Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Residue Free Moments

All there is, is this moment.  When I sat down this morning in my office, my to-do list and in box were overflowing.  I have a tendency to become lost in my list, exhausted before the day begins.  My thoughts dance over what needs to be done ASAP, what is really important, what won't go away until I do it and of course what I would love to do.  So often what I would love falls to the end of my to-do list.  Before I know it's bed time and my love has been put on hold once again.

In 2004, I woke up from a dream.  My grandparents, at that point were all still alive and living as best as they could.  My dream was one of those dreams that change your life and stay with you as if it was as real as the nose on my face.  In my dream, I realized, if my grandparents could go back to one day in their lives  it would probably be any day.  The gift of one day where your bones don't hurt, you can once again drive, your family is growing and surrounding you.  You have the freedom to choose your day.  I decided to find a way to learn to love each day, not for its grandeur but for its gift of being.  The dream made me understand it was not about the grand days but about the love and presence of each day.  Watching the heifers in the front pasture kicking up their heels in joy.  Picking an OH so ripe tomato and having the juice run down your arm.  Going fishing at 5 in the morning, prying a sleepy and maybe slightly grumpy granddaughter out of bed to dig worms.  Baking cookies just because you love how chocolate chip cookies fresh out of the oven brings smiles to everyone who enters the kitchen. 

The gift is in the day, not in the list or the want or the maybe someday.  The gift is in each moment.  That is where our presents are.  So this morning, I start not at my stack waiting so ever patiently for me to attend, but in doing something my heart desires.  And this morning it is writing to you- who ever you may be. 

My desire to be present and love each day is really a practice.  Some days and even weeks I forget my practice, but this practice planted from the seeds of a dream keeps popping up like dandelions in the front yard.  Little yellow flowers of joyful exuberance.

May your day be full of presents- one moment at a time,
                             Denise