It's good for your spirit!  It is productive.  Creating a refreshed space, an authentic and nourishing space is an act of love.

I tell my clients all the time...this will be fun.  You should see the sideway glances I get. But it's true. I know it in my bones. I see it over an over again. I feel it.  Joyful work is good medicine.  And good medicine can be joyful work!

A little bit of exercise done consistently overtime...creates healthy bodies and joyful spirits.  It takes time to clean off life's residues and let your natural joy, your essence shine through.  This is a journey of discovery.  If you are cleaning out your home or igniting your joy..it is a process.  A delightful and awe inspiring journey.  One that when done consistently...even just a smidgen at a time...will give you blessings in buckets.

Today, add a splash of joy to your day.  Dance to a little music, sing a song, go outside and look for new discoveries, clean out one book shelf.  Send a note of gratitude to a friend.  Play hop scotch...throw ball.  Simple...yes!  Good for the soul?  You bet!  Dance a little dance...everyday...smile for no reason.  Watch a comedy...just play.  And then do it again tomorrow.  

                            Wishing you a joyful journey,

                                        Denise Frakes  Home and Life Coaching...joyfully done!

 

The Habit Poem...A year of tiny practices

"The first time you actually do it differently - whether you're delighted or disappointed in the results - you throw a pebble in the pond. The pebble sends out tiny, barely visible ripples of movement toward the center. No one else notices.....But one day, all those small but indelible moments of private courage will burst through. And both you an your world will have changed in an authentic moment."        Sarah Ban Breathnach Simple Abundance

 Greetings January!!

         When you are creating new years resolutions...  Think daily practices...they turn into habits...and habits create your life.   You can do this...one tiny practice at a time...one pebble, one day, one moment.

                         May you be persistent and consistent in your dreams,  Happy New Year!!

                                                                                                    Denise Frakes Home and Life Coach

The Habit Poem

I am your constant companion

I am your greatest helper or heaviest burden

I will push you onward or drag you down to failure

I am completely at your command

Half of the things you do, you might as well turn over to me 

and I will do them - quickly and correctly

I am easily managed- you must be firm with me

Show me exactly how you want something done

and after a few lessons I will do it automatically

I am the servant of great people

and alas, of all failure as well.

Those who are great, I have made great

Those who are failures, I have made failures

I am not a machine though

I work with the precision of a machine

plus the intelligence of a person

You may run me for profit or run me to ruin

it makes no difference to me

Take me, train me, be firm with me, and 

I will place the world at your feet

Be easy with me and I will destroy you.

Who am I?  I am Habit.

Author unknown

Life coaching...Seeing you as the miracle you already are

“There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.”  Albert Einstein

This is how I see you...as a miracle.   

  What I love about coaching is:  I'm not here to change you but help you uncover and discover you.  When we work together, we are partners.  You are whole, beautiful and fully capable. The nature of life, hides what is right there.  Our lives are habitual...40% of our daily actions are lost to us.  Coaching isn't to fix something missing. Coaching is shining a light on your essence, your perfectly imperfectly authentic beautiful you.

This week, I was cleaning out my office files...and came upon, the 7 commitments of a Transformation coach.  Thought you might just like to know what they are.  

1.  I honor the sacredness of others and hold their confidences

2.  I respect other's perceptions of the world and meet them were they are

3. I am impeccable with my word and commitments

4. I connect from the heart

5. I hold my client and the world in a positives focus

6. I take responsibility for myself and allow others to do the same

7. I see all people as whole, full and complete

Our work together is sacred.  Your life, your home, your possibilities are sacred.  This is why I was so drawn to the transformation life coaching program.  I see the miracle of you, even when you might have lost sight of your natural essence.   We work together not to change you, but to remind you of your value, to honor, uncover your dreams.  I merely reflect back to you the wonder I see in you.

You may be going through some irksome times. Our world is, and we are part of this greater whole.  What I urge you and will continue to cultivate in my own life is seeing each other and our world.. all it's glory and struggles...in a positive focus. Having faith in each other to be resilient, beautiful, creative and kind.  To see what might be hidden behind clutter, anger, fear, sorrow, lack of sleep, anxiety and too much sugar.  Our beautiful spirits never go away...sometimes we  just get a little residue on the outside.  Nothing a good cleaning can't take care of.

           From my own cleaning out reflections,

                       Denise Frakes... may you journey beautifully

     

Change your focus...sit down and listen to the sea!

 This morning I woke up to a state full of fires, smoke, social rage, COVID, economic unease, and a hot political season...and I woke up to a purring kitty, a morning, my family, a cup of hot water and a batch of beet soup waiting to be created.

A few years ago, I traveled to Iona Scotland on a pilgrimage.  It was exactly that, not exactly a vacation, more of an adventure in traveling and weather...and some absolutely delightful people and delicious tea and scones.

While we were on the Island, we discovered an old land fill with hidden treasures from a lost time.  Why I was so captivated by an old dump, is just me and very wabi sabi   This dump, was in the north side of Iona- a very small island.  My traveling mates and I discovered it and then I tried to find in on my own.  I wandered around searching for the "dump". 

A little back story, Iona old with a long history. It is know as a place with a very thin veil...meaning your ability to connect outside of this normal life we lead is natural here.  As I was wondering and looking, a voice popped into my head- a clear and authoritative voice

    "Denise stop looking for the dump.  Sit down and listen to the sea!"  These were more like marching orders instead of a internal suggestion.  It woke me up. I looked up.  In front of me, beyond the blowing grass and hidden dump was the sea.  It was beautiful, colorful and full of energy... I looked down a perfectly cut out from the grass bank... right in front of me, was a place to sit and listen to the sea.

Since that day, when I get lost looking for the "dump" I remember those words and think.  "Denise, stop looking for the dump.  Sit down and listen to the sea."

Today is such a day.  Yes, there is a lot going on.  A majestic level of unrest...and yet, it is essential we don't put all our focus on what is wrong, or dangerous, or unsettling... that we also put some time aside to sit down and listen to the sea, or make a batch of beet soup, or dance to an old song, or write a blog. 

Where ever you are today, I wish you and yours safety, love and health...and I also share the words from Iona Scotland.... "stop looking for the dump...sit down and listen to the sea!" 

        From my home to yours, may you be safe, healthy and a wee bit curious to what the sea has to say,     

                                Denise Frakes

       

     

When you wobble...dig deep. Be a dandelion!

I've been smitten with dandelions ever since I can remember.  This little weed, she inspires me. Her determination to thrive in any condition, to bloom wherever she is planted, speaks to me.

We are living in wild times.  We have to decide if we are going to bloom or whither.  Nature teaches us how to be resilient, how to thrive in storms and come back from fires.  How to bloom on our own.  We are more resilient than we know.

I love dandelions because of their feisty spirits.  When I start to wobble...and of course I do wobble, slump and grieve....and then I think: "Be a Dandelion Denise".

The wisdom of Dandelion

My tap root runs deep. It is strong. When I need nourishment or water I dig deep into the earth.

Try to pull me up...my root may snap, but that is only temporary.  Before long I will be blooming again ... stronger, brighter, more joyfully.

My roots are medicinal, I am meant to heal

My leaves are nourishing, I am food

My flower is bright yellow. I bring joy

I'm the first to bloom in the spring and one of the last to bloom into winter.  If I get planted in tall grass, I will shoot my blooms up high so I can see. I will explode thousands of seeds. I have faith at least one will find soil.

Not everyone understands my value.  By most, I'm considered a weed and yet I don't mind. I continue to multiply and grow despite the effort to quiet me.  I don't need much to bloom. You can find me growing in unlikely places.  I grow in ditches. I bloom on freeway walls...with nothing to hang onto but a handful of dirt...I will bloom no matter where I find myself. It is my gift.

I'm a determined and feisty soul. I am who I am, and I like my spirit. I will thrive in any climate, any season, any location.  I am tender and strong.  I am bouquets of love given by tiny hands.

I am the definition of resiliency.  I am medicine. I am nourishment. I am spirited. I am beautiful. I am bright, I am happy. I am authentically me.  I am a dandelion. 

This is what I think when I need to dig in deep and bloom... in uncertain times ... let your roots dig in deep, your spirit bloom.  Don't ask permission or wait for the perfect conditions. 

We have one life and this is it!  Let's bloom where we are planted!  Be a dandelion! Be whatever you need to be...listen to your heart, your spirit, your joy.  Let's find ways to thrive, re-create, to connect, bloom, grow, share.  We all have it in us.  That feisty, wild spirit... this spirit we need to listen to.  The world needs our blooms!

No matter what the world is doing, in spite what is going on around us- bloom!

    Denise...I'm digging in right next to you!

Wabi-Sabi Beauty

Hope from 1869 & 2020

A poem by an Irish woman after the plague devastated Ireland in 1869

And the people stayed home.

And read books,

and listened,

and rested,

and exercised,

and made art,

and played games,

and learned new ways of being,

   and were still.

And listened more deeply.

Some meditated,

some prayed,

some danced.

Some met their shadows.

And the people began to think differently.

And the people healed.

And, in the absence of people

   Living in ignorant, dangerous, mindless and heartless ways,

the earth began to heal.

And when the danger passed,

and the people joined together again,

they grieved their losses,

and made new choices,

and dreamed new images,

and created new ways to live and heal the earth fully, as they had been healed.

                                            Kathleen O’Meara or Irene Vella

Originally, I believed this poem to have been written in 1869.  Later my friend who sent this to me, corrected her earlier post. She discovered this poem was a current poem written by an Italian journalist Irene Vella and translated by Kathleen O’Meara.

I want to give credit where credit is warranted…  And yet, when I thought this poem was written by a woman in 1869, I felt such an uplifted vision, a feeling of renewal after winter.  So, as you read this poem…pretend these words were written from a wise soul who came through a similar storm. Because it was and because eventually this storm too will pass.  We will come back out and we will be changed.  How we change will be up to us.

One of my favorite quotes ever is:
   “Never fear the storm, that’s where all the energy is.”
                          Unknown

Be well, be safe, be kind
     from my home to yours,
                  Denise

Becoming the solution...acts of kindness given

I loved the movie Fantastic Fungi.  It's amazing, how fungus has this huge interconnecting network underground.  If one tree in the forest is struggling, this underground network will send nutrients and energy to the tree in need.  We need to be more like fungus.

How we feel and what we think does affect those around us.

With this virus, we are traveling on a path with a more bends and rocks than normal  We are asking our guides and leaders to already know this path. They don't. They may not even know the right questions to ask...yet.  But they will and we will.  In the mean time, it's time to lift us all up.

I propose this: Pay it forward.  Each day take 1 minute, 10 minutes, 1 hour whatever you can do. Meditate with uplifting emotions.  See scenarios where we are all thriving.  Send nutrients to our fellow trees. Believe and send kindness and support to those around us.  Send TLC to our neighbors near and far, to our family members now in isolation for protection, send it to anyone and everyone you feel called.  Send faith to places it needs to go.

During that minute, feel how you want to feel.  How you want our leaders, families, communities and businesses to feel. Picture solid solutions, thriving communities, happy families, wise leaders making brilliant decisions.  If you hold a lot of anger or fear, then focus on something or someone you love that puts you in a a place of kindness and strength.  The key is for us to project a future where we are healthy, happy and thriving.  Include our neighbors, community, cities, states and fellow countries.

 Just because you are a world leader, public health official, doctor, or even a blogger and life coach... doesn't make you immune to stress.  Helping others, will help our own stress drop.  Sending kind thoughts to those around us has a bigger impact than we realize.

If you have been following my past blogs, you know my take on happiness.  When we are healthy, confident we make better decisions, we are more creative and better problem solvers.  We need to support our leaders and community to feel this way.  The better our brains work the easier it will be for us to move through this path.  Want more info on happiness?  The science of happiness

The benefits of this daily meditation/prayer will be felt by you as those you send it out to.  Which will in turn help our own ability to process in a higher level.

        Our brains work better when we are confident.  Let's help those around us feel this way too.
                                    Denise

Chasing happiness

I have a confession to make.  Last year, I thought I would learn to be happy.  I practiced happy.  I searched for happy. Funny thing is I was happier before I started trying to be happy.  I was already happy...until I tried to be happy...

 Science backs being happy.  When we are happy we are the opposite of chronically stressed.  We are all healthier, stronger and clearer.  We are more curious and creative.  We are more prosperous, gratefully and resilient.  We are everything we hope... and yet,,  Happiness isn't a thing.  Happiness is the end of a rainbow.  It's the pot of gold. 

Chasing happiness is like chasing a rainbow- hoping to capture the pot of gold.  But just like a rainbow happiness is elusive.  It moves, it shift and teases- I'm over here.

Happiness is not a destination it is a rainbow.  Can we be happy?  Absolutely, but happiness only comes in the present moment.  It is not a thing it is a state of being.  In a 24 hour period, we may have 10 moments of ease, 23 moments of gratitude, 15 moments of discouragement, 2 moments of joy, and one really powerful moment of fear which ends up taking over the rest of our day.

In one day there are 24 hours, 1,440 minutes and 86,400 seconds.  How long is a moment?

Our goal maybe should be to be present for as many of those moments as we can.  Isn't being present where the pot of gold really is?  It is the present of being alive.  When we are present we are connected.  We are alive.  We see the world.  We are in the world, not lost in yesterday, not wondering about the future and not chasing rainbows. 

What if in any day there are 18 moments that take your breathe away by their beauty?  Don't you want to be there?

Take a moment now...

Write what makes you happy.  Write for 10 minutes non stop, no editing, write continually.  Write about what make you happy.  Happiness is the awareness of what we love.  Discovering what we love.   Cultivating our passions, feeling gratitude and love.  Happiness is sitting with my dog Sally rubbing her soft brown and white speckled ears, seeing close her eyes and absorb.  Happiness isn't a thing, it is a moment.  When you feel happiness know that that moment is a gift.  We are not entitled to be happy.  Maybe our practice isn't to be happy but to cultivate beautiful moments and then be present to witness those moments.  Discover your moments.

A funny thing happened on the way to being happy... I forgot to be.  Practice the art of being and when you next see a rainbow pause and enjoy the moment.

Let go of being happy, be curious, be present and grateful and see if this elusive thing called happiness doesn't come visit.

        With love,
                  Denise

Playing small doesn't serve the world

Do you ever doubt yourself? Are you ever afraid?  I am.  I wish I could say, no not me I'm always super confident and amazing.  The truth is I doubt, I shrink, I fret.  Sometimes, I think who am I to write, coach, create workshops, give presentations, even garden or create recipes?  But then there are other times, more and more, that I smile and know.  I like those times better.

Today, a friend of mine and I were visiting about this very topic.  She sent me a poem writen by Marianne Williamson.   If you are having a day of doubt read this and see if your inner knowing doesn't perk up a bit.

As always, I wish you oodles of confident and splashes of brilliance,
      Denise

"Our Deepest Fear"

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.

Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.

It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.

We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous?

Actually, who are you not to be?

You are a child of God.

Your playing small doesn't serve the world.

There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.

We were born to manifest the glory of God that is within us.  It's not just in some of us;

It's in everyone.

And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.

As we are liberated from our own fears, our presence automatically liberates others."

Marianne Williamson

Cultivating an ancient practice to reset your energy system

Cultivating an ancient practice, even the words have a restorative ring.  When my computer or cell phone go nuts, I unplug wait 60 seconds and try again.  99 percent of the time this does the trick.  So simple and yet so effective.

Our grandmothers and grandfathers didn't have cell phones or computers but they did know how to reset.  Their daily work was unplugging the charge.  The ancient practice was doing their daily work.

Washing dishes, cleaning windows, cleaning out drawers, pulling weeds, chopping wood, these chores are where our ancestors found their center, de-stressed and rebooted.

Yesterday I cleaned out two rooms and I cleaned my home.  Today, as I look around I feel refreshed, centered and restored.  I can't imagine anything doing more than a free day of cleaning and cleaning out can do.

I cleaned out and organized and as I did I lightened the weight I carry around.  Later I chopped down some baby poplar trees, I accomplished and felt strong.  I cleaned toilets, vacuumed floors and washed windows.  Today, I can see clearly and breath deeply.  As I cleaned I unplugged.

When you need a reset, keep it simple.  Everything you need you already have.  What you are looking for is not out there but with you all along.  Think simply. What is in front of you?  What needs done?  What has been weighing heavily on you lately?  Start with 30 minutes- stay focused. Open windows get some fresh air and light into your life.  Move right to left to right and top to bottom. Move mindfully and breathe deeply.  Let go of what no longer serves you.  Stay present and get lost in the moment.  Move with strong posture and relaxed shoulders.  Enjoy your work, for this is not a chore but an ancient practice of unplugging.

Happy cleaning and cleaning out,
        Denise

Keep your worries at bay and your paper flat

   This is a piece of paper on my office chair.  Why is it there???  Good question, my step mom passed on a little wisdom to me today.  She has a friend who's dad told her "worry is like wrinkling up a piece of paper.  It makes the paper weaker and only give God more to do when it comes time to straighten it back out."
  I liked this thought, as I type my dad is having heart surgery.  I'm sitting on my worries in order to keep my paper flat.  It seems to be working as the paper under my seat doesn't have a wrinkle in it!!
  Just a thought for a Monday morning.
       As always, wishing you a healthy and happy home,
                 Denise