Joy is like a muscle...a muscle that needs exercise

 "Joy is a Devine quality of our true self, which is inherently lighthearted, playful and free. You can see the full expression of this joy in young children who haven't learned to worry or take themselves too seriously.  They play and laugh freely, finding wonder in the smallest things. They are infinitely creative because they haven't yet build up the layers of conditioning that creates limitations and restrictions"          Deepak Chopra

Don't wait for joy to come.  Joy is a muscle.  If you want to get in joyful shape...you need to exercise your joy muscles.  Action is required.  Reading a book about joy or wishing for it doesn't do anything unless a little action is included.  Life is richer and way more fun, when joy is part of your daily workout. This is one reason I love clutter clearing as part of my coaching. When done correctly, Clutter clearing is a joyful act.  It creates a lighter home.  It's good for your spirit!  It is productive.  Creating a refreshed space, an authentic and nourishing space is an act of love.

I tell my clients all the time...this will be fun.  You should see the sideway glances I get. But it's true. I know it in my bones. I see it over an over again. I feel it.  Joyful work is good medicine.  And good medicine can be joyful work!

A little bit of exercise done consistently overtime...creates healthy bodies and joyful spirits.  It takes time to clean off life's residues and let your natural joy, your essence shine through.  This is a journey of discovery.  If you are cleaning out your home or igniting your joy..it is a process.  A delightful and awe inspiring journey.  One that when done consistently...even just a smidgen at a time...will give you blessings in buckets.

Today, add a splash of joy to your day.  Dance to a little music, sing a song, go outside and look for new discoveries, clean out one book shelf.  Send a note of gratitude to a friend.  Play hop scotch...throw ball.  Simple...yes!  Good for the soul?  You bet!  Dance a little dance...everyday...smile for no reason.  Watch a comedy...just play.  And then do it again tomorrow.  

                            Wishing you a joyful journey,

                                        Denise Frakes  Home and Life Coaching...joyfully done!

 

6 easy and enjoyable stress reducers... that work!!

Are you feeling stress?  Yup, we all are...here are 6 of my top stress busting tips for November... in no particular order.  Try one or two... let me know how it goes.   One simple shift can change everything... I'm here right here with you!

  Go outside

These are tiny fungi in our garden

Even 15 minutes out of the house and unplugged can shift your mood.  While you are outside...go for a walk, look around to see what wonders the season is bringing.  What are the clouds doing? Wave at neighbors.  Talk to barking dogs.  Smile at bursts of beauty. Move out of your brain and into the world.  Nature expands you.  Your radiant energy is nourished.

Get your zzzz's

Create space to sleep.  I totally get how easy it is to fall asleep on the couch watching TV or scrolling through Instagram or Facebook.  Those activates turn me into a zombie's!  How about you?  So create space to sleep 8-9 hours of nourishing sleep.  In addition to a good night's sleep...take a nap.  A well rested baby is a happy baby...we never grow out of our need to sleep. Sleep is when we heal, reboot, and replenish our mind, body and spirits.

Play

  Play is the antidote to stress!  Unplug, shut off work and go play.  Our nervous system needs play.  If you have ever had a puppy you know how sad they get when they don't get to play.  We are no different than puppies.  Joy begets Joy... cultivate play.  Discover what makes your spirit sparkle.

  Gratitude

  Gratitude moves us from the worry and fretting, fear and dread and into a world that warms your heart.  For a complete guide to the wonders of gratitude, check out this gatherings of articles...The neuroscience of Gratitude and how it affects anxiety and depression.  And check out Joshua Becker's a month of Gratitude

Gratitude Defined:  The quality of being thankful.  Readiness to show appreciation for and to; return kindness to someone

 Be present  

Move your attention from your thoughts to your body.  When you are feeling your body, your breath... your brain can relax.  By becoming present and breathing long, deep, slow nourishing breaths...you get to rest your weary mind.  

"To stay present in everyday life,  it helps to be deeply rooted within yourself:  otherwise, the mind, which as incredible momentum will drag you along like a wild river.    It means to inhabit your body fully.  To always have some of your attention in the inner energy filed of your body.  To feel the body from within, so to speak.  Body awareness keeps you present. It anchors you in the Now".   Practicing the Power of Now... Eckhart Tolle

Practice acts of kindness

This can be as simple as waving at a neighbor, to calling a friend.  Even pickup up the house so it feels better for your family.  Not as a chore but an act of love...we will feel better.  When we stop thinking of our own wows...and focus our attention on helping someone else.

  A funny thing happens...we feel better. It is the gift of giving.

You are more powerful, resourceful and resilient than you will ever know.  If you want an additional boost of inspiration... read the dressmaker of Khair Khana.  This book really put in perspective how strong we are...and how lucky we are!!  I highly recommend.

Wow...this book will put our 2020 in perspective!

And if you need support, reach out.  You are not alone, you are surrounded by lots of kindred spirits...and we are all fingering this out one day at a time.

   Denise Frakes  your life and home coach

 

Life coaching...Seeing you as the miracle you already are

“There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.”  Albert Einstein

This is how I see you...as a miracle.   

  What I love about coaching is:  I'm not here to change you but help you uncover and discover you.  When we work together, we are partners.  You are whole, beautiful and fully capable. The nature of life, hides what is right there.  Our lives are habitual...40% of our daily actions are lost to us.  Coaching isn't to fix something missing. Coaching is shining a light on your essence, your perfectly imperfectly authentic beautiful you.

This week, I was cleaning out my office files...and came upon, the 7 commitments of a Transformation coach.  Thought you might just like to know what they are.  

1.  I honor the sacredness of others and hold their confidences

2.  I respect other's perceptions of the world and meet them were they are

3. I am impeccable with my word and commitments

4. I connect from the heart

5. I hold my client and the world in a positives focus

6. I take responsibility for myself and allow others to do the same

7. I see all people as whole, full and complete

Our work together is sacred.  Your life, your home, your possibilities are sacred.  This is why I was so drawn to the transformation life coaching program.  I see the miracle of you, even when you might have lost sight of your natural essence.   We work together not to change you, but to remind you of your value, to honor, uncover your dreams.  I merely reflect back to you the wonder I see in you.

You may be going through some irksome times. Our world is, and we are part of this greater whole.  What I urge you and will continue to cultivate in my own life is seeing each other and our world.. all it's glory and struggles...in a positive focus. Having faith in each other to be resilient, beautiful, creative and kind.  To see what might be hidden behind clutter, anger, fear, sorrow, lack of sleep, anxiety and too much sugar.  Our beautiful spirits never go away...sometimes we  just get a little residue on the outside.  Nothing a good cleaning can't take care of.

           From my own cleaning out reflections,

                       Denise Frakes... may you journey beautifully

     

A little less wobbling please...

When walking, just walk. When sitting, just sit. But above all don’t wobble!  Lin Chi

How much do we wobble? 

 Instead of being present, how much of our lives is spent in wobbling mode... trying to do 2-3-4 things at once?  Have you been to a coffee shop lately?  How many of us are sitting with someone...but looking at our cell phones?  How long do we hold focus on a project before we are interrupted...the phone rings, a text or pop up appears, we get hungry?....
We loose our focus...we start wobbling.

If we want to un-stress our lives and be who we are capable of being … become present... an undistracted version of ourselves.  Imagine showing up everyday...fully us.  Not wobbling, but clear, present and engaged.  

listening, tasting, seeing, smelling, feeling... present...

Who could we all become and what are we cable of doing by just reducing distractions and limiting our wobbling?  

When we are going to write...we write

When we do the dishes... we do the dishes

When we watch tv...we watch tv

When we listen...we listen

When we walk... we walk

When we drive... we drive

What a novel idea right?  It is stupidly simple...and yet

Why are we a society of distracted souls?  

More importantly... how do we want to show up in this world?

The truth is, when we are fully ourselves, nourished, happy and healthy, we make the world a better place.  We show up. 

It's usually in the removal that we find true selves... not in the addition of.  Practicing the art of subtraction makes room for our lives to breath and then to flourish.  A life that flourishes has a way of spreading beyond ourselves.  Like the internet, we are a web of connections.  Imagine if all our connectors we clean, happy and healthy working together.  Presently

A morning thought

   from my desk 

       during my own quiet time

un-wobbled space

Denise Frakes...wobbler, runner, writer.....

       

5 habits to raise your home's happiness index

     There is an indescribable joy that happens when you open up a freshly cleaned and thoughtfully stocked refrigerator.  You swing the door open wide, take a big breath and relax.  

Your heart opens up and you smile.... 

this is what creating a nourished and happy home does- it makes you happier

Creating a nourishing home for you, your family, your treasures 

is creating a space for your joy to bloom

    When you pull open your sock drawer and your socks are all happily in place. 

   When company unexpectedly appears at your front door, and you look around to see your home is
 at ease, clean and welcoming  

 

   Your happiness index rises

     When you find a rubber band and you think…I know exactly where that goes.
 I have a home for this!!  A little joy bubbles and wiggles in soul

     When you wake up in the morning to a clean kitchen...because you put it to bed the night before.
  

     When you start to clean your house and
 don't have to spend 3 hours putting things away
   

     When you sit down to have a cup of tea and look around and
 see more things that give you joy than tasks to be done.

     When you snuggle into bed, in a room that feels just right and
 you feel your body and mind relax... 

   Your happiness index rises

 Nourishing homes support our happiness.  A home that feels cozy and relaxes our nervous systems reducing our stress.  Homes like this make us happier.  When we are happy, we are healthier, more at ease.   We process better, communicate better and are more creative.  Life is easier and we feel luckier. 

  Perfection isn't the goal to creating homes that nourish.  Homes are living beings.  They will shift and flow with our lives, the seasons and with how well they are loved and cared for.  If we live in a home that is loved...we feel more loved.  When we create homes that make us happy...that joy is reflected back to us.  When our homes make since, support our life habits, are easy and feel nourishing... we are happier and healthier.

   Happiness is found in creating spaces you love and are loved

5 habits to raise your home's happiness index

       Practice tiny acts of tidiness…. Happy homes come from mindful creating.  They don't wait for the grand gestures or big projects... or cleaning day.  Tiny acts of tidiness happen all the time.  Sinks are wiped down after teeth are brushed, the mail sorted and put way, muddled shoes get a quick touch or order... tiny acts of tidiness.  Our work isn't drudgery but acts of kindness.

     Practices of prevention.  My Aunt Velma was always saying...If you have to swallow a bull frog don't spend too much time looking at it.  Spending time thinking about cleaning or un-cluttering causes stress.  When we gently and lightly clean and put away our days as we go... we have little to do on cleaning day.  Instead of thinking cleaning day... think prevention, prevention, prevention

     Practice Creating little homes…. Think of your home as thousands of tiny homes living within your home.  Putting like items with like items.  Making space for what we use and love the most... in the most honored of spaces. Create homes for your treasures.  Everyone feels better when then belong somewhere.  Plus, knowing where everything lives is a total stress reducer.

    Gather support of kindred spirits and home angels….. by having healthy support system, we up our chances of accomplishing our lists and goals by 65-95%!!! Schedule a house cleaner, a home coach, a handy person to help you.  Schedule company to visit for a party or just a cup of tea.  Take a picture of your work before and after share your accomplishment with a buddy.

    Pause and be openly Curious.  Because we are creatures of habit.  We get lost in the day to day shuffle.   Pause and look around.  Be openly curious.  Pretend you don't live here- who does? What do you see, what do you notice?  Sometimes we have to pause from doing and look at our homes from a new perspective.  What do we love, what are we grateful for?  What are we done with?

 How do you feel in your home?  More importantly how do you want to feel??

  Our habits can uplift or deplete.  They don't care... they are here to make our brains work less, conserve energy and help us repeat the patterns we create.  By creating new patterns and ways of looking at our home and lives we wake up.  We shake off the cobwebs of the day to day grind. 
Housekeeping is exactly what we think it is... happiness or work.  I choose happiness...most days. 

Not every day is easy, but by habitually loving your work and home...happiness starts to become the habit.  This is a beautiful thing.

Action:  Look around your home.  What do you see?  What do you love?  How do you feel.  Just notice.  No judgement here.  Think of your 5 year old self and see with curiosity.  This is a great place to start.  Let me know what you discover!

You can do this!  Life is too short to get squished by housework. 
          Denise Frakes
            your life and home coach

How to create breathing space...for 2020

Pausing...
Do you feel like your life is rushing by? Like there is no space to breathe, to play, to create, to love?  It's just task, errand, work, TV, sleep...Facebook videos...What do we do with our time?  Do we even know?

I love my work... I get to explore and play with these questions everyday.  How can we make cleaning our homes not only healthy and efficient but enjoyable and nourishing?  How can we love our lives and have room to play in any weather and any season?

Pausing...do you pause?  Or rush from task to task, from action to action to rest and then up and going again.  Do we let our breath complete it's cycle, our food space to digest, our minds space to wonder and ponder?  Do we think of our lives as circles repeating or a race to run?

As the new year rolls around, I'm fascinated by our habits.  I live in the world of habits.  Most of my coaching is around not goals but daily habits.   Cleaning, breathing, un-cluttering, health, happiness, creating space to ....????

These are lifestyle habits more than goal driven actions.  A lifestyle action focuses more on the practice of doing... to get the outcome you wish.  A goal driven action focuses on the end result. I believe in enjoying the journey...and arriving where we wish to go.

 Pausing gives our daily music form.   We relax our bodies, untangle our minds and let our natural beauty have space to be.  Think of time as a circle instead of a destination.  Our destinations are all the same...we will all pass away.  This is life.  If we focus on the circles within our life's journey, we give ourselves space to play, to nourish and improve our life skills.

Where are the circles?  And what do they have to do with Pausing?
    Circles...each minute is 60 seconds, an hour 60 minutes, a day 24 hours, a week, 7 days a month 30 days, a season 3 months, a year 12 months...After each segment- we circle back to the beginning.  We are back to January.  Circles give us rhythm.  They give us natural measurements.  They move with the seasons and are ever shifting with the seasons.
    Pausing...is learning to pause within the circles.  To pause between projects, at the beginning of each new day...at the end.  Pausing before we eat to be thankful and present.  Pausing before we begin to visualize how we want this segment to go...how we want to feel.  Pausing at the end of a cycle a circle to ask...how did this go?  What could we have done differently, what did we love?

  The truth is each second is a gift.  No matter what we are doing, it is our lives.  Our lives are impermanent, imperfect and uniquely our own..we share this with others.  Learning to pause between the circles... to be present and to relax.

  When we are in a relaxed and receptive state we are more intuitive.  When we are happy we are healthier, our ability to problem solve higher, our natural ease of connection is improved.
When we learn to pause, we let our bodies relax... We hop off the treadmill and go wash dishes. And then we have a conversation.  We put down our cell phones, turn off the marathon tv series.  We put down our fork and smile.  We create space to create.

When we pause, we give our lives space.  By thinking in terms of circles.  We can practice being and living instead of racing.  This is not a practice of wondering around. we still have a vision of our future and how we want to feel.  The practice of pausing and feeling makes the path more enjoyable.  And when we get to our destination we are not out of breath, exhausted and depleted by life... but nourished each step along the way.

We live in abundance.  Sometimes we need to pause from abundance to breathe.  To create nourishment instead of gathering more.

Do this...

Practice pausing.  3 times a day for 3 minutes each pause.  Become still. listen, breath, smile, relax your shoulders, breathe deeper and slower.  Soften your eyes, relax your neck, soften your belly and stand tall. gently put your shoulder blades down from your ears and into your back pockets.  Listen... Listen what do you hear?  How does your body feel?
                Finish with saying a little blessing or kindness to someone or something.
                See your world as you wish it to be.

And this... create a home for your pause... first thing in the morning, before sleep, before you eat... when you pee, between projects... find a home for your pause.

And then do this...  Let me know how it goes.  Do this for a week.  or a day.. how did it feel.  Try it again tomorrow...

         Happy Pausing,
               Denise Frakes- life and home coach

What day should you clean your house?

I have given this question a tremendous amount of thought... Seriously, odd amounts of ponderings. When I was a kid, my mom cleaned on Saturdays...which meant I cleaned on Saturdays.  Over the years I've tried cleaning on Saturdays- all times, Monday mornings, Tuesday afternoons, Sunday nights, hardly ever on Thursdays and Friday mornings.

I explore cleaning...it's a thing … My quest has been long and deep

Cleaning re-boots our lives and un-muddles our homes.  It creates a cozy, nourishing space to rest and play.  Cleaning is even one of the 7 essentials for a healthy home.  I can go on and on...you know I can.  I've written about cleaning on this blog for 10 years!  A kindly cleaned home is good for the soul.  This I get, no question there is value of what cleaning does for our lives.  But...

When do we clean???

The when of cleaning...here are my discoveries from a life of cleaning as a practice...

Cleaning needs space.  If I don't have a designated time and day to clean, cleaning gets put off and before I know it my house is muddled, dust bunnies run wild and I no longer have a cozy life.  Having a rhythm to this practice of cleaning- creates a natural ease in your life.  Cleaning needs space- consistent time just for cleaning...putting your life back in order.

 Early Friday morning is my favorite time.

    Each day of the week has a natural energy to it.  It's like what farmers do when they plant with the moon's rhythms.   There is a time to grow, to weed, to plant and a time to rest. The days of the week have a similar feel.  Friday's has the energy of completion for the week, love and art.  This is the perfect energy for cleaning.  I get my home in order and I use cleaning as a lovely practice of love and artistic play.  Super early Fridays morning is my absolutely my preferred space for home TLC

 When I need my creativity to be ignited.  

   Cleaning jump starts my brain for writing and creating.  If I want to write about cleaning, or give a talk on clutter, the best way to dig in is to start with cleaning. We get ideas when we shower, go on walks, cook etc.  By getting out of our brain and into methodical physical movement, our brains relax and our creativity gets a kick start. Cleaning cleans my brain.

 When I'm stressed, feeling ungrounded or don't know where to start... I clean.

    Cleaning is the great de-stressor.  Having my home in order makes me feel like my life is in order... When my home is messy...it's usually a sign my life is going in too many directions.  Cleaning brings me back to center and relaxes my nervous system.  When my thoughts are muddled, I organize my books and paper.  I use cleaning as productive therapy.

For 2 hours. 

   Like all things, cleaning will take up whatever time I give it.  I like two hours.  By cleaning in a designated 2 hour block, my mind will stay clear and focused.  I will get whatever needs done- done.  And here is the bonus...by only giving myself 2 hours to clean, I focus more on prevention during the week so when I do clean I have less to do.  Be firm with yourself- set a time boundary for your cleaning and then be super focused and present when you do clean.  (shut off distractions)

 

After and before... 
   After a big project or event, cleaning re-grounds me and re-boots my space.  After a trip, work project, party... my home and life need to be cleaned up and put away before I move on.  On the opposite side, I clean before I begin a project or have an event.  I did extra cleaning before we had thanksgiving at our house.  This type of cleaning is more like a project and event related vs weekly maintenance.  Having a clean home helps you welcome people into your home---with less stress.

Did that help?  Here is the thing.  Cleaning is a gift or it is a burden.  It supports you or depletes you.  How you do your work has more to do with your attitude, habits and wisdom than it does the actual work.  It is what we say it is.

Happy cleaning,
          Denise... traveler of life chores and dust bunnies

The Practice of Smiling as a Meditation

The practice of smiling as a meditation is one of the most profound and flexible meditations you will ever find.  By thoughtfully taking time to smile, no matter the weather, day's events or season, you will not only relax your nervous system and up your resiliency but you also become present.

The Practice of Smiling as a Meditation

   by Thich Nhat Hahn from Be Free Where you are

  "Smiling is a practice.  There are over 300 muscles in your face.

When you are angry or fearful, these muscles tense up.

The tension in these muscles creates a feeling of hardness.

If you know how to breathe and produce a smile however, the tension will disappear."

"Make smiling an exercise."

"There are times when your joy produces a smile.

There are also times when a smile causes relaxation, calm and joyu.

I do not wait until there is joy in me to smile:  Joy will come later

Sometimes when I am along in my room in the dark, 

 I practice smiling to myself.

I do this to be kind to myself, to take good care of myself, to love myself.

I know that if I cannot take care of myself, I cannot take care of anyone else."

"Being compassionate to yourself is a very important practice.  

When you are tired, angry or in despair,

you should know hoe to take care of your tiredness, your anger and your despair.

That is why we practice smiling, mindful walking, breathing and mindful eating."

To create smiling as a practice, I recommend incorporating this smiling practice into an already established habit.  Something you do everyday- rain or shine: washing your face, cooking dinner, exercising, driving, right before you go to sleep and when you wake up.  By connecting this new baby practice with a current habit you are using what is called a trigger habit.  When you connect a new habit with an existing habit it ups its chances of becoming a habit exponentially.

Just a FYI, there are days this practice comes easy and there are times it is a deep practice.                     Be kind, consistent and persistent - the benefits are huge!!

Happy travels,
      Denise
                                         Life Coach and Speaker for home and health

Habits are like compound interest

If you want to be happier this year focus on your habits.  Create a clear and beautiful vision of your future.  Then create habits to support that vision.  Small simple actions towards your goals...consistently and persistently done.  Pick one action....do it everyday...see how it transforms over time.  Like compound interest- tiny and consistent actions become powerful habits.

 Habits are like compound interest.  At first it doesn't seem like much

The easiest way to add a new habit is to hook it up with an already established habit. A Trigger habit:  A task or activity you already have to do and have been doing long enough that it is habitual.  Such as waking up, washing dishes, riding in the car, eating or even washing your face.  Our simple daily activities are a gold mine when it comes to creating a natural space and rhythm to nourish a new habit.

You want to have more energy?  Improve your breath.  Everytime you engage in a household chore, start with taking 5 long slow deep breaths.  Stand tall, smile and relax your shoulders, come back to present for 5 breathes or even 5 minutes.   As you vacuum, as you wash dishes, as you shop, as you clean...  you practice breathing.  This tiny practice becomes fertile ground to uplift your life.

Home care is a rich space to create new habits and up shift deeply imbedded unhealthy habits.

       Goals need legs to survive.  Cultivate your dreams and vision in your habits

Denise Coach and Trainer:  Home life and work at your service

Prune your chores = Increased Happiness

Cooking, cleaning, shopping, errands etc... our chores will expand in our lives until we start pruning. Without a bit of clutter clearing our freedom is squished and smashed.  Our chores and habits are closely related they silently and quietly move into our lives talking up our time and energy until we are exhausted and bogged down by life..

    The laws of money say your expenses will match and exceed your income unless you create intentional boundaries and awareness to stop the over spending.    The same is true of our chores.  Our in boxes, to do lists and daily chores can become time clutter.   Our lists of daily, weekly  and seasonal responsibilities needs periodic pruning.  Before the holidays appear, downsize your chores, giving yourself breathing room to play and celebrate.

Downsizing- deleting-delegating chores = Increased happiness

This week I came across a study... How buying time promotes happiness  The study tested the hypothesis of how spending money on material goods would compare to spending money on activities that saved time on our chores.  It turns our we are significantly happier spending money on saving time on our chores than on new stuff.

5 tips to Pruning your Autumn Chores

 Start slashing, cutting and simplifying your chores- get your knife sharp and mind clear 

    1)  Become aware...Pay attention to what you are doing each day- how much time and energy you spend on chores??

    2)  Unclutter your self imposed work!  How have your chores expanded over time?

            How many grocery stores do you go to each week?

            Do you have more stuff to dust around.

            Can your meals be simplified?  Can you use fewer dishes?

    3)  Delegate!  Hire! Buy!  Sometimes all you have to do is ask for help.

             Other times you might want to hire out.  A housecleaner, an decluttering coach, dinner out

                Help to the rescue!!  Get help!!!!!  Lighten your load!!

     4)  Simplify! Simplify! Simplify!
              Cook less but bigger batches,  Eat simply, enjoy left overs

              Downsize your possessions- less is more free time

              Shop less, shop fewer places, shop with a clear list

     5)  Just do it- Decide to reduce!   Open up your creative juices to see how many "required" chores can be simplified, downsized, reduced and deleted!

  This last quarter of 2019 sets the stage for next year.  Start by following our seasonal cues.  Let go of your leaves, let plants die away, harvest and prune your chores.  Less is more in our lives.  We don't need to go on vacation for freedom.  Freedom can be found everyday of our lives.  Breathing space is a gift it is the best gift you can ever give yourself and those you love.  Chores are there to support us in our lives...we were not created to mark off our daily chore lists

As always, I wish you great joy in your daily travels,

              Denise Frakes
    Personal and home coach... at your service

Unjudge your cleaning - home and life

While you clean- be nice to yourself and to those around you

Cleaning is a life chore

Cleaning is a life chore.

 Life chore definition:   a chore or task you will need to do daily, if not weekly, your entire life. 

 That can sound pretty ominous if you don't like your chores.  It's best to make friends with your chores as soon as possible.  

Chores are closely tied to our habits.  They are repeated over and over again. They run on autopilot. 

 If you have a life chore... cleaning, shopping, cooking, paying bills, even exercising, that is not working for you, change your habits, upgrade your skills and shift your attitude.  Your life will be greatly enriched and blessed in the process.

I've enjoyed 27 plus years of working with homes: cleaning, uncluttering, coaching, writing, experiencing, teaching, learning and pondering.

 Home care and chores has become a deep source of wisdom and inspiration.  Dive into anything deep and long enough and you will find your answers.

If you are ready to shift your life chores, let's get going.  We all have one life to live, getting bogged down in a chore is depleting of your spirit.

  Question:  Think of all your daily and weekly chores and tasks.  Which ones give you energy and which ones take it away?

  Denise,
      Wishing you easy and wonder,
          Life coach, residue free living specialist
             

Stay young with a Wild Spirit

Keep your wild spirit healthy  We all have wild spirits- they are timeless.  When I talk on clutter or cleaning or Mondays or food or chores, I'm thinking of our wild spirits. How do we let go of what diminishes and muddles our beautiful wild spirits?  How do we wake up refreshed, look in the mirror and see shining eyes smiling back?  How do we cultivate spontaneous laughter, serendipity and wonder? ...

Last night before I dozing off I read one of my favorite passages from John O'Donohue's Anam Cara book of Celtic Wisdom.  This morning I sprung out of bed - inspired.  What lights up your wild spirit????  (Thank you Gretchen and Leslie for sharing with me Anam Cara and Iona)

The Passionate Heart Never Ages 

Page 187-188 Anam Cara by John O'Donohue

"I know some very old people who have hearts full of roguery, devilment and fun; there is a sparkle in their presence.  When you meet them, you have a sense of light, lightness and gaiety. 

 Sometimes in very old bodies there are incredibly young wild souls looking out at you.  It is so invigorating to meet a wild old person who has remained faithful to their wild life force.

  Meister Eckhart said that, too, in a more formal way:  There is a place in the soul that is eternal.  He says time makes you old, but that there is a place in the soul that time cannot touch.  It is a lovely thing to know this about yourself. 

 Even though time will inscribe your face, weaken your limbs, make your movements slower and finally empty your life, nevertheless there is a still a place in your spirit that time can never get near.  You are as young as you feel.

If you begin to feel the warmth of your soul, there will be a youthfulness in you that no one will ever be able to take away from you.

Put more formally, this is a way of inhabiting the eternal side of your life.

It would be sad on your one journey through life to miss out on this eternal presence around you and within you."

I get it, life comes with chores, irksomes and residue.  The secret to life, why I coach and my own passion, is to keep on cleaning off life's residues, to minimize the clutter in your life, your monkey mind's chatter.   Nourishing a space, creating time and energy to keep our beautiful, wild, spirits alive and well... no matter what what our age.

As always, wishing you happy travels on your journey,
     Denise Frakes
       Home and Personal Coach.... for a nourishing space and healthy spirit

3 tips to turn your daily chores into space to breathe

Cleaning, laundry, picking up, driving to work, mowing the lawn, grocery shopping .... the list goes on. What you consider a chore is highly unique to you but there area few "chores" that seem to rise to the top.  As a professional cleaner and educator on the happy healthy home.  Cleaning is the one I hear the most. Since we spend our lives doing chores, wouldn't it be wise of us to make friends... sooner than later

"All work is important.  All work is of value.  The Amish honor what we would call the process and the product.  Both.  For them it's all connected.  ..... There is no need to rush to get one thing over so you can get on to something more important.  .... The Amish approach everything they do with the same attitude.  They had shown me that any type of work could be meaningful.  It is the spirit in which you do it that makes the difference".
                    Notes from the book Plain and Simple by Sue Bender (click to order - great read!!)

 This book was recommended to me by Dana P.  Thank you Dana. In December of 2008 she and I had a great conversation about chores, joy and practicing.  This book and our conversation have stayed with me and inspired me for over 10 plus years.

So how do you turn your chores into rich space to live?  I have thought and played with this idea for years.  And to be honest, when I'm flowing in my life it is easy.  When I'm struggling in my life I lean on these chores to ground me and give me rhythm.  When I'm overbooked, rushing around and stressed I hope I remember to use my chores as space to breathe and relax. This is the practice- remembering and then doing.  As Sue says in her book... "it isn't what I'm doing but the spirit in which I do that makes all the difference."

This practice is personal.  What you consider a chore is highly personal to you.  The question to ask yourself is... what do you dread?  What do you find irritating, exhausting or boring? What is a waste of your time and energy?  Pick a chore.  Play with it and see if you can't improve your relationship.

Tips for making a chore a gift....

1.  Give it space.  What we don't value we don't give space in our lives.  This translates to rushing, sticking our chores in to small spaces, odd times and no energy.  If you need to clean or mow.  Then give it space to do so.  When you have space you will naturally relax.

2.  Un-Judge your tasks.  Everything you do is important.  Projects, making money and having fun may seem more important and they are important but consider chores as a balance.  Chores are grounding, rhythmic and nourishing activities that support you and relax your nervous system.

3.  Use this time and space to play, to create to practice.  We tend to always be busy.  Are you looking for time to meditate, to create, to exercise or just be?  Well consider using your daily and weekly chores as time to hold your posture, to breathe, to relax, to wonder and ponder.  The possibilities of what you can do with this time is infinite.

We all need time and space to breathe.

As always, I wish you inspired travels.
    Denise Frakes
Home and Personal Coach